By Popular Demand: True Coliwood Stories - College Athletics

[TrueEpic08]

The Qs... Jesus. Let me sum up the Qs for you real quick. For those who are unfamiliar with frat culture, a dude who is trying to join a frat is called a pledge; the other pledges unite like a lame ass voltron to form what is called a line; when they complete the process of reciting historical facts about the frat that no one gives a fukk about, running demeaning errands for the older frat members, and learning a bunch of sassy ass dance moves, they have a public ceremony to officially mark their acceptance into the frat, which is called crossing.

Crossing is a cute little process for everyone. A bunch of people show up to watch nikkas get their little frat shirts with their names on 'em, recite some quasi-homosexual poems and shyt where they dis other frats and prop up their own, and do some weird hybrid of the macarena and the electric slide. Frat nikkas, ? I'm just having fun with y'all.

Anyway, I remember seeing the Qs cross because they did that shyt in the courtyard of my dorm. Them nikkas ain't have no dance moves, fam. They had 3 dudes on their line, and they proceeded to beat their asses in front of everyone. Hard ass punches to the chest and shyt. Then in the middle of the "ceremony" they stuffed all 3 of the nikkas in the trunk of a car and drove off. I am not making this shyt up, man. The crowd was just standing there awkwardly, murmuring and shifting around nervously. About 15 minutes later the car drove back, they let the nikkas out the trunk, and beat them some more. Once they'd eaten enough punches, they officially crossed. No dancing, no shirts, just 3 nikkas catching a live action Mike Tyson's Punch Out beating in public. fukking Qs, fam.

The entire fraternity spiel has me laughing my ass off, but this section ESPECIALLY had me going...partially because many members of my social circle pledged Omega Psi Phi.

And fukk you for shytting on stepping. Never pledged anything (fukk that notion with a rusted pipe...frats of all complexions were kind of lame to me anyway), but I picked up women off of the stepping skills I learned early in life.

But yeah, another good one here.

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

My views have evolved significantly since then, but back then I'm not sure there was a group of people I'd ever felt more about than the Kappas. Between Al. B. Sure! and them... fukk. Lightskinned nikkas were dead to me. Them nikkas stayed rockin' the tan satchels draped over their shoulders to match their khakis. Throwing up the a-ok/playboy sign to each other, dancing toward each other in public, twirling candy canes and shyt... it was like the Bloods had somehow developed a gay ass set that had watched too many Kid & Play videos. To this day I'm not sure I've been around anything cornier in my life.


Another part of what made me disgusted with the Kappas was that I'd met one of the former presidents of the frat the summer before I got to school while I was doing a volunteer program to help underprivileged kids. Dude took a liking to me and offered to recommend me to his brothers once I got to campus. Fam, when I got to campus and actually met those nikkas, I was wild offended! Like, damn, this is the impression you had of me? That I would crew up with these nikkas? fukk outta here.

As far as the frats went, they each had distinctly different personalities on this campus at that time. I've heard (and seen) that they vary from campus to campus. When I was there, Sigmas were by far the chillest cats, though they were generally looked down on. They were generally darker than the Kappas and Alphas, while not being "cool dark" like the Qs. The Alphas were the bougiest most uppity nikkas I have been around. The Qs... Jesus. Let me sum up the Qs for you real quick. For those who are unfamiliar with frat culture, a dude who is trying to join a frat is called a pledge; the other pledges unite like a lame ass voltron to form what is called a line; when they complete the process of reciting historical facts about the frat that no one gives a fukk about, running demeaning errands for the older frat members, and learning a bunch of sassy ass dance moves, they have a public ceremony to officially mark their acceptance into the frat, which is called crossing.

Crossing is a cute little process for everyone. A bunch of people show up to watch nikkas get their little frat shirts with their names on 'em, recite some quasi-homosexual poems and shyt where they dis other frats and prop up their own, and do some weird hybrid of the macarena and the electric slide. Frat nikkas, ? I'm just having fun with y'all.

Anyway, I remember seeing the Qs cross because they did that shyt in the courtyard of my dorm. Them nikkas ain't have no dance moves, fam. They had 3 dudes on their line, and they proceeded to beat their asses in front of everyone. Hard ass punches to the chest and shyt. Then in the middle of the "ceremony" they stuffed all 3 of the nikkas in the trunk of a car and drove off. I am not making this shyt up, man. The crowd was just standing there awkwardly, murmuring and shifting around nervously. About 15 minutes later the car drove back, they let the nikkas out the trunk, and beat them some more. Once they'd eaten enough punches, they officially crossed. No dancing, no shirts, just 3 nikkas catching a live action Mike Tyson's Punch Out beating in public. fukking Qs, fam.

I'm crying......this is exactly what I thought about Kappas. The funny thing is that their softness is reflected in their pledging process. They sit around and sing r&b songs amongst each other while pledging. Almost all my friends pledged to a frat. Half of my friends are Kappa half are Ques........I've seen both pledge processes up and personal because I lived with nikkas while pledging. I'll say this, I have all the respect in the world for Ques.......they definitely train those guys like they're athletes. The ass whopping they take are on the level of the shyt Suge and death row nikkas used to put on nikkas. They definitely take wood, pause I fukks with the Ques tho.....They're into real nikka shyt. Eating fried chicken and fukking bytches. My home boys used to walk around literally biting bytches in the ass in public and hopping. They're the reason I eat hoes ass to this day. lol

But yeah, there's no way I'm letting a nikka whoop my ass just so I could join a frat. You basically give up 1 entire semester of college just to pledge to a frat. I'm sure it's a lot different in the south where just about everyone pledges. Bigger lines, mean less attention so pretty much everyone skates (doesn't have a tough pledge process) Could never be me tho......but I can't lie, it would have benefitted my business greatly and for that reason I wish I would have done it (I'm a DJ/producer, would have gave me a bigger base)......but it doesn't fit my personality at all.

 

[Taadow]

What the fukk was I even talkin' about? Oh yeah, lightskinned nikkas.

When you do the book for this, this is the dust jacket quote right churr.

 

[The_Sheff]

Man I feel you on bouncing when the Kappas tried to get at you.

Man me and the homies were in a club that was playing some bullshyt house techno crap that even the white chicks weren't feeling. Them chicks showed up to shake some ass. So I guess the DJ finally gets the message and starts playing some down south bass type music to get everyone moving. About 3 songs in the dance floor starts jumpin and dude took it back and played "Back That Ass Up". Me having plenty of experience with that song knew it was time to get near the dance floor cause bytches gonna be looking for crotches to shake on. As me and the homies get good position on the outskirts of the floor I swear a group of like 9 Kappas rush the floor and start doing a routine.............to Back That Ass Up! Man that shyt threw everybody off, nikkas......bytches......the DJ......everybody. We were so confused on what was taking place that it threw off the whole night.

It was so fukked up that after that point if you had a red shirt on you might as well had canceled rest of your night and gone home. Me and my boy were shooting the breeze with a group of chicks and one girl stopped the convo and asked if he was with them kappas, simply because he had on a red shirt.

 

[All Women Are Queens]

Can yo fix the links to your older stories? thx

 

[Jesus Is Lord]

The usage of Lord Jamar' s line from the first album, niqqa despised Greeks. "They want a niqqa clean cut like the ancient Greeks, but the ancient Greeks were fukkin freaks! I'm gonna let it grow like a forest, ain't chopping shyt down that's why I hear the sound"- The Gods Must Be Crazy

Walt, I actually gather my family around the fireplace and read your short stories. We roast peanuts instead of marshmellows, cause Lord Jamar said they got pork in them.

 

[lutha]

another good story brotha....this one hit close to home cause i'm a lightskin (actually i'm brown, but since I wasn't kissed from the African sun black, I got called lightskin from time to time) brotha from the south with 'good hair'....but no offense taken cause I feel the same way lol...no matter what a lighter skinned brotha looked like, he always tried to be a 'pretty boy' cause it got women...also, no matter how they really were as a person, they'd always try to be extra smooth on some billy dee colt 45 tip...it was like those muthafukkas were cloned or some shyt....hell, i can say the same thing about darker skinned brothas...except they had 2 different types they tried to be: they were either hawk from spencer for hire/a mj clone or they were a 'thug' cause it got them women...what's funny about the women they got: the women usually ended up being the opposite of whatever shade the brotha was because of some dumbass reason based off their complexion...lighter skin brothas got darker sistas easier, while darker brothas got lighter sistas easier...

as it pertains to frats, in the south the stereotypes tend to fit...most kappas tend to be lighter skinned brothas; while the ques tend to be darker skinned brothas...cause like you said, people in the south are 'color struck' and they want you to look the part...reminds of this one time i was walking with one of my boys (dark skin cat) from a football game....we walked past a couple ques handing out fliers to a party....they looked at me, then looked at my boy and gave him a flier but not me...I couldn't do shyt but laugh...

anyway, i'm not gonna derail your thread going on about the color struckness of the south and how it's affected our community...just will say, good shyt, keep them coming...

ps. i'm a light skin brotha from the south you can trust, muthafukka lol

 

[TrueEpic08]

Man I feel you on bouncing when the Kappas tried to get at you.

Man me and the homies were in a club that was playing some bullshyt house techno crap that even the white chicks weren't feeling. Them chicks showed up to shake some ass. So I guess the DJ finally gets the message and starts playing some down south bass type music to get everyone moving. About 3 songs in the dance floor starts jumpin and dude took it back and played "Back That Ass Up". Me having plenty of experience with that song knew it was time to get near the dance floor cause bytches gonna be looking for crotches to shake on. As me and the homies get good position on the outskirts of the floor I swear a group of like 9 Kappas rush the floor and start doing a routine.............to Back That Ass Up! Man that shyt threw everybody off, nikkas......bytches......the DJ......everybody. We were so confused on what was taking place that it threw off the whole night.

Let me guess, they got in line and cut through the middle of the dance floor like a bunch of a$$holes, didn't they?

This is why I couldn't go to parties at Black frat houses. It ALWAYS happened at the most inopportune time, too.

 

[Sensitive Blake Griffin]

damn all the story links on the first page are fukked up

 

[Walt]

Can yo fix the links to your older stories? thx

damn all the story links on the first page are fukked up

Will go through the thread and remedy the situation soon.

 

[The_Sheff]

Let me guess, they got in line and cut through the middle of the dance floor like a bunch of a$$holes, didn't they?

This is why I couldn't go to parties at Black frat houses. It ALWAYS happened at the most inopportune time, too.

Yeah, everyone was looking at them confused as hell. I mean they thought they were out there killing it and everyone else was wondering if this was in fact the gayest shyt they have ever seen.

 

[mastermind]

Lightskinned nikkas was some hugging ass motherfukkers down there. Battin' they eyes at bytches, flashing the gay ass slow smiles, like "heyyyyyyyy girl" and then giving out long hugs. Like, my nikka, why are you always hugging these broads? Give them some space to breathe, my dude. Throw a head nod at the bird and keep it movin', or just say "what up, shorty" and stride like a motherfukkin' man. These nikkas were Tresvantin' like a motherfukker with them hugs.
...

Anyway, I remember seeing the Qs cross because they did that shyt in the courtyard of my dorm. Them nikkas ain't have no dance moves, fam. They had 3 dudes on their line, and they proceeded to beat their asses in front of everyone. Hard ass punches to the chest and shyt. Then in the middle of the "ceremony" they stuffed all 3 of the nikkas in the trunk of a car and drove off. I am not making this shyt up, man. The crowd was just standing there awkwardly, murmuring and shifting around nervously. About 15 minutes later the car drove back, they let the nikkas out the trunk, and beat them some more. Once they'd eaten enough punches, they officially crossed. No dancing, no shirts, just 3 nikkas catching a live action Mike Tyson's Punch Out beating in public. fukking Qs, fam.

 

[dennis roadman]

that Q ceremony got me fukkin dying here

i remember when i moved to NC and was around a lot of universities there, i used to get subtly enraged at the lightskin slow smiles and enveloping hugs. didnt realize i wasnt alone i also hated them swinging their shoulders back and forth always looked like they were coming down the entrance ramp at a WWF event

this story is 10x funnier when juxtaposed with @General Mills story about the dark skinned Caribbean chick instantly hating him for being dark too

 

[Walt]

All the links in the first post have been updated and should be working again.

 

[mastermind]

Man I feel you on bouncing when the Kappas tried to get at you.

Man me and the homies were in a club that was playing some bullshyt house techno crap that even the white chicks weren't feeling. Them chicks showed up to shake some ass. So I guess the DJ finally gets the message and starts playing some down south bass type music to get everyone moving. About 3 songs in the dance floor starts jumpin and dude took it back and played "Back That Ass Up". Me having plenty of experience with that song knew it was time to get near the dance floor cause bytches gonna be looking for crotches to shake on. As me and the homies get good position on the outskirts of the floor I swear a group of like 9 Kappas rush the floor and start doing a routine.............to Back That Ass Up! Man that shyt threw everybody off, nikkas......bytches......the DJ......everybody. We were so confused on what was taking place that it threw off the whole night.

It was so fukked up that after that point if you had a red shirt on you might as well had canceled rest of your night and gone home. Me and my boy were shooting the breeze with a group of chicks and one girl stopped the convo and asked if he was with them kappas, simply because he had on a red shirt.

there is nothing worse than going to a party and seeing frats and sorros doing their stupid routine on the floor.


And Kappas wear make up. Im convinced. I remember going to YardFest during Howard's Homecoming one year, and there were a group of them there with make up, eyebrows plucked, and over-processed curls. We didnt have them on my campus so this was my 1st time around them. The prettiest dudes Ive ever seen.

Still, the Qs were next level of scust. They were pretty much a gang in purple and gold. They only had 2 of them on campus but 30 of them would come to parties.

Its funny too. The Sigmas were the top frat on my campus because it was them and the Iotas. Cats only joined the Sigmas because they were the only ones not suspended. When the other frats came back, the Sigma numbers fell.

Props to @Walt for another amazing story.