California Man Walks Into Bear While Texting

jaydolf spitler

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:russ:

Breh was prolly texting his girl on some :smugfavre: slick shyt then looks up and sees this big ass bear and is quick to go :merchant:

prolly the fastest he ran in his life. Shoulda took that one breh's advice on here and performed a well executed grapple and concentrated strikes to the carotid artery and he woulda saved the neighborhood

When I lived in Cali for 6 months I wasn't used to the different wildlife. Learned about skunks pretty fast after crossing paths with them. One day I slept in my room with the window open, took off for work the next morning and found a dead cat on my doorstep just layin there with its whole stomach eaten out on the welcome mat.

Edit: Just found the picture of it :scust:

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Opened the door and saw the cat laying there, I was like :damn: what the fukk happened last night. First thing I thought of was that the people who I was renting a room out from were involved with the mafia and owed some money so they prolly slaughtered a cat on the doormat. It almost made sense to me cuz they always wanted cash only on some shady shyt. Talked to some friends and they were like damn breh that's the Chupacabra. Turns out a coyote snatched up the neighbors cat and the neighbor made a ton of noise reacting to it so it dragged it to our doorstep and feasted :heh:. But I walked back to my room after finding out what really happened and it hit me that :ohhh: that coyote coulda just climbed thru my window I coulda been the one with the stomach eaten out
 
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jaydolf spitler

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That dude prolly drawing up intricate detour plans like how they came up with ambush plans on rival gangs in the wire
 

Jhoon

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Verizon needs to roll back some of its cover ... what?
 

Suicide King

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Damn, better have a 44 magnum or shotgun in bear country.

Anything less means the bear will take 10 minutes to die, and 9 minutes to kill you.
 
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