Cheating

KnowledgeIsQueen

Duality Duel
Joined
May 1, 2012
Messages
1,432
Reputation
300
Daps
2,088
Reppin
Brooknam
I hear you.

I think one's indivdual promiscuity plays a large role in this issue. I have met a few promiscuous married women who flirt with men other than their spouse and wait dormant until the man aggressively responds to the flirting to upgrade it to cheating.

Married women who are not really promiscuous or openly flirtatious intimidate men who are not their husbands because the man will assume that he has no chance as soon as he sees the ring.

To go back to my initial point, if I married a promiscuous woman (which I would not do knowingly, but you never know) I don't think I would view cheating as a deal breaker as long as everything else is fine.

Now to piggy back Knowledge is Queen, if I view cheating as completely out of her character and she does that I will feel betrayed. I am not sure whether that bretrayal would be enough for me to throw my family and current livelyhood away, though.

I don't view it as throwing anything way per se. It bowls down to peace of mind.

If in the event you find out your S/O or spouse cheats, how will it affect your relationship in the future? Will it lead to fights/bickering in front of your child(ren), family, co-workers, friends? Will it lead to unwarranted accusations whenever your they're their presence? Will it turn you into a stalker/snooper? Constantly looking for something to throw in their face.....

It's impossible to sweep how you feel under the rug; for financially stability, family or otherwise.
 

Ghost Utmost

The Soul of the Internet
Supporter
Joined
May 2, 2012
Messages
20,477
Reputation
8,857
Daps
74,683
Reppin
the Aether
If the person can't control themselves in tht way then they can't be trusted in any way. If they would slip into a fitting room and suck a stranger's dikk, why wouldn't they slip $2500 out of the bank and go on a crack binge for the weekend?

If she would do A, I ain't even waiting around to see what B, C, and D gonna look like.

Marriage is about raising the best kids you can. Let go of all your selfish desires at the door and start focussing on your babies. See, most of y'all don't think twice about what's best for your kids. You drag them to different cities or make them spend half the time in one house and half the time at another. Uproot them, ignore them and wonder why they are turning out to be weirdos.

It might be "just sex" but it can turn into "just AIDS" or "just another mouth to feed" real quick. That's why you don't do that shyt. You are putting my dikk on the line and I ain't even having none of the fun.
 

SafeForWork

Banned
Joined
Jun 8, 2012
Messages
978
Reputation
-31
Daps
455
Reppin
NULL
I don't view it as throwing anything way per se. It bowls down to peace of mind.

If in the event you find out your S/O or spouse cheats, how will it affect your relationship in the future? Will it lead to fights/bickering in front of your child(ren), family, co-workers, friends? Will it lead to unwarranted accusations whenever your they're their presence? Will it turn you into a stalker/snooper? Constantly looking for something to throw in their face.....

It's impossible to sweep how you feel under the rug; for financially stability, family or otherwise.

It really should not. It's petty. If both parties have high self esteem, the fact that your spouse stepped out and had sex with someone else is shame on them, not shame on you.

Not judging you, but in my opinion you seem pretty emotional just based off of your posts in the topic, which is fair. The way this is seen is also based on personality and where your priorities are. I'm Nigerian and I know a Nigerian couple where the man cheated. We all go to the same church. The wife's family is filthy rich and powerful. Being that Nigerians hold marriage/ family/ respect etc so high, the man looked like the fool, not her at all. He basically had to humble himself infront of his wife, her family, his family, and the church. This was years ago and now they are back to business as usual coming to church in Bentley coupes.

Cheating is demonic, but I think we have to accept the fact that sex with someone who you don't love is a petty reason to ruin your life over.
 

SafeForWork

Banned
Joined
Jun 8, 2012
Messages
978
Reputation
-31
Daps
455
Reppin
NULL
If the person can't control themselves in tht way then they can't be trusted in any way. If they would slip into a fitting room and suck a stranger's dikk, why wouldn't they slip $2500 out of the bank and go on a crack binge for the weekend?

If she would do A, I ain't even waiting around to see what B, C, and D gonna look like.

Marriage is about raising the best kids you can. Let go of all your selfish desires at the door and start focussing on your babies. See, most of y'all don't think twice about what's best for your kids. You drag them to different cities or make them spend half the time in one house and half the time at another. Uproot them, ignore them and wonder why they are turning out to be weirdos.

It might be "just sex" but it can turn into "just AIDS" or "just another mouth to feed" real quick. That's why you don't do that shyt. You are putting my dikk on the line and I ain't even having none of the fun.

LOL :lawd:

No disrespect but you are so angry :umad:
 

dr. pill biden

All Star
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
1,135
Reputation
103
Daps
2,713
If the person can't control themselves in tht way then they can't be trusted in any way. If they would slip into a fitting room and suck a stranger's dikk, why wouldn't they slip $2500 out of the bank and go on a crack binge for the weekend?

If she would do A, I ain't even waiting around to see what B, C, and D gonna look like.

Marriage is about raising the best kids you can. Let go of all your selfish desires at the door and start focussing on your babies. See, most of y'all don't think twice about what's best for your kids. You drag them to different cities or make them spend half the time in one house and half the time at another. Uproot them, ignore them and wonder why they are turning out to be weirdos.

It might be "just sex" but it can turn into "just AIDS" or "just another mouth to feed" real quick. That's why you don't do that shyt. You are putting my dikk on the line and I ain't even having none of the fun.
I think that's waaaayy too extreme of thinking. Humans are humans, shyt happens. An err in judgement just for a nut or two isn't enough alone to break up my family. I don't expect perfection out of my mate. I'd be hurt, no doubt, and I know it's a cliche but time heals all wounds :smile:
 

KnowledgeIsQueen

Duality Duel
Joined
May 1, 2012
Messages
1,432
Reputation
300
Daps
2,088
Reppin
Brooknam
It really should not. It's petty. If both parties have high self esteem, the fact that your spouse stepped out and had sex with someone else is shame on them, not shame on you.

Not judging you, but in my opinion you seem pretty emotional just based off of your posts in the topic, which is fair. The way this is seen is also based on personality and where your priorities are. I'm Nigerian and I know a Nigerian couple where the man cheated. We all go to the same church. The wife's family is filthy rich and powerful. Being that Nigerians hold marriage/ family/ respect etc so high, the man looked like the fool, not her at all. He basically had to humble himself infront of his wife, her family, his family, and the church. This was years ago and now they are back to business as usual coming to church in Bentley coupes.

Cheating is demonic, but I think we have to accept the fact that sex with someone who you don't love is a petty reason to ruin your life over.

Notice my response isn't pertaining to self, it's in general. Whether you believe it's petty or not, I don't believe anyone can state they've never seen a couple bicker in public or air our their dirty laundry around ears that weren't meant to hear it.

I've seen more individuals who're better off severing ties than trying to make it work based off what they display around others, which I know is 100 times worse behind closed doors.

High self esteem is irrelevant, as well as shame if one of two people is unhappy.
 
Joined
May 2, 2012
Messages
69,659
Reputation
31,245
Daps
412,835
Reppin
Ft. Stewart, Ga
I am married and the one thing my wife knows above all else is that if she cheats on me, basically betraying me and our marriage vows in the most selfish way possible, I'm dropping her. This is regardless of children, property, finances, etc.

As a man, if I'm working my hardest, providing for our marriage, being faithful, and honoring the COMMITMENT that was made in our union, she had better be doing all the above. A relationship is a 50-50 partnership, if I'm loyal then YOU are loyal. If I'm supportive then YOU are supportive. There is absolutely 0 excuse for either person to be unfaithful. I hold myself to these standards as well, especially being in the military. There's p*ssy literally EVERYWHERE in the military being thrown at you. Some of these women I work with, deploy with, am on missions with, I see and interact with more than I do my wife. I however, made a COMMITMENT to this woman that I would be loving, supportive, and faithful so long as we both shall live and I intend to honor that. No amount of loose p*ssy can make me be unfaithful unless I CONCSCIOUSLY decide to indulge, which is a matter of self-control.

If a woman cannot display this basic level of self control then why be with her? All of this "but the kids/the house/the money" is ultimately irrelevant if you are sharing them with a person who had NO RESPECT for you than to honor her commitments. Her being unfaithful shows a lack of respect for not only you, but everything you have sacrificed and compromised within marriage. Her sucking and fukking the next nikka is her holding the middle finger up to everything you as the man should stand for...


Everything else, in my opinion is nothing more than an excuse. If I ever did have children, and taught them to respect themselves and hold themselves in high merit, then I would be little more than a hypocrite staying in a marriage where my wife had such little respect for everything that was sacrificed on my end for the betterment of the relationship that she would go fukk somebody else on some "it's just sex" mentality:childplease: would I want my son growing up with THAT as an example of a father who respects himself and in turn demands the respect of those around him? Would I want my daughter living with the example that unfaithfulness and slutty behavior warrant no consequence?:merchant: And would I be able to live with myself if I allowed a selfish and ungrateful woman to continue benefiting from my hard work, support, and honesty? :rudy:

There is a saying my father told me when i was young, A Selfish Woman Is Satan's Plaything. Think about the ESPN chick we are all laughing and giving Jalen Rose props over. This bytch is married, with children and on LIVE TELEVISION making googly eyes at another man with not a care in the world.. COMPLETE disrespect for the man she made vows with, the father of her children, the supposed "Head" of the household. This man is now dealing with public embarrassment because his wife was so selfish she couldn't even wait until the cameras stopped rolling to get her whore on. THIS is the type of people we are giving passes to if we just "try to make it work". That is the WRONG answer. If a person (male or female, I am simply speaking from a male point of view since that is my gender) has such little respect for you that she's willing to meet a man, go to the house/hotel/bedroom/car with him, allow him to undress her, and proceed to the act of sexual gratification with him without ONCE thinking about her marriage, then there is absolutely NOTHING to be worked on...
 

Ghost Utmost

The Soul of the Internet
Supporter
Joined
May 2, 2012
Messages
20,477
Reputation
8,857
Daps
74,683
Reppin
the Aether
LOL :lawd:

No disrespect but you are so angry :umad:

No. I would be angry if I had to sit there and act like it was all good knowing that my lady is spreading for the neighbor.

The other choice is just out of self respect. People do shyt like that to you(?) cause they don't think you will do anything about it. Not that waking out on chick A will have any direct bearing on how chick B treats me, but it does have an effect in the sense that now I smell like I won't put up with any bullshyt. It's a look-in-the-eye type of thing that you carry with you into the future.

I can only assume that you're advocating putting up with a woman cheating (as long as it's 'just sex'?). This type of behavior will follow you even though you think no one will know in the future. You'll stink of it.

Any kind of disrespectful thing - like swiping my ATM card, scratching up my whip and trying to hide it, or doing drugs behind my back - is equally grounds for dismissal. Not cause I am mad, cause I got enough sense to cut it short once I figure out that she is not looking out for my best interests. No hate, just a peace sign.
 

jfkennedy

Best After Bobby
Joined
May 26, 2012
Messages
11,451
Reputation
1,131
Daps
18,745
I wouldn't stay with my husband if he cheated, not worth it IMO. I don't care how well everything else is going because that could all change very quickly.

I'm thinking about this, and then what someone else said up above along the lines of cheating being healthy in a relationship.

The more I think about it, it seems like it could be a good release from the norm and monotony... but then with what you're saying, it could change very quickly and lead to doing more things. It seems like it could spiral out of control easily. I don't think I can get behind that.
 

Sierra Mist

Banned
Joined
May 13, 2012
Messages
21,622
Reputation
-360
Daps
23,059
If you want to play the field then play the field. Too many people want the benefits of both being single and being in a committed relationship. Wanting to have your cake and eat it to. That mentality is exactly what is wrong with our society today. If you both mutually allow each other to date/have sex outside the relationship and it's an agreement that isn't behind each other's back then I could semi respect it.
 
Top