in
Cheesesteak, Eggs, Welch's Grape plus Pancakes - LilNukka Chronicles
- Thread starter PrnzHakeem
- Start date
nikka, you in here posting chapter 5 and I'm barely done working on chapter 1.
Its the only thing i remember about that story,that and the cheesesteak...
The OG blessing us 
by the time i joined in 06, the joke had already been run into the ground about lilnukka and his escapades.
by the time i joined in 06, the joke had already been run into the ground about lilnukka and his escapades.
Sohh sounds like it was a pretty fun place
Back in the SOHH days your bitties and assorted meats would have been immortalized beloved...
I LIKE THIS THREAD KEEP GOING YUNG FELLA
Chapter 1 – Makayla, Red I, and Moesha
Makayla84 was a cool down to earth young lady, we would chat randomly about Philly/Jersey shyt, college shyt, and the goings ons of TLR. All of our interaction was off the boards and strictly on AIM, wasn’t even really flirty I don’t think. And I wasn’t tripping, this was around March 2005 so I was 3 months removed from breakup but my ex and I would hookup randomly, but it was happening less and less frequently. In fact, my ex started dating some local celebrity Neo soul singing Philly nicca.
I was probably regularly talking on the phone to another SOHH chick but that wasn’t going anywhere for various reasons. 
Anyway, back to Makayla. So after a few weeks of us chatting, we decided we’d kick it in Philly. I still didn’t really know what she looked like. I mean, she had posted a picture but it was a scanned picture probably from a disposable camera. So I didn’t really know if she was cute or hideous, I really was just rolling the dice.
Timeout - yall know cameras be lying. shyt, I had a huge “Lilnukka is ugly. This the nikka yall been fukking?” thread made by some random chick based on some bad pictures that were discovered on my friend’s Myspace account.
I was flamed beyond recognition. Someone literally called me a car crash burn victim. 
I’m usually good with the comebacks and insults, but I guess Rodimusprime 
and Stylistik-1 weren’t busy that day. They went in and although I usually could hold my own in the daily royal rumble roast threads we would have, a nicca had no chance. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXHIBITION!! 
The chicks I had been messing with couldn’t even defend me.
I didn’t even fight back, I just let the ether enter my soul and humble me that day. I think I made an appointment with my barber while the thread was still on fire. Not my finest e-day. – Time In
So we meet up….and she’s cute.
Short as hell, damn near a midget but cute. Titties bigger than my head and hers (and she had a big head), a tiny but shapely butt. I wasn’t expecting nothing, but in my mind I was like “I could work with this”. 
What did my no game having ass plan? A movie. 
I don’t even remember what we saw, we went out to eat afterwards and it was a cool day. Jokes and convo were flying, we got to know each other and were both relieved that the other was normal. Like normal normal, not “The Coli” - normal 
We learned that the other was recently single and she appreciated being able to kick it with someone outside her college campus. Me, I was also glad to be kicking it with someone outside my college/alumni circle. End of the “outing” came and it was the moment of truth. Do I go for the kiss even tho there was no prior flirting or body language that would indicate such an attempt would be welcome? If she rejects me, I’d be pissed and would have to 1 star and neg rep her on the boards to oblivion, cuz I don’t play that shyt. 
Do I give her dap like a lame and she thinks im a goofy? I had no clue, so we looked at each other awkwardly 
for a few seconds and I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said we’d hang out again. No harm, no foul. 
We go back to our normal SOHH TLR lives. Still kept our routine of not paying each other any mind on the boards but chopping it up on AIM. One thing I did start to notice was this bytch ass poster, sorry, this poster by the name of
Red “I” following Makayla around on the boards. He came across as one of you social anxiety types, I think he was a superhero character or something and he always stayed in character. 
He would simp her in the very few posts she would make, and I’d be looking at this shyt like 
Then he’d be all in the TLR group chats acting weird. I didn’t care, but the shyt was weird. Anyway, I digress.
In early April 2005 I had a date lined up with a co-worker, named Moesha (not really, but work w me). We had been working together for a minute, became friends,
took a liking to each other 
and her birthday was coming up. Me being the simp that I was at the time, decided I’d take her out to dinner after work. I figured this would be our first step into the more than friends category that we had been avoiding for a few months now. So it’s the day of the date, a nikka came to work extra fresh, had plans made and everything. Makayla texts me, asking if I wanted to hang out later today. I decline cuz I can’t be just hanging out with a female homie when I’m trying to lay the foundation on something that could be fruitful. Work ends, me and Moesha meet in the lobby of our building and start walking through an indoor shopping center on the way to our dinner spot. While walking, she finds a bench and just sits down. She didnt even tell me, I kept walking for a few paces before I noticed. I ask whats up, she says she doesn’t feel good.
Nukka: Aight, well let’s get to dinner. You’re probably just hungry.
Moesha: I dont know, I just want to sit here for a minute. I have cramps.
Nukka: (thinking, wtf is wrong with u?
): What’s wrong? Are you ok? 
Moesha: Why do you like me? I thought we were friends? Why do guys always do this?
Nukka: What do you mean?We are friends but we obviously like each other, you said so yourself…
Moesha: I think we should just be friends. Can you just take me home?
What I wanted to say ----
Nukka: bytch! WTF is wrong with you?
We made plans last week, why you want to cancel now. 
You was talking all that stuff about us getting to know each other. THIS IS US GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. HEIFER YOU HAD ME ON THE PHONE W YA MOMS! What kind of peanut butter and jelly bullshyt is this?
Our “date” lasted all of 5 minutes. WASTE OF MY COTDAYUM TIME. 
(Michael Blackson accent turns on) I CANT GET JIGGY WITH THIS shyt!? YOU MUST THINK IM JUST A BEECH ASS NEEEGA! 
What I actually said ---
Nukka: *Looks at my watch*Ok. Let’s go.
On the outside, I’m trying to stay calm but on the inside I’m all sorts of pissed off. I gotta take yo ass across the bridge, pay tolls and shyt. She obviously think I’m a bytch.
We get in the car and it’s the most awkward car ride ever. She’s thanking me for being understanding and shyt, I’m just saying ok, yeah. I’m in savage mode at this point, so what do I do?
I call Makayla! 
with Moesha sitting next to me.
Nukka: Hey, whats up? I just had some plans fall thru *looks at Moesha*and I’m available to kick it. I’m actually in Jersey too. Text me your address. *hangs up*
Moesha: Damn, like that?
With me right here? That’s foul. 
Me: Yeah, well.
You’ll get over it. Is this your exit? 
I drop her off at her car and head straight to Makayla. 20 minutes later (fukking Jersey) I pull up and realize I’m on a college campus.
I thought I left this shyt behind. Its all sorts of nikkaz just hanging out by the dorms. I step out my car in business attire,
looking mad out of place. Makayla and I spot each other and start walking towards each other. As we get closer I notice she has tights on and a t shirt on, and this was before tights were in. She aint have no ass like that, but still. 
So I’m thinking
Anyway, we head up to her dorm and pass by a bunch of nikkaz hanging out by the entrance.
These nikkaz is wearing Girbaud jeans with the straps, baggy ass jeans w NBA logos, and long ass white and black tees. They see me walking with Makayla in my slacks and dress shirt and shoes, probably thinking im selling Noni Juice or Pre-paid Legal or something. Anyway, I walk by them niccaz wondering which dude is friends with her ex and if I gotta fight someone in my good clothes. In any case, we make it pass them dudes and head up to her suite. Her suitemates are gone. Her roommate is gone. We watching TV, chatting it up, eventually I make my way to her bed and its showtime. So I think of myself as a seducer and shyt cuz my foreplay game is A1. Anyway, I’m putting all my foreplay skills to work on her little ass college twin size bed. 
Clothes getting shed and I whip it out and she’s like:
Makayla: Wow
Nukka: I know right.
*I start making it jump and shyt, being a silly nicca, I start pointing it at her and moving closer to her face thinking she gon bless me w some head*
M: Wait. Stop.
Nukka: *I'm thinking NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. AGAIN! But…I….just…went…thru this…how the fukk…*
M: Let me get some condoms.
Nukka: *thinking - no head tho? What kind of peanut butter and jelly…* “Aight, bet”
I proceeded to unleash all my frustrations of my earlier failed date on her. She had no chance. I pounded her into Bolivia. It was definitely 5 star, positive rep quality dikk game I was giving her. Round 2 was more of the same. I felt redeemed and forgot all about Moesha’s bullshyt by this point. A Nukka was back on the scoreboard. 
So we leave her suite and these franchise boyz looking niccaz still outside.Makayla walks me to my car and I’m getting the
ice grill from these niccaz cuz it was apparent that I wasn’t in there for an hour giving her a Noni Juice presentation.
I get home shower, chill out for rest of day and hop on SOHH later that night. Me and Makayla chopping it up as usual in group chat. But this nicca Red “I” is in there this time, and he still simping , following her like a puppy dog. And she’s playing along with it. I make a mental note and keep it moving.
So a couple days later this known female poster, makes a thread asking about Philly. So naturally I enter. (to be continued in Chapter 2)
Makayla84 was a cool down to earth young lady, we would chat randomly about Philly/Jersey shyt, college shyt, and the goings ons of TLR. All of our interaction was off the boards and strictly on AIM, wasn’t even really flirty I don’t think. And I wasn’t tripping, this was around March 2005 so I was 3 months removed from breakup but my ex and I would hookup randomly, but it was happening less and less frequently. In fact, my ex started dating some local celebrity Neo soul singing Philly nicca.
I was probably regularly talking on the phone to another SOHH chick but that wasn’t going anywhere for various reasons. Anyway, back to Makayla. So after a few weeks of us chatting, we decided we’d kick it in Philly. I still didn’t really know what she looked like. I mean, she had posted a picture but it was a scanned picture probably from a disposable camera. So I didn’t really know if she was cute or hideous, I really was just rolling the dice.Timeout - yall know cameras be lying. shyt, I had a huge “Lilnukka is ugly. This the nikka yall been fukking?” thread made by some random chick based on some bad pictures that were discovered on my friend’s Myspace account.
I was flamed beyond recognition. Someone literally called me a car crash burn victim. I’m usually good with the comebacks and insults, but I guess Rodimusprime and Stylistik-1 weren’t busy that day. They went in and although I usually could hold my own in the daily royal rumble roast threads we would have, a nicca had no chance. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXHIBITION!! The chicks I had been messing with couldn’t even defend me. I didn’t even fight back, I just let the ether enter my soul and humble me that day. I think I made an appointment with my barber while the thread was still on fire. Not my finest e-day. – Time InSo we meet up….and she’s cute.
Short as hell, damn near a midget but cute. Titties bigger than my head and hers (and she had a big head), a tiny but shapely butt. I wasn’t expecting nothing, but in my mind I was like “I could work with this”. What did my no game having ass plan? A movie. I don’t even remember what we saw, we went out to eat afterwards and it was a cool day. Jokes and convo were flying, we got to know each other and were both relieved that the other was normal. Like normal normal, not “The Coli” - normal We learned that the other was recently single and she appreciated being able to kick it with someone outside her college campus. Me, I was also glad to be kicking it with someone outside my college/alumni circle. End of the “outing” came and it was the moment of truth. Do I go for the kiss even tho there was no prior flirting or body language that would indicate such an attempt would be welcome? If she rejects me, I’d be pissed and would have to 1 star and neg rep her on the boards to oblivion, cuz I don’t play that shyt. Do I give her dap like a lame and she thinks im a goofy? I had no clue, so we looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds and I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said we’d hang out again. No harm, no foul. We go back to our normal SOHH TLR lives. Still kept our routine of not paying each other any mind on the boards but chopping it up on AIM. One thing I did start to notice was this bytch ass poster, sorry, this poster by the name of
Red “I” following Makayla around on the boards. He came across as one of you social anxiety types, I think he was a superhero character or something and he always stayed in character. He would simp her in the very few posts she would make, and I’d be looking at this shyt like Then he’d be all in the TLR group chats acting weird. I didn’t care, but the shyt was weird. Anyway, I digress.In early April 2005 I had a date lined up with a co-worker, named Moesha (not really, but work w me). We had been working together for a minute, became friends,
took a liking to each other and her birthday was coming up. Me being the simp that I was at the time, decided I’d take her out to dinner after work. I figured this would be our first step into the more than friends category that we had been avoiding for a few months now. So it’s the day of the date, a nikka came to work extra fresh, had plans made and everything. Makayla texts me, asking if I wanted to hang out later today. I decline cuz I can’t be just hanging out with a female homie when I’m trying to lay the foundation on something that could be fruitful. Work ends, me and Moesha meet in the lobby of our building and start walking through an indoor shopping center on the way to our dinner spot. While walking, she finds a bench and just sits down. She didnt even tell me, I kept walking for a few paces before I noticed. I ask whats up, she says she doesn’t feel good.Nukka: Aight, well let’s get to dinner. You’re probably just hungry.
Moesha: I dont know, I just want to sit here for a minute. I have cramps.
Nukka: (thinking, wtf is wrong with u?
): What’s wrong? Are you ok? Moesha: Why do you like me? I thought we were friends? Why do guys always do this?
Nukka: What do you mean?
We are friends but we obviously like each other, you said so yourself…Moesha: I think we should just be friends. Can you just take me home?
What I wanted to say ----
Nukka: bytch! WTF is wrong with you?
We made plans last week, why you want to cancel now. You was talking all that stuff about us getting to know each other. THIS IS US GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. HEIFER YOU HAD ME ON THE PHONE W YA MOMS! What kind of peanut butter and jelly bullshyt is this? Our “date” lasted all of 5 minutes. WASTE OF MY COTDAYUM TIME. (Michael Blackson accent turns on) I CANT GET JIGGY WITH THIS shyt!? YOU MUST THINK IM JUST A BEECH ASS NEEEGA! What I actually said ---
Nukka: *Looks at my watch*Ok. Let’s go.
On the outside, I’m trying to stay calm but on the inside I’m all sorts of pissed off. I gotta take yo ass across the bridge, pay tolls and shyt. She obviously think I’m a bytch.
We get in the car and it’s the most awkward car ride ever. She’s thanking me for being understanding and shyt, I’m just saying ok, yeah. I’m in savage mode at this point, so what do I do?
I call Makayla! with Moesha sitting next to me.Nukka: Hey, whats up? I just had some plans fall thru *looks at Moesha*
and I’m available to kick it. I’m actually in Jersey too. Text me your address. *hangs up*Moesha: Damn, like that?
With me right here? That’s foul. Me: Yeah, well.
You’ll get over it. Is this your exit? I drop her off at her car and head straight to Makayla. 20 minutes later (fukking Jersey) I pull up and realize I’m on a college campus.
I thought I left this shyt behind. Its all sorts of nikkaz just hanging out by the dorms. I step out my car in business attire, looking mad out of place. Makayla and I spot each other and start walking towards each other. As we get closer I notice she has tights on and a t shirt on, and this was before tights were in. She aint have no ass like that, but still. So I’m thinkingAnyway, we head up to her dorm and pass by a bunch of nikkaz hanging out by the entrance.
These nikkaz is wearing Girbaud jeans with the straps, baggy ass jeans w NBA logos, and long ass white and black tees. They see me walking with Makayla in my slacks and dress shirt and shoes, probably thinking im selling Noni Juice or Pre-paid Legal or something. Anyway, I walk by them niccaz wondering which dude is friends with her ex and if I gotta fight someone in my good clothes. In any case, we make it pass them dudes and head up to her suite. Her suitemates are gone. Her roommate is gone. We watching TV, chatting it up, eventually I make my way to her bed and its showtime. So I think of myself as a seducer and shyt cuz my foreplay game is A1. Anyway, I’m putting all my foreplay skills to work on her little ass college twin size bed. Clothes getting shed and I whip it out and she’s like:Makayla: Wow
Nukka: I know right.
*I start making it jump and shyt, being a silly nicca, I start pointing it at her and moving closer to her face thinking she gon bless me w some head*M: Wait. Stop.
Nukka: *I'm thinking NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. AGAIN! But…I….just…went…thru this…how the fukk…*
M: Let me get some condoms.
Nukka: *thinking - no head tho? What kind of peanut butter and jelly…* “Aight, bet”
I proceeded to unleash all my frustrations of my earlier failed date on her.
She had no chance. I pounded her into Bolivia. It was definitely 5 star, positive rep quality dikk game I was giving her. Round 2 was more of the same. I felt redeemed and forgot all about Moesha’s bullshyt by this point. A Nukka was back on the scoreboard. So we leave her suite and these franchise boyz looking niccaz still outside.Makayla walks me to my car and I’m getting the
ice grill from these niccaz cuz it was apparent that I wasn’t in there for an hour giving her a Noni Juice presentation. I get home shower, chill out for rest of day and hop on SOHH later that night. Me and Makayla chopping it up as usual in group chat. But this nicca Red “I” is in there this time, and he still simping , following her like a puppy dog. And she’s playing along with it. I make a mental note and keep it moving.So a couple days later this known female poster, makes a thread asking about Philly. So naturally I enter. (to be continued in Chapter 2)
eaten alive as in cuffed? it was a much more chill environment on there, conducive for hookups.
No not cuffed, just hearing about some of the mess. I was more naive back then.
