Coli - let's help the kids.

[Taadow]

(You can skip to the bolded for the exercise.)

So I was getting my oil changed today, and one of the magazines in the waiting area was Highlights.
I'm like "oh snap - I ain't seen one of these in forever..."
I noticed there was a section in there where the kids asked the folks at Highlights for advice.
I'm not quite sure the awnsers were as real as the kids need. So:

In this thread I will submit some problems that some of the young'uns are dealing with,
and let's see if we can help.

1. "I like reading Horror Books a lot, but whenever I do I get scared and have bad dreams.
What can I do?

2. "There's a girl that's homeschooled through our district. Whenever she comes to school,
she's always getting awards and stuff. She seems nice, but I guess my friends and I are kinda
jealous of her. Is that wrong?"

3. "My dad owns a company and he always has me at his office. I think he thinks i'm excited to be
there like he is, but it's actually pretty boring for me. How can I find ways to have some fun there?

4. "I'm getting older so it feels weird calling Mom and Dad "Mommy and Daddy" like I used to.
I started going with "Mom and Dad" and Dad doesn't mind - but Mom insists I call her "Mommy" and Dad
"Daddy". Is there a way I can change her mind?

Go.

 

[Dwolf]

(You can skip to the bolded for the exercise.)

So I was getting my oil changed today, and one of the magazines in the waiting area was Highlights.
I'm like "oh snap - I ain't seen one of these in forever..."
I noticed there was a section in there where the kids asked the folks at Highlights for advice.
I'm not quite sure the awnsers were as real as the kids need. So:

In this thread I will submit some problems that some of the young'uns are dealing with,
and let's see if we can help.

1. "I like reading Horror Books a lot, but whenever I do I get scared and have bad dreams.
What can I do?

2. "There's a girl that's homeschooled through our district. Whenever she comes to school,
she's always getting awards and stuff. She seems nice, but I guess my friends and I are kinda
jealous of her. Is that wrong?"

3. "My dad owns a company and he always has me at his office. I think he thinks i'm excited to be
there like he is, but it's actually pretty boring for me. How can I find ways to have some fun there?

4. "I'm getting older so it feels weird calling Mom and Dad "Mommy and Daddy" like I used to.
I started going with "Mom and Dad" and Dad doesn't mind - but Mom insists I call her "Mommy" and Dad
"Daddy". Is there a way I can change her mind?

Go.

1. Stop reading horrors books dumbass.

2. Stop hating

3. Lil nikka stop complaining and pay attention, he trying to put you on to some knowledge.

4. Call em that in private. In public its Mom and Dad.

 

[Motife43]

1-4

Stop being a bytch nikka

 

[Taadow]

1. Duuh, stop reading the books. Or else if you scared, go to church 'cause the remix hurts.

2. Yeah it's wrong, quit being a hatin'-ass bytch. Step yo' game up and maybe you can win some chit.
And stop ridin' wit' haters. If you rocks wit' 4 haters, you will be the 5th, real talk.

3. Think about how your pop being there gets brizzead so you can eat and have a place to live
and shoes on your feet. Fucc is wrong wit' you kids nowadays? Matter fact, you could learn what your
pops is doing so you can have skills in the future. Get certed out.

4. Aight, ya moms is a weirdo yo. Is she from The South? Anyway, she prolly your dad in check
if he ain't told her to STFU with that needy chit. Anyway, she sound like she wanna keep you a kid
your whole life. If you wanna get some sex in the future, you're gonna have to nip that weak chit in
the bud, my nicca. I'll admit this is a touchy subject, doe...tell her something like "Ayo 'mommy' -
that chit is mad corny, yo. You got some issues with Grandma or something?" That way it reverses
the game and makes her consider whether or not she got some PTSD from some chit that happened
in '79 that she needs to address. I think it's cool you're trying to let her down easy, though. You aight...

 

[ADK]

TLDR fukk da kids. Help the teens.

 

[Remote]

@ the responses.

I guess Wu Tang is for the children, but the coli isn't.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

(You can skip to the bolded for the exercise.)

.

Pos rep just for this. Some of y'all be writing titanographs

 

[Taadow]

@ the responses.

I guess Wu Tang is for the children, but the coli isn't.

This is what they need to hear...

 

[The 2020 New Member]

1. "I like reading Horror Books a lot, but whenever I do I get scared and have bad dreams.
What can I do?

This is an easy one. Everybody gets scared sometimes! It's a normal reaction and it means that the books you are reading must be really spooky. They are doing their job, for sure. Ha! In order to stop the nightmares, I suggest never going to sleep again because if you die in your dreams you die in real life. You can read-- which is a hell of a lot more than all of the unborn children in this country got to accomplish-- so I think it's safe to say that you had a good run. You're probably too young for this reference but fudge it! What the heck..."How do you want your Tombstone?". You're all waaaay too young to really be missed, btw. History won't remember you, the kid that believed fiction was real. FOH.

2. "There's a girl that's homeschooled through our district. Whenever she comes to school,
she's always getting awards and stuff. She seems nice, but I guess my friends and I are kinda
jealous of her. Is that wrong?"

It's not wrong at all, Elizabeth and thanks for this question! This is good common knowledge that anyone can find handy in a pickle. It's natural for idiots to be jealous of people that are smarter than them. Considering this woman will cook for the man who employs you one day, I would try to frame Carol as a lesbo and use that as a trump card when shyt hits the fan. shyt always inevitably hits the fan. It sounds funny when you imagine it but in reality poop gets all over the place. I sense some remorse in your letter which leads me to believe that you are the ugly one among your 'friends'.

3. "My dad owns a company and he always has me at his office. I think he thinks i'm excited to be
there like he is, but it's actually pretty boring for me. How can I find ways to have some fun there?

First of all, a medium sized storage unit barely qualifies as an office. It's called divorce and YES, despite his far fetched excuses, he does live there. Second, I know your dad doesn't own a company because if he did you would have a smart phone like the rest of your worthless generation. I think you need to focus less on fun and be more about how you are living in denial. Poverty is a real issue that effects A LOT of people, especially children. I believe it's 1 and 5 that go hungry. Sadly, you probably cannot or will not pursue psychological treatment. This is your plight. All you can do is go on to tell tales of a black male misunderstood and, I assure you, it will still most certainly be all good.

4. "I'm getting older so it feels weird calling Mom and Dad "Mommy and Daddy" like I used to.
I started going with "Mom and Dad" and Dad doesn't mind - but Mom insists I call her "Mommy" and Dad
"Daddy". Is there a way I can change her mind?

My parents are very dead and I can't believe your Mother and Father (hint, hint!...names you could try calling them...) didn't teach you any manners. You're clearly a harlot to be. That's my prediction. You seem like the type to be a whore to spite your nice upbringing which is incredibly inconsiderate when you parents fed you, clothed you, and got a subscription to Highlights fukking Magazine. You are likely going to be calling some man daddy eventually, so how's about a warm-up.

And all of you should meditate on your own mortality.