Coli pimpettes - put me on game about boundaries

Music Fiend

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I'm a relationship challenged nikka who's got a good heart but I ain't shyt sometimes. I have this tendency to point out of being critical which is no bueno. But shyt ppl do irks me especially when it comes to boundaries.

Why have boundaries if you dont want to live the lifestyle that boundary suggests. You can't have the cake and eat it too.:what:



explain to me why some women think they can remove aspects of an interaction/relationship and things not change?

I told y'all about my last ex who was a virgin waiting until marriage to have sex; But I made sure she knew staying the night and sleeping over was out the question. I asked her to leave one night and she cried and claimed I'm an a$$hole :ohhh:


newest chick I'm talking to I see potential with she's made this boundary of wanting to be in a committed relationship before we have sex again. I told her that it was okay but she can't spend the night anymore either. I'm still getting to know her...

This chick flipped tf out saying she knew I was playing her and I'm just like all the others.... Tf brehettes. Help me out, am I wrong?
 
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Music Fiend

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I'm almost 24 but these last two are 21 and 22.

I'm listening tho. You're right, they both wanted me to commit. My thing is if you want a relstionship without actual sex, then we shouldn't be doing things that people in relationships that have sex do. You can't be mad at me getting frustrated and trying to fukk because it's not my boundary for one, and for two, you aren't communicating it the way you wanna move.

That's like me saying I don't want a relationship and then having a chick at my place all the time spending the night, and doing all the things I'd do with a gf. Regardless of the spoken claim that would be a relationship. Even if we don't share titles.
 

Music Fiend

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Also my cousin's chick also gave him a boundary about his friends.... She doesn't like him hanging with some of our circle... and said that if they are around she doesn't wanna come. So now we're out tonight... and shes throwing a fit because we're all iat a huge concert festival and he bought his own ticket and went himself without her cuz she can't stand some of the people there....

I dont get it man.
 

Oceanicpuppy

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I'm a relationship challenged nikka who's got a good heart but I ain't shyt sometimes. I have this tendency to point out of being critical which is no bueno. But shyt ppl do irks me especially when it comes to boundaries.

Why have boundaries if you dont want to live the lifestyle that boundary suggests. You can't have the cake and eat it too.:what:



explain to me why some women think they can remove aspects of an interaction/relationship and things not change?

I told y'all about my last ex who was a virgin waiting until marriage to have sex; But I made sure she knew staying the night and sleeping over was out the question. I asked her to leave one night and she cried and claimed I'm an a$$hole :ohhh:


newest chick I'm talking to I see potential with she's made this boundary of wanting to be in a committed relationship before we have sex again. I told her that it was okay but she can't spend the night anymore either. I'm still getting to know her...

This chick flipped tf out saying she knew I was playing her and I'm just like all the others.... Tf brehettes. Help me out, am I wrong?
You don't have enough self control to not whip your dikk out?
 

CinnaSlim

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I'm almost 24 but these last two are 21 and 22.

I'm listening tho. You're right, they both wanted me to commit. My thing is if you want a relstionship without actual sex, then we shouldn't be doing things that people in relationships that have sex do. You can't be mad at me getting frustrated and trying to fukk because it's not my boundary for one, and for two, you aren't communicating it the way you wanna move.

That's like me saying I don't want a relationship and then having a chick at my place all the time spending the night, and doing all the things I'd do with a gf. Regardless of the spoken claim that would be a relationship. Even if we don't share titles.
Theyre young, Imma chuck it up to that.
I've had that experience with dudes. Where they say they don't want a relationship or they never define the relationship, but then they treat it as one. That's why communication is important. Make your intentions clear. The issue is you both have different expectations.

Does your cousin's chick go out with her own friends? Does she have friends of her own?
 

Music Fiend

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You don't have enough self control to not whip your dikk out?

I do. But why should I be forced to not be in a situation I do not want to be in? That's why I am asking if I'm wrong here. I don't think its a selfish request. If I'm being 100 with myself.. I know I want to fukk. So me acting like I'm okay with not fukkin to me is being fake. I dont wanna start a pattern of something I already know I do not want. Then it becomes an expectation like with my ex.
 

CinnaSlim

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I do. But why should I be forced to not be in a situation I do not want to be in? That's why I am asking if I'm wrong here. I don't think its a selfish request. If I'm being 100 with myself.. I know I want to fukk. So me acting like I'm okay with not fukkin to me is being fake. I dont wanna start a pattern of something I already know I do not want. Then it becomes an expectation like with my ex.
Your delivery probably sucks lol. Are you a blunt talker? Like, you don't sugarcoat your words?
 

Music Fiend

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she had sex with you, then cut you off until yall are in a relationship?

Yes, only known her for a few weeks, but I escalated it and we smashed a few times and stayed over a couple times the folowing the week. Now she's holding out. Which I'm not mad at... but I'm not 100% sold on the relationship yet as things were going great until this IMO.

Theyre young, Imma chuck it up to that.
I've had that experience with dudes. Where they say they don't want a relationship or they never define the relationship, but then they treat it as one. That's why communication is important. Make your intentions clear. The issue is you both have different expectations.

Does your cousin's chick go out with her own friends? Does she have friends of her own?
Thx Slim. I've done it before too and I'm nto great at communicating but I told both of these women I want to be with them eventually, but I didn't want to get into something until I was sure we agreed on a way to make it work so I'm happy and they are happy. Just feels like they want to be happy and I'm supposed to just put aside my own happiness and desires to do it
 

CinnaSlim

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Yes, only known her for a few weeks, but I escalated it and we smashed a few times and stayed over a couple times the folowing the week. Now she's holding out. Which I'm not mad at... but I'm not 100% sold on the relationship yet as things were going great until this IMO.


Thx Slim. I've done it before too and I'm nto great at communicating but I told both of these women I want to be with them eventually, but I didn't want to get into something until I was sure we agreed on a way to make it work so I'm happy and they are happy. Just feels like they want to be happy and I'm supposed to just put aside my own happiness and desires to do it
Life and relationships is about compromise. What you're saying is smart. Because you'll eventual try something and it could go either way. She'll give in and maybe be mad at herself or she'll get mad at you for being horny because she's in your bed, spooning and backing that thang on you lol. She doesn't see it that way because you're just supposed to be a gentleman like the guys in the movies and Twilight books.

:snoop: I'm the worst this world has to offer :pachaha:

Wayyyy to blunt.
I figured :russ: I know a couple brehs like that but at least you are open to trying to see what you are doing wrong. Other guys are just like, why she mad? I told her the truth... :rudy: They don't realize the way you say stuff can be the problem.

You just gotta turn everything into a compliment. Like tell her, you enjoy having her stay the night but you are just so attracted to her that her being in your bed is gonna be too much temptation. And it's better for you both if that doesn't happen while you are trying to get to know eachother.

Tell her you listened to her and are trying to respect her wishes.
 

Bless't

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:snoop: I'm the worst this world has to offer :pachaha:

Wayyyy to blunt.
I suffer from this as well sometimes. But you know what, when I'm honest it's, "you're such an a$$hole!"

And I have all the couth in the god damn world. Saying that...

When I kick back, chill and let things ride it's, "you don't care enough. Why aren't you giving more?"

Such is life breh... Such is life.

Music, movies, some trees here and there, some vodka, my cat and dog...

I'm good.

:yeshrug:
 
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