Coparenting in a different state from where your kids live...

[murksiderock]

Millions of people do this, and while its a challenge, there are success stories. I have known people who do this, and a few where its worked out really well for all parties involved...

I've never not lived in the same state with my children (3 girls, ages 8, soon-to-be 7, and soon-to-be 4). Reaching a point where I have a decision to be made before my lease ends in April, and I'm closer to that decision by the week, for several reasons...

The reason I've stayed in Raleigh is because my kids are here, and in truth, I do like it here. But there is a real opportunity for me to level up financially elsewhere and I'm thinking of taking it...

Anybody here who has coparented from a different state, please tell me your experiences and advice for me!

 

[DaddyFresh]

She can have them kids at that point lol. Coparenting is difficult enough. But a diff state? Sheesh. Couldn't be me.

 

[All Knowledge]

She can have them kids at that point lol. Coparenting is difficult enough. But a diff state? Sheesh. Couldn't be me.

Same here, either give custody to me and get the fukk, or take em and leave to wherever -shyt gotta be a headache and take years off your life.

Start some new shyt if ya'll love kids so much

 

[murksiderock]

These are terrible posts but I get where yall coming from. This is why I asked if anyone here has done it...

I'm not "unhappy" in Raleigh, but my earning potential is limited if I choose to stay. And there's obviously a correlation between what I can make, and the luxury of what I can provide for my kids (not to mention myself)...

 

[Towlie]

These are terrible posts but I get where yall coming from. This is why I asked if anyone here has done it...

I'm not "unhappy" in Raleigh, but my earning potential is limited if I choose to stay. And there's obviously a correlation between what I can make, and the luxury of what I can provide for my kids (not to mention myself)...

I guess you have to factor in where you would potentially move and how often you wanna go back and see the girls .

Me personally I wouldn't do it, but if you feel like Raleigh is holding you back and you can't reach your financial goals there then...

 

[Yinny]

So are you going to take the kid whose mom is dealing with cancer or no?

 

[murksiderock]

I guess you have to factor in where you would potentially move and how often you wanna go back and see the girls .

Me personally I wouldn't do it, but if you feel like Raleigh is holding you back and you can't reach your financial goals there then...

That's a major thing, is I think I've hit a ceiling here...

My oldest girls' mom and i are in ongoing custody talks, I think there will be accomodation for me to come see the girls. My youngest daughter's mom would definitely be fine with arranging how I can get my girl...

So are you going to take the kid whose mom is dealing with cancer or no?

I wanna see how she recovers, because ultimately her condition weighs on my decision, too...

Currently, she begins chemo and radiation next week, for 5 weeks, and after that, the goal is surgery to get the shyt outta her...

I'm expecting her to make a full recovery, so in that case, I won't take my child...

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Respectfully, it sounds like to me you looking for justification to bounce and do what you wanna do.

Me personally. Being a father. Ain’t no way imma be in another state not seeing my son for weeks at a time. I coparent. I wanna move but not until my son is old enough (15 years old and up). Basically it boils down to what’s your priorities. Money/moving to a “fun” city. Or being an ACTIVE father. It takes more than money to raise a child. And active to me don’t mean FaceTime, phone call, sliding through once a month, etc,. You get the picture.

Whatever decision you make there’s a price to pay. I hope you make one you won’t regret brother.

 

[Reptile]

Respectfully, it sounds like to me you looking for justification to bounce and do what you wanna do.

Me personally. Being a father. Ain’t no way imma be in another state not seeing my son for weeks at a time. I coparent. I wanna move but not until my son is old enough (15 years old and up). Basically it boils down to what’s your priorities. Money/moving to a “fun” city. Or being an ACTIVE father. It takes more than money to raise a child. And active to me don’t mean FaceTime, phone call, sliding through once a month, etc,. You get the picture.

Whatever decision you make there’s a price to pay. I hope you make one you won’t regret brother.

Why the fukk did I read this in Daniel's voice? Especially "whatever decision you make theres a price to pay" that shyt sounded ominous as fukk.

 

[MajesticLion]

"Level up financially" in place. Cut your spending by 20%.



The money isn't the point.

 

[murksiderock]

Respectfully, it sounds like to me you looking for justification to bounce and do what you wanna do.

Me personally. Being a father. Ain’t no way imma be in another state not seeing my son for weeks at a time. I coparent. I wanna move but not until my son is old enough (15 years old and up). Basically it boils down to what’s your priorities. Money/moving to a “fun” city. Or being an ACTIVE father. It takes more than money to raise a child. And active to me don’t mean FaceTime, phone call, sliding through once a month, etc,. You get the picture.

Whatever decision you make there’s a price to pay. I hope you make one you won’t regret brother.

Respect your point of view, it isn't mine, though. I know exactly what being an active father means...

I already do what I want to do, and I have plenty of fun in Raleigh. Those aren't reasons I'm looking to move, and if it was that simplistic, I woulda been left; I just said that I've always been in same city/state as my kids, and my oldest is 8. So thats 8½ years of staying in place...

 

[Swirv]

Millions of people do this, and while its a challenge, there are success stories. I have known people who do this, and a few where its worked out really well for all parties involved...

I've never not lived in the same state with my children (3 girls, ages 8, soon-to-be 7, and soon-to-be 4). Reaching a point where I have a decision to be made before my lease ends in April, and I'm closer to that decision by the week, for several reasons...

The reason I've stayed in Raleigh is because my kids are here, and in truth, I do like it here. But there is a real opportunity for me to level up financially elsewhere and I'm thinking of taking it...

Anybody here who has coparented from a different state, please tell me your experiences and advice for me!

How often do you see your girls during the week?

 

[murksiderock]

How often do you see your girls during the week?

My youngest lives an hour from me, so I don't typically see her during the week; I see her Fridays thru Sunday...

My two oldest live across town from me, and I typically only see them, maybe once a week. Mostly its weekends even thiugh we are in the same city...

 

[The BasedFather]

I know someone who does this. The mom took his son down to Florida. He flies down there and brings his son back here for periods of time. Breh be going thru it with court and child support


He met a new chick here and had another kid with her. His BM is jealous that he doesn’t want her anymore and tries to make his life hell smh

 

[Swirv]

My youngest lives an hour from me, so I don't typically see her during the week; I see her Fridays thru Sunday...

My two oldest live across town from me, and I typically only see them, maybe once a week. Mostly its weekends even thiugh we are in the same city...

So that’s all done if you move to Denver. This is one of those real problems with no easy solution.

I lived one state over from my son before and I would see him on weekends, but moving across country is something else entirely.

How would you manage the lack of quality time? Can you deal with the consequences of not being there?