Fiji Water
Every moment is an opportunity
The world is JBO. 
Decided to save money by buying a sex toy off Amazon
- Thread starter The Jewnited States
- Start date
MajesticLion
Veteran
You thought.
ucanthandlethetruth
Failure is not a option
Go back to spending the money on the hoes. If buying p*ssy is rock bottom then fukking a coffee mug is the hell below breh.Couple weeks ago I decided that I should start saving more money, and stop blowing it on crazy shyt. I wasn't going too crazy but I ended up hitting a few escorts/hookers off of bedpage.com in one hazy and crazy week before I started my new job.I wasn't even going for the high end ones, I was sticking to bargain bin whores. Always a little too old, too fat, or too ugly to command top dollar. Still adds up real quick.
So in my infinite wisdom, I decided that I would save myself some money by making the leap into the world of sex toys. I've used some with the females I've messed with, but I've never looked into toys for men. Decided to see whats good on Amazon:
LINK:
That shows up as the #1 seller and I see that over 9000 of them got sold just LAST MONTH.Okay, rating is above 4 with many thousands of reviews. I ordered one thinking it's gotta be better than my hand right? shyt got like 7 modes and all kinds of features.
The thing comes a few days later and get ready to try it. Charge it up, wash it out, put some lube in it. . I go to put my dikk in it and that shyt is sore as fukk. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong? Read the instructions, watch the videos on the reviews and sure enough I'm using it correctly. The opening hole is just SMALL AS fukk. I put more lube on it and shove my joint in there as far as I can and turn it on. Muthafukking thing is moving at a snails pace, can't turn properly, can't go up and down, shyt is just wack. I pull my joint out and it speeds up to full motion.I look at where this thing is made: China. SMH. should have known the sizing was gonna run small. I'm above average but I'm not porn star status. Thing is a waste of fukking money, haven't used it since.
The Jewnited States
Superstar
KingsOfKings
🍩 Donuts 🍩
OP i might be one of the ugliest motherfukkers in flyover country
which means if i can find a partner so can you
i would think yall would know better than to be putting your dikks inside of robots, especially this close to the singularity. yall thought #metoo was bad... wait until the fleshlights can complain.
which means if i can find a partner so can you
i would think yall would know better than to be putting your dikks inside of robots, especially this close to the singularity. yall thought #metoo was bad... wait until the fleshlights can complain.
Kiyoshi-Dono
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feelosofer
#ninergang
It looks like a modified coffee thermos. No. Wait. That is a modified coffee thermos.
This is why Jeff Bezos is a billionaire. High level scamming.
This is why Jeff Bezos is a billionaire. High level scamming.
Uchiha God
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IsThatBrothaMouzone?
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Old neighbor was a professional escort for years and she used to tell me about the Dallas scene. Shyt was fascinating.These women were a few notches above the street walker variety of prostitute. They had all their teeth and no open sores
She had all kinds of dudes coming to her crib. Lucky for her, everyone around us worked in-office Mon to Fri, so hardly anyone was there to see the foot traffic during the day.
She said it was a buyers market here because there were sooooo many heauxs at every price point with different races/looks. Less like a puzzy cartel and more like true capitalist competition.
