(All that pretty much has almost nothing to do with the story, but I'm just setting the stage. Bear with me. And I thought it would be funny to write it in like old English but I ain't that smart, so I'll continue regular lmao)
So after I was fcking with this big booty bytch for awhile, I ended up getting a girlfriend.
But Me and old big booty bytch still was cool and basically stayed good friends.
I even plugged my homeboy with her and got him some p*ssy. She really didn't give a fck and I like that.
So she would hit me up and tell me about all the nikkaz trying to fck her. Some married nikkaz, some higher up nikkaz, And some nikkaz everybody think was religious good guys. The sht was funny cause she never lied and always had receipts.
Anyway, there was this clique of nikkaz that was there before me and my nikkaz got there. They was cool. Big tall basketball playing nikkaz. All them like 6'5 - 6'6 ass nikkaz.
They had bytches, we had bytches. They smoked and drink, we did the same. They was real nikkaz. So we would all hang out together.
So my big booty bytch hits me one day and she's talkin with a serious ass tone. Like she really gotta tell me something.
She asked if I know "Rizz" (names have been changed to protect MFers)
I'm like "yea, the big diesel, 6'5 ass nikka that be with such and such"
She like yea.
She like the nikka been trying to fck for a min and she finally gave in. He comes thru and he pulls his joint out and it's like super small.
I literally don't give a fck, and for some reason I kinda don't believe her cause this nikka is like a giant. I'm a regular height/weight dude and bro towers over me and most people. So ain't no way this nikkaz got a small johnson
Shes like "babe, this nikkaz joint is like the size of a pinky"
I Can't front...now she got my attention lol
I'm like "a pinky?"
She's like "a fckin pinky"
She's says I know she wouldn't lie and she really wanted to fck old boy.
So she bent over to let him hit and because of all that unmitigated ass, he couldn't really get in. So she laid on her back to help out and it really wasn't staying in. she couldn't feel anything.
I'm like... Smh "damn".
She tells me not to tell anybody. Im like cool. Sht is madd surprising but it ain't really a big deal to me (no pun intended).
But of course I had to tell somebody. Lol
So I told my close homie at the time, P Money. He's a silly ass nikka so hes crying laughing.
I tell he don't tell anybody tho.
Ok so... fast forward like a few weeks.
It's me and my nikkaz, hanging with that whole tall crew and some chix. Probably like 15 of us.
All having a good time, smoking and drinking.
My nikka P money is clowing around with the chix, talking about his dikk madd big and he could swing it and knock them out or some stupid sht like that. Everybody is laughing being silly and sht.
So the nikka Rizz, gets up Infront of everybody and starts talking about how he has a little dikk and bytches hate his dikk.
And everybody is hysterically laughing. They thinking this a comedy bit. nikka just cracking joke or something.
Me and P money look at each other like
"da fck"
And the Rizz nikka doesn't stop..he just kept going on and on about how little his dikk is.
After awhile of him ranting, This sht don't even feel like real life anymore.
The laughter has died down.
The nikka has literally scared the hoez.
They like "hey, y'all. We had a good time but we gotta get going"
1 of the shorties 4real gave me a hug and was like "yo, what's up wit old boy".
So that's the story. I have a saying on here about I know an anxiety attack when I see one.
That was one of those moments. I ain't never forget that energy.
I really thought old boy was gonna off himself later that night
