As someone who lives in the UK and someone who does not swirl, I feel as though I can respond to this honestly.
I don't think people like Umar do a good enough job of challenging these women and probing their history when it comes to this matter. It is always a case of "successful brothers, you need to step up" without considering the possibility that they were not interested when successful brothers approached them.
I will never forget getting called a scrub by a sister, only for her to get all sheepish when she found out we were on the same course.
The reality is when you put a lot of black people in a white environment, some feel as though associating with other black people will make their blackness stand out.
The results aren't always as extreme as being called a scrub. Sometimes, it is a matter of the person being more distant with you. Closing down conversations etc.
They find "consciousness" in their 30s and want to settle down with a successful brother, only they have more competition. They end up dealing with a brother who is being aggressively pursued and has access to younger women.
The focus should be placed on questioning the decisions made in her younger years, being realistic about her situation, and advising younger women to recognise potential so that they can secure their partner before the competition is high.
I don't think people like Umar do a good enough job of challenging these women and probing their history when it comes to this matter. It is always a case of "successful brothers, you need to step up" without considering the possibility that they were not interested when successful brothers approached them.
I will never forget getting called a scrub by a sister, only for her to get all sheepish when she found out we were on the same course.
The reality is when you put a lot of black people in a white environment, some feel as though associating with other black people will make their blackness stand out.
The results aren't always as extreme as being called a scrub. Sometimes, it is a matter of the person being more distant with you. Closing down conversations etc.
They find "consciousness" in their 30s and want to settle down with a successful brother, only they have more competition. They end up dealing with a brother who is being aggressively pursued and has access to younger women.
The focus should be placed on questioning the decisions made in her younger years, being realistic about her situation, and advising younger women to recognise potential so that they can secure their partner before the competition is high.
