Emotional discipline and holding your tongue is the path to respect

[NotaPAWG]

discerning when to show emotional weakness is important in terms of how to allow someone to treat and respect you. if you show it at the wrong time, the other person will you see you as lacking self discipline and control and wont respect you. they will pounce on it and use it to treat you bad in anger. but if you stay quiet, dont fall into their trap and show that they dont have the power to control your emotions or blame you for their own lack of discipline..you are taking away that power they feed off of that fuels their ego, makes them prideful & continue their behavior. in return they will show you respect as you prove you are emotionally and mentally strong, not weak and cant be controlled.

“i did _ because you did __” by having self discipline, you take that away from them them, give them no room or way to rationalize their behavior as your fault..

keep your head high, dont react and keep it moving.

the importance of self control and discipline isnt just for your own sake but for another as well. sometimes explaining to a person how their behavior is a problem isnt enough. you have to sit by and allow them to fall on their own sword during their period of emotional instability to be able to reflect on their bullshyt and then theyll come to you

this is especially important for men, but definitely valuable for women, as well.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

discerning when to show emotional weakness is important in terms of how to allow someone to treat and respect you. if you show it at the wrong time, the other person will you see you as lacking self discipline and control and wont respect you. they will pounce on it and use it to treat you bad in anger. but if you stay quiet, dont fall into their trap and show that they dont have the power to control your emotions or blame you for their own lack of discipline..you are taking away that power they feed off of that fuels their ego, makes them prideful & continue their behavior. in return they will show you respect as you prove you are emotionally and mentally strong, not weak and cant be controlled.

“i did _ because you did __” by having self discipline, you take that away from them them, give them no room or way to rationalize their behavior as your fault..

keep your head high, dont react and keep it moving.

the importance of self control and discipline isnt just for your own sake but for another as well. sometimes explaining to a person how their behavior is a problem isnt enough. you have to sit by and allow them to fall on their own sword during their period of emotional instability to be able to reflect on their bullshyt and then theyll come to you

this is especially important for men, but definitely valuable for women, as well.

Or sometimes they continue the disrespect, because you allow it, and put up with it. There needs to be a balance between conducting yourself with dignity, and letting people know you don't tolerate disrespect. Pick your battles.

 

[NotaPAWG]

Or sometimes they continue the disrespect, because you allow it, and put up with it. There needs to be a balance between conducting yourself with dignity, and letting people know you don't tolerate disrespect. Pick your battles.

hence discernment

people disrespect you not just because you allow it but because of the emotional response it creates.. they are literally testing you.

the weak will fail and the person disrespecting them will take advantage of the persons emotional vulnerability, people pleasing nature and lack of self respect and love to control them because the person lacking the emotional discipline have shown that they have no boundaries and can be manipulated..

you have to do both have self discipline and control while also maintaining self dignity and self respect.

 

[King Jae]

Naw...some ppl only understand u cussing them the fukk out..if they wanted to be civil..it would have been that way out the gate...when u dealing with dikkheads they don't get the message til they in the hospital or a box in their Sunday's best...

 

[Legal]

That's cool.

Or

You can just be an adult and stand up for yourself when necessary. By which I mean calmly letting the other person know at that moment that you're not okay with what they said it did, and also calmly explaining why.

All this shyt people talk about how they'd flip a table, empty a whole clip, and slap everyone in 50 foot radius is the shyt that's uncalled for. Just state your issue like it's regular ass business, and be open to a reasonable resolution of said issue.

 

[NotaPAWG]

That's cool.

Or

You can just be an adult and stand up for yourself when necessary. By which I mean calmly letting the other person know at that moment that you're not okay with what they said it did, and also calmly explaining why.

All this shyt people talk about how they'd flip a table, empty a whole clip, and slap everyone in 50 foot radius is the shyt that's uncalled for. Just state your issue like it's regular ass business, and be open to a reasonable resolution of said issue.

and sometimes the other person isnt receptive, responds in anger, the blame game and taking no self accountability or responsibility and goes off of emotions

 

[Legal]

and sometimes the other person isnt receptive, responds in anger, the blame game and taking no self accountability or responsibility and goes off of emotions

And that's fine. Keep your cool, give them the opportunity to resolve the issue calmly, and if they don't, remove yourself from the situation. At that point, it's THEIR issue. You know crazy someone looks being mad at you for some shyt THEY did?

 

[KyokushinKarateMan]

@Nicole0416

 

[NotaPAWG]

@Nicole0416

why did you have to tag her.. this thread is going to go off the rails now

 

[TL15]

discerning when to show emotional weakness is important in terms of how to allow someone to treat and respect you. if you show it at the wrong time, the other person will you see you as lacking self discipline and control and wont respect you. they will pounce on it and use it to treat you bad in anger. but if you stay quiet, dont fall into their trap and show that they dont have the power to control your emotions or blame you for their own lack of discipline..you are taking away that power they feed off of that fuels their ego, makes them prideful & continue their behavior. in return they will show you respect as you prove you are emotionally and mentally strong, not weak and cant be controlled.

“i did _ because you did __” by having self discipline, you take that away from them them, give them no room or way to rationalize their behavior as your fault..

keep your head high, dont react and keep it moving.

the importance of self control and discipline isnt just for your own sake but for another as well. sometimes explaining to a person how their behavior is a problem isnt enough. you have to sit by and allow them to fall on their own sword during their period of emotional instability to be able to reflect on their bullshyt and then theyll come to you

this is especially important for men, but definitely valuable for women, as well.

No smoke (because I’ve never disrespected you at all)

But do you think this perspective can be validated or invalidated based upon outside factors (gender, race, etc.)?

For example, in America it might be less likely that you (a white woman) are disrespected than me (a black man). Meaning, the opportunities to practice this “restraint” come fewer and further between for you than I.

It is easy for me (a straight black man) to tell someone who might feel marginalized (a gay black man for example) that they should learn to practice an intense amount of discipline in the face of conversational adversity when the amount of disrespect in certain situations could be greater for that person than it would be for me (ie: calling someone a ni**er fa**ot with the hatred behind both words has more sting than just ni**er)


Thoughts?

 

[Collateral]

I agree and always practice self restraint but sometimes you gotta cuss a mfer out.

Im laid back and mellow but people will test you and I do not tolerate disrespect.

 

[NotaPAWG]

No smoke (because I’ve never disrespected you at all)

But do you think this perspective can be validated or invalidated based upon outside factors (gender, race, etc.)?

For example, in America it might be less likely that you (a white woman) are disrespected than me (a black man). Meaning, the opportunities to practice this “restraint” come fewer and further between for you than I.

It is easy for me (a straight black man) to tell someone who might feel marginalized (a gay black man for example) that they should learn to practice an intense amount of discipline in the face of conversational adversity when the amount of disrespect in certain situations could be greater for that person than it would be for me (ie: calling someone a ni**er fa**ot with the hatred behind both words has more sting than just ni**er)


Thoughts?

i should have been more specific

this is in terms of close relatiinships, with your significant other or with family

and who i learned this from was from a black man, actually. my man. im just passing it on to help others who are struggling communicating with highly emotional people.

self restraint/emotional discipline doesnt mean not having or creating boundarie. both are necessary. especially as a man. a women will not respect or trust a man to lead who cant prove that they have no self control or discipline as it shows they are “weak”.

 

[TL15]

i should have been more specific

this is in terms of close relatiinships, with your significant other or with family

and who i learned this from was from a black man, actually.

It’s not particularly relevant that you learned it from a black man.

I agree wholeheartedly that emotional intelligence is a very underrated trait. Understanding how to maneuver, hold your tongue, not show your anger or disdain is important.

I do feel, though, that being docile can be exploited. In some cases having a reaction can be wrong, but often times visceral reactions can signify that your instincts are you telling you something. Our reactions and reflexes are rooted in protecting us from harm. It’s not always wise to go against them

 

[KyokushinKarateMan]

why did you have to tag her.. this thread is going to go off the rails now

The only people who are going to see this thread are the posters on this board.

Name one person on this site who needs more emotional discipline and learning how to hold their tongue than she does

 

[NotaPAWG]

It’s not particularly relevant that you learned it from a black man.

I agree wholeheartedly that emotional intelligence is a very underrated trait. Understanding how to maneuver, hold your tongue, not show your anger or disdain is important.

I do feel, though, that being docile can be exploited. In some cases having a reaction can be wrong, but often times visceral reactions can signify that your instincts are you telling you something. Our reactions and reflexes are rooted in protecting us from harm. It’s not always wise to go against them

true

and ive mentioned discernment

like i said, emotional discipline doesnt mean not having boundaries for how you allow someone to treat you. people are pretty manipulative though and will use your emotionally instability as a reason or excuse why they dont respect you. if you give them no reaction they cant rationalize a reason to deflect off of taking accountability.