At what point in my post did I mention politeness? I'm talking about clear cut harassment. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about following women, trying to talk to them after they've made it clear they aren't interested, making profane or ignorant statements towards them, grabbing them, and other overt actions that not only make women uncomfortable...they influence how women perceive non-threatening/normal/etc behavior from men too.
Politeness is how an action is perceived. Like "oh, he's such a polite young man for opening that door."
You and Jemele are taking about how we as men should perceive our acts of politeness as scaring women. That's insane. Like I said. I treat women like I treat men and kids.
I don't grab random kids, random men and I don't grab random women. No one knows anyone's character in any interaction. That's part of life. We have rules about our behavior and our character determines how we follow those rules.
...like opening doors sure. Most women have no issue with chivalry, opening doors, etc. They say thank you and move on. But at the same time, many women feel uneasy about it because they fear if they react too positively, a man might take it the wrong way and pursue them, or get angry if rejected, etc. We might say "oh she's overthinking it...it's just a simple thing" and yea, I understand how a guy might think that. But I try to think about things from other people's perspectives, as much as I can. And I can see why a woman might ENJOY legit chivalry while simultaneously feeling anxious about the intentions of men who act that way. When I open the door for women it's not really a thought...it's just an instinct that was drilled into me by my mother and grandmothers. A courtesy. I open the door, nod and move on. I don't think "well now she owes me something" or "wow she smiles, she must want to fukk me" lol.
That's all I'm saying. A lot of chicks are not hateful or mean or angry or anything else. They're just scared.
Did you read what she said? She said she finds a way to let the man walk out first by fake calling or something else.
She's asking us to changing our behavior and walking out before the women just on the assumption I could be dangerous?
There's already a protocol for letting a person walk out before you. Guy offers, woman says no you first, then you walk out before them. Going through the extra motion of faking a call says more about her than it does the actions of the person she perceives as dangerous.
But I try to think about things from other people's perspectives, as much as I can. And I can see why a woman might ENJOY legit chivalry while simultaneously feeling anxious about the intentions of men who act that way. When I open the door for women it's not really a thought...it's just an instinct that was drilled into me by my mother and grandmothers. A courtesy. I open the door, nod and move on. I don't think "well now she owes me something" or "wow she smiles, she must want to fukk me" lol.
That's all I'm saying. A lot of chicks are not hateful or mean or angry or anything else. They're just scared.
So when you see old people having a difficult time with their bags, you assume you're a thief and leave them alone? You see a child alone crying for their parent in the store and assume you're a molester and don't ask an associate to help?
I'm not calling any woman hateful or angry for grabbing for being scared walking at night alone and I'm walking behind them even if I know I mean no harm.
There's a such thing as situational awareness. It's the reason I lock my car doors when I'm not in it. It has nothing to do with how "safe" the neighborhood is.
if you’re scared, stay at home or take the stairs.
I'll take the stairs
