They are terrible. I feel you breh. Try to remember you're out of your mind right now and not thinking right. I know it's hard, but try. Call a friend. Do something.
Ever been suicidal?
- Thread starter lightbearerchef
- Start date
mariahcooper
MC
thought about it many times, but I would never do it. dont really see the point of suicide we're all gonna die one day. plus your body may die but your soul lives forever.
Here's some (admittedly out there) logic that might help you.
Suicide is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem (no I didn't say that backwards). The world is infinite. There are an infinite amount of yous in every situation. There is no time. IF you kill yourself, you're not really killing yourself. You'll still be here. It will solve nothing.
Suicide is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem (no I didn't say that backwards). The world is infinite. There are an infinite amount of yous in every situation. There is no time. IF you kill yourself, you're not really killing yourself. You'll still be here. It will solve nothing.
sanityovar8ted
OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
For yrs, i was taking chances were id hope i would end up dead. Came close a few times but as u can see never succeeded Scarface - The Suicide Note (lyrics):
deedni,still have thee thoughts from time to time,but now tis more out of boredumb then being depressed,anyhow i'll expound more after thy smoketh some hashish, if you got questions/or want advice/strategies for dealing with thee demons..
Everyone has thought of it
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Yup, many times.
Smokin Rider
I been official
I be thinkin about offing myself sometimes too breh. No matter how hard I try I seem to take 1 step forward 2 steps back. It's hard as hell to feel happy, no matter how much weed I smoke, how much money I make, how much money I spend, how many friends I got, how many girls I fukk, how much i work out, nothin fills the emptiness inside. I had a fukked up past, but I try to keep tryin. shyts rough out here though, I don't like to be alone but it's also where I'm comfortable right now.
I be feelin like Pac, like death around the corner
I be feelin like Pac, like death around the corner
Dirty_Jerz
Ethiop
I don't want to die I just want to be reborn. Close enough?
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sanityovar8ted
OG Moma Coli....dat bytch Thowd!!!
It gets better trust me. My life is now the complete opposite. Im so happy n at peace finally its hard to upset me. I think we all go through some type of storm in our life. Just weather the storm ull find ur strength.I be thinkin about offing myself sometimes too breh. No matter how hard I try I seem to take 1 step forward 2 steps back. It's hard as hell to feel happy, no matter how much weed I smoke, how much money I make, how much money I spend, how many friends I got, how many girls I fukk, how much i work out, nothin fills the emptiness inside. I had a fukked up past, but I try to keep tryin. shyts rough out here though, I don't like to be alone but it's also where I'm comfortable right now.
I be feelin like Pac, like death around the corner
aiite,my cerebral is still pretty stimulated/lucid so i'll just drop a quick foreword and then some tips/alternate mindscape's to possibly explore if you so choose,take from it what you will/resonates..in'shallah
i was kinda tongue in cheek when i said i'm more "suicidal" now,i'm really just more existential/grim now in sense cause a few of thy YG's in my hood passed on/pets passed on/crisis's have been hitting,and i'm in physical pain,etc,when i finished school and what i'll call thee "first wave" of crisis's hit,fights with familia/debt/back in thee jects hit,but at this point i don't even regret/feel physical/mental pain over it anymore,it made me a better man,when you can admonish/demolish your own demons and attract taqwa into your life,you'll realize tis just fuel..pain is a catalyst to explore self/your environment with more savvy eyes,pain is not something to avoid,pain is something to synthesize/transmigrate,pain is a teacher but tis also a reacher,it can only touch what you let it..
anyhow,
1)Explore more.Life is a Laboratory,why stay on thee same experiment you're currently involved in if its not working,change your routine in a challenging way,change your own patterns,see what works and what doesn't,too often in Babel-On/Western culture they put you in a fukkin box from birth,you're in a cycle,it goes round and round but you're not trapped,you control thee rotation,like a globe in elementary school,don't be numb and dumb and controlled,take back admiral ship of you ship,sounds corny but tis true..if you consider yourself a fukk up then why not do what you want anyways,no lose proposition
2)Experiment with entheogens..hahahaha they will change your life in some fashion i will guarantee it,i twas telling thee Cowwli chat to pop some booms/el es dee/DXM and stare in a mirror,you will see that reincarnation,demons,and auras exist,hahahahaha..just find your zone and loosen up dough,don't let Babel On be your hangman/judge,this fukkin country is insane/silly anyways,you can't be worse then these fukkin false idols/sycophants/talking heads are,trust me,i already have more love for ya'll then them just for being brutally honest about a brutal society,nobody's happy anyways,they are all actors upon thee same stage as you,no better or worse,we are playing a temporary role in a theater of infinity...
3)Read MORE..can't stress that enough,knowledge is thee only true power that matters,expand it,expound it,you will find something to interest you enough,after my first wave of crisis(my whole life has been a crisis of abuse,but what lead to thee "awakening")all i did was expand my mind,read way more scribes then i ever did in school,and about subjects that actually INTERESTED me,spirituality/entheogens/philosophy/psychology/non fiction history/aliens/alternate history/biographies/and hood gritty non fiction shyt,and of course suicide,but that's not thee point,read what you want,it coukld be about architecture or fukkin knitting doilies,but find something..
4)Meditate,no matter what denomination/non denomination/higher power/non higher power you believe in..it works,may seem corny/boring/worthless initially but give it a few mins here and there,and see what you notice..and daydream as well,like Einstein said,Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Meditation will pierce your left brain(where most neurotic/self destructive thought stems from)and open up your right brain,your dream scape will change for thee better&you'll get more creative,just practice and think of it as a workout..
5)Exercise,it helped me a great deal for anxiety,especially combined with trees,it just gives you vitality,in fact i've prolly been more negative/solemn cause i got lazy/let injuries/circumstances stop me, but when i was working out/doing acupuncture tis helped..
6)Therapy&Anti Depressants/Anxiety/Bi Polar/Schizophrenia drugs i'm mixed on,talking&Wellbutrin helped a tad initially i suppose(haven't been on em for 3+ years),anti anxiety pills are obviously fun for recreational reasons,but at least try them if you can,better than nothing and might be more tailored to your particular lifestyle..test your friends/familia if you can though,if they're really your "friends" then they shouldn't shy away,if they don't care flick them off and give them thee
,and yes that includes family at times,especially when abuse is involved,physical,mental,and spiritual
7)Learn To Love Being Alone&fukk The System,they don't care about you..thee truth hurts
Your own individual system transcends their system anyhow.you'll learn..
anyways,i've rambled on long enough,thy shall go puffeth on some more trees/a bogey
(don't recommend thee latter but life is so short tis long,haha)
throw a smoke signal at thee god though if ya'll need someone to build with though,no bullshyt,if i'm on here then i must have time right..
i was kinda tongue in cheek when i said i'm more "suicidal" now,i'm really just more existential/grim now in sense cause a few of thy YG's in my hood passed on/pets passed on/crisis's have been hitting,and i'm in physical pain,etc,when i finished school and what i'll call thee "first wave" of crisis's hit,fights with familia/debt/back in thee jects hit,but at this point i don't even regret/feel physical/mental pain over it anymore,it made me a better man,when you can admonish/demolish your own demons and attract taqwa into your life,you'll realize tis just fuel..pain is a catalyst to explore self/your environment with more savvy eyes,pain is not something to avoid,pain is something to synthesize/transmigrate,pain is a teacher but tis also a reacher,it can only touch what you let it..
anyhow,
1)Explore more.Life is a Laboratory,why stay on thee same experiment you're currently involved in if its not working,change your routine in a challenging way,change your own patterns,see what works and what doesn't,too often in Babel-On/Western culture they put you in a fukkin box from birth,you're in a cycle,it goes round and round but you're not trapped,you control thee rotation,like a globe in elementary school,don't be numb and dumb and controlled,take back admiral ship of you ship,sounds corny but tis true..if you consider yourself a fukk up then why not do what you want anyways,no lose proposition
2)Experiment with entheogens..hahahaha they will change your life in some fashion i will guarantee it,i twas telling thee Cowwli chat to pop some booms/el es dee/DXM and stare in a mirror,you will see that reincarnation,demons,and auras exist,hahahahaha..just find your zone and loosen up dough,don't let Babel On be your hangman/judge,this fukkin country is insane/silly anyways,you can't be worse then these fukkin false idols/sycophants/talking heads are,trust me,i already have more love for ya'll then them just for being brutally honest about a brutal society,nobody's happy anyways,they are all actors upon thee same stage as you,no better or worse,we are playing a temporary role in a theater of infinity...
3)Read MORE..can't stress that enough,knowledge is thee only true power that matters,expand it,expound it,you will find something to interest you enough,after my first wave of crisis(my whole life has been a crisis of abuse,but what lead to thee "awakening")all i did was expand my mind,read way more scribes then i ever did in school,and about subjects that actually INTERESTED me,spirituality/entheogens/philosophy/psychology/non fiction history/aliens/alternate history/biographies/and hood gritty non fiction shyt,and of course suicide,but that's not thee point,read what you want,it coukld be about architecture or fukkin knitting doilies,but find something..
4)Meditate,no matter what denomination/non denomination/higher power/non higher power you believe in..it works,may seem corny/boring/worthless initially but give it a few mins here and there,and see what you notice..and daydream as well,like Einstein said,Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Meditation will pierce your left brain(where most neurotic/self destructive thought stems from)and open up your right brain,your dream scape will change for thee better&you'll get more creative,just practice and think of it as a workout..
5)Exercise,it helped me a great deal for anxiety,especially combined with trees,it just gives you vitality,in fact i've prolly been more negative/solemn cause i got lazy/let injuries/circumstances stop me, but when i was working out/doing acupuncture tis helped..
6)Therapy&Anti Depressants/Anxiety/Bi Polar/Schizophrenia drugs i'm mixed on,talking&Wellbutrin helped a tad initially i suppose(haven't been on em for 3+ years),anti anxiety pills are obviously fun for recreational reasons,but at least try them if you can,better than nothing and might be more tailored to your particular lifestyle..test your friends/familia if you can though,if they're really your "friends" then they shouldn't shy away,if they don't care flick them off and give them thee
,and yes that includes family at times,especially when abuse is involved,physical,mental,and spiritual7)Learn To Love Being Alone&fukk The System,they don't care about you..thee truth hurts
Your own individual system transcends their system anyhow.you'll learn..anyways,i've rambled on long enough,thy shall go puffeth on some more trees/a bogey
(don't recommend thee latter but life is so short tis long,haha)throw a smoke signal at thee god though if ya'll need someone to build with though,no bullshyt,if i'm on here then i must have time right..
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I was and still am fascinated at death and fixated on my own impending demise. A nikka never wanted to put a gun in his mouth or hang himself, slit my wrist or od. I just had no desire to exist in this world anymore. Ive honestly had a good run, had fun. If I was in an isis barber chair about to get that final fade I wouldnt plead for my life on some "Please let me do this, this, and this" "If I only had time I swear I would...."
My existence in the grand scheme of things (the universe) is miniscule. As a black male existing now, my terms of existence is to live, not go to jail, get killed by police or kkk, get a decent job and perhaps start a family. That's it What I have come to realize is that in many of one- that is of all the realities I exist in- to live is a very large and deep existence filled with a multitude of experiences. Some good, some bad, some right, some wrong, some failures, some successes and in those lays the reason to live. I'm going to be the best me I can be every second I get.
My existence in the grand scheme of things (the universe) is miniscule. As a black male existing now, my terms of existence is to live, not go to jail, get killed by police or kkk, get a decent job and perhaps start a family. That's it
What I have come to realize is that in many of one- that is of all the realities I exist in- to live is a very large and deep existence filled with a multitude of experiences. Some good, some bad, some right, some wrong, some failures, some successes and in those lays the reason to live. I'm going to be the best me I can be every second I get.
