Fellas: How does one become trapped in a relationship without kids?

[The Fade]

Apparently, trying to escape a partner who has BPD is like trying to run from Jason

 

[Crayola Coyote]

Man I can't imagine ever being in that position. That's a no-no in my family. Selling your soul to a woman like that. Having to ask her for money every time you need something like you're her kid

Seen a white dude had to ask his girl permission to use his debit card. Oh hell mah

 

[Dwolf]

When I was in NC, my friends ex gf tried to jump me cuz I hugged him and that night involved a car chase and police.

Give a nikka a hug brehettes

 

[Van Cleef]

You've never heard of arraigned marriages?

 

[Jean Jacket]

Came to post low self esteem, period.

Somebody already said it.

 

[Spatial Paradox]

A lot of times, it's the sunk cost fallacy at play, especially if it's been a relatively long relationship.

It's not healthy to stick around in a toxic relationship, but ending it seems like all of the energy, money and time you spent on the relationship would be going to waste (and I stress that it seems like it because I think we all should be learning sometime from our relationships, even if it doesn't have a happy ending). Some people would rather deal with a zombie of a relationship than to deal with the pain, hurt and loss of actually ending the relationship.

 

[Rawtid]

When she says, “it took everything in my power to not kill my self last night”


shyt like that gets me tight because you can say I’m selfish for wanting to leave or whatever but you’re 10x times more selfish for wanting to take your life because you can’t have someone.

That stuff can make anyone feel trapped because you don’t want to be the reason for any kind of heartbreak.

Call me cruel, but that's not on you. Point her into the direction of professional help and leave. It sounds mean, but what's staying going to do? Heartbreak is a risk of relationship.

 

[Spatial Paradox]

Call me cruel, but that's not on you. Point her into the direction of professional help and leave. It sounds mean, but what's staying going to do? Heartbreak is a risk of relationship.

It could be the difference between her being alive or dead. At least, that's what someone who would threaten suicide if their significant other leaves them is banking on the other person thinking. He doesn't know how serious she is about the threat. And even if she is BSing, the chance that she may be serious would be enough to give him pause.

I'm not saying that any man should stick around in a relationship where their significant other is threatening suicide if he goes. But even if the relationship has run its course and he wants out, he probably still cares for her on some level. It's hard to be detached enough to simply walk away in that case. It's a powerful way to manipulate someone psychologically. Which is likely the reason why it counts as domestic abuse

 

[Rawtid]

It could be the difference between her being alive or dead. At least, that's what someone who would threaten suicide if their significant other leaves them is banking on the other person thinking. He doesn't know how serious she is about the threat. And even if she is BSing, the chance that she may be serious would be enough to give him pause.

I'm not saying that any man should stick around in a relationship where their significant other is threatening suicide if he goes. But even if the relationship has run its course and he wants out, he probably still cares for her on some level. It's hard to be detached enough to simply walk away in that case. It's a powerful way to manipulate someone psychologically. Which is likely the reason why it counts as domestic abuse

Even if that person killed themselves because you left, that's not your fault. That's not "normal" behavior. People get left everyday. That's why I said, you point them to professional help. That is out of your scope to work out...there is really no where else that relationship can go. Now if you want to stick it out with her WHILE she's getting treatment, that's fine, but having the relationship go back to the dead end it was already at over a threat of suicide isn't good for either person.

 

[Json]

It's partially not wanting to lose the emotional, financial, and time investment you made with that woman.

And then it's also not wanting to be the bad guy, "a bad guy".

When you know that a woman is head over heels in love with you and wants to spend her whole life with you, how do you break the news to her that you don't feel the same.

So instead of putting that pain onto the woman, they just bottle up their own unhappiness inside and try and soldier through it to keep the woman happy.

Also is the fact your identity becomes tied to that relationship. Friends and family think they know you based on your relationship. When are you getting married? Moving in together ? House?

You stop being addressed as a singular individual.

 

[get these nets]

i'm a hiphop head to the core so someone had to explain to me that this was a breakup song though i'd heard it many times before

i can definitely see how people can feel trapped in relationship...no drama, no fighting....just no longer want to be with the person and have hard time telling her

 

[luciddreamer]

Everyone's an expert and living perfect lives on the internet.....

 

[Spatial Paradox]

Even if that person killed themselves because you left, that's not your fault. That's not "normal" behavior. People get left everyday. That's why I said, you point them to professional help. That is out of your scope to work out...there is really no where else that relationship can go. Now if you want to stick it out with her WHILE she's getting treatment, that's fine, but having the relationship go back to the dead end it was already at over a threat of suicide isn't good for either person.

Again, I don't disagree. If someone's threatening suicide over you leaving them, then there's something deeply wrong with the relationship. It's time to cut your losses and try to steer them towards getting professional help. I'm just pointing out that it might not seem so simple to someone in that situation to just walk away and not care about the ultimate outcome. Not when you might be left dealing with survivor's guilt if they follow through on their threat

 

[Ciggavelli]

From experience, some people have the power to mentally trap you. It could happen to men and women alike