Fellas, I need your perspective…

[Studious one]

So, my sister’s boyfriend went to his sisters, funeral with his ex-wife and kids. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of his ex-wife, having to go with him, especially being that she couldn’t, but she understood the circumstance. He did try to appease her fears before he went to the funeral. But when he gets down there, he starts acting very secretive. He called her and told her he was running to the store, so he was just calling her right quick. Then, he called her while she was driving and she told him she would call him back in five minutes and when she called him back, he said that he was in the mall at the checkout and he would call her back. He sounded like he was on some secret squirrel shyt she said. Like he was rushing to get her off the phone, and he was sneaking to even contact her. So, she cussed him out, something awful, and ended the relationship. I told her that he could’ve handled the situation better but you don’t know if he did anything. My other sister told her that he did something. she wanted to know a male perspective and so that’s why I’m writing this here. So the question is, how would you feel if you are girlfriends children’s father paid for the flight, the hotel room (he claims he was going to probably stay at his other sisters house), and the rental car? And then for her to get down there and to be acting very hush-hush. Keep in mind that this was a funeral and he is mourning now so I told her she needs to give him grace because of that, but I want to know what you guys think.

 

[Elle Seven]

For the sake of clarity, you are saying this (using names to make it easier to follow):

- Your sister is Jane
- Your sister's boyfriend is Joe
- Jane and Joe are/were dating
- Joe's sister died and he went to her funeral
- Joe attended this funeral with his ex-wife Dana and some children (wasn't clear if they shared these kids or not)
- Joe starts acting funny while out-of-town at the funeral
- Jane cusses Joe out and breaks up with him
- You tell Jane you don't know for certain what Joe was doing
- You and Jane have another sister Lisa; Lisa suggests to Jane that Joe "did something" while at the funeral

With the question you posed to the men here for comparison, are you saying that Joe paid for Dana's flight, hotel room and rental car to attend the funeral?

 

[Turbulent]

I think cussing him out and breaking up with him over the phone while he was at his sister's funeral is crazy.

If i was dude i would count my blessings and figure i dodged a bullet by no longer being with your sister. Respectfully...

 

[MajesticLion]

 

[NoCones]

The sister stayed cool with the ex?
How long ago was the divorce?
Wait, wait, wait...
He initiates the calls but is supposedly sneaking to do it?
So many questions....

Edit: He paid for her shyt too?

 

[DreadBrown]

This hit close to home a lil, wifey has a lot of insecurity when it comes to my ex



Your sister did too much

She felt like he was being secretive because she was looking for something

Instead of supporting her man while he was mourning his sister she made herself a problem for him

What did she even think was going on?

She did him a favour breaking it off

 

[Who Not How]

The foundation of the relationship seems weak and it was going to fall eventually if she ended the relationship over the phone while he was at his sister's funeral. No woman who truly cares about me would do that.

 

[DreadBrown]

For the sake of clarity, you are saying this (using names to make it easier to follow):

- Your sister is Jane
- Your sister's boyfriend is Joe
- Jane and Joe are/were dating
- Joe's sister died and he went to her funeral
- Joe attended this funeral with his ex-wife Dana and some children (wasn't clear if they shared these kids or not)
- Joe starts acting funny while out-of-town at the funeral
- Jane cusses Joe out and breaks up with him
- You tell Jane you don't know for certain what Joe was doing
- You and Jane have another sister Lisa; Lisa suggests to Jane that Joe "did something" while at the funeral

With the question you posed to the men here for comparison, are you saying that Joe paid for Dana's flight, hotel room and rental car to attend the funeral?

See this shyt right here



You must be the fourth sister

 

[Studious one]

For the sake of clarity, you are saying this (using names to make it easier to follow):

- Your sister is Jane
- Your sister's boyfriend is Joe
- Jane and Joe are/were dating
- Joe's sister died and he went to her funeral
- Joe attended this funeral with his ex-wife Dana and some children (wasn't clear if they shared these kids or not)
- Joe starts acting funny while out-of-town at the funeral
- Jane cusses Joe out and breaks up with him
- You tell Jane you don't know for certain what Joe was doing
- You and Jane have another sister Lisa; Lisa suggests to Jane that Joe "did something" while at the funeral

With the question you posed to the men here for comparison, are you saying that Joe paid for Dana's flight, hotel room and rental car to attend the funeral?

Great job, sorry about that, she woke me up from sleeping with this shyt. Dana paid for Joe’s flight, rental car, and Joe claims that he’s going to be at his other sister’s house. So my question was if it was the reverse, Would men have a problem with that. Meaning if Joe did pay for Dana’s flight and such. They only have one child together. She has two others that he raised. Yes, Lisa thinks that he did something because the situation is too fishy and it was already intense situation. I feel that neither of us can say, but his behavior is concerning.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Hard to answer without knowing specific details. How long were they married? How long ago did they divorce? What were the circumstances?

Your sister definitely overreacted. She should have had a wait and see approach. Those are his children and that's the mother of his children. You can't break up with him cause he's around them. Does she want him to be a deadbeat dad?

At first I was gonna say it was crazy for him to not let her come to the funeral but after how she acted, can you imagine what she would have done if she had actually been there? She might have started an incident.

 

[Studious one]

The sister stayed cool with the ex?
How long ago was the divorce?
Wait, wait, wait...
He initiates the calls but is supposedly sneaking to do it?
So many questions....

Edit: He paid for her shyt too?

Yes, I guess the sister is cool with the ex not on some friendly shyt, but they know each other. The divorce is recent as in very recent. It was finalized last year after three-year separation. I guess she say in the way that he acted when he called.

 

[Jean toomer]

Your sister was projecting her insecurities and is an unreliable narrator. Good luck and god bless.

 

[Studious one]

Hard to answer without knowing specific details. How long were they married? How long ago did they divorce? What were the circumstances?

Your sister definitely overreacted. She should have had a wait and see approach. Those are his children and that's the mother of his children. You can't break up with him cause he's around them. Does she want him to be a deadbeat dad?

At first I was gonna say it was crazy for him to not let her come to the funeral but after how she acted, can you imagine what she would have done if she had actually been there? She might have started an incident.

They were married for six years, separated for three, and just finalize the divorce last year. So with that being said, if the situation reversed, you wouldn’t be fine with the situation? I guess it was good to post this here because, both my sister and I are looking at it funny his behavior, but you guys see it differently. This is why we needed a male perspective.

 

[Elle Seven]

See this shyt right here



You must be the fourth sister

Nah...y'all are a trip. I read the story and found it a little hard to understand upon the first read.

 

[OperationNumbNutts]

Sorry but the story seems incomplete. How would the sister know dude something with the ex? Also, did she know her boyfriend's sister. Not sure why shouldn't go for support. If he asked her to stay knowing ex-wife would be there, that's suspect but doesn't automatically mean he's cheating.