Friendships - Simple (Men) vs Complex (Women)?

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

one thing I do know is I’m not clicking that shyt, judging by the way it got some posters in the thread all up in a tizzy, it’s clearly babble and not even from anybody important to form a whole discussion around lol

Y’all need to stop it. Enough is enough. It’s a beautiful day out. I’m bout to go have lunch with my dad, he’s a good friend too

shyt, anybody who breaks bread with me is my friend…. At least for the time being. Is that simple enough for you?

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

I saw an older breh at the gas station the other night. He had a Niners hat on so I said like tha hat and we end up talkin for like 15 minutes about the team and went on our way. It's not hard to be social and form surface level friendships. Most friendships start out that way and then they might progress or they might just stay around the surface.

 

[Coco Loco]

i didnt put any pressure on her...a mere suggestion is not pressure.

for instance, lets say she came home and said "some girl on the subway was talking to me blah blah blah", i might ask at the end of the story, "did you get her number? maybe yall should connect further"

that isnt pressure.

if you move to a new country and dont put any effort into making new friends, thats just stupid. her inability to do so actually put a lot of strain on the relationship because she was so zeroed in and focused on me due to not having built any friendships on her own.

yall afraid of rejection / stepping out your comfort zone. I get it, when I was like 10 years old and moved to a new school I had the same issue

At some point you have to grow out of it and actually put effort into creating the life you want though, rather than just floating through it. And I am as introverted and laid back as they get

This may not be pressure to you but it feels like it and is very annoying. There's nothing wrong with interacting with someone and closing out the conversation. To me and probably her, it's forced interaction after the initial conversation ran it's course.

I literally just said I have random interactions with strangers all the time, I'm not afraid to engage people or rejection. Why do you keep harping on rejection especially if I don't know this person so there's no expectations on either of us? What I think you're not getting is no matter how great the interaction, some things have a start and an ending, requiring nothing else from either party, and that's ok.

I have two example of a random conversation progressing to contact information/interactions after the initial conversation. I went to Ulta and had a great conversation with a makeup artist/sales associate. We talked about make up and skin care for a good 30+ minutes. We vibed and the conversation flowed naturally like we'd known each other for years. After our interaction I asked could I follow her on IG. We follow each other and I've gone to some of her pop up events etc.

Another time I was in a store, saw a chick wearing a cute dress and asked her about it. Again, we were in the store chopping it up. She showed me some pics of her recent weight loss on her IG, I said oh what's your handle so I can follow you. Easy peasy but every conversation doesn't need to result in a new bestie no matter how great it was.

My husband is the total opposite of me. He can meet people all around the globe and you'd think they've been friends for years. It's natural for him what he doesn't do is try get me to interact with people the way he would. He understands how he meets and interacts with people is not how I do it and vice versa. Sometimes we're at events and I'm ready to gooooo, my social interaction tank is full. But he's engaging people and being a social butterfly, I let him do his thing and entertain myself. Once he's done, he'll find me and we leave. I'm not on him to wrap it up and he's not on me to engage more.

 

[Coco Loco]

one thing I do know is I’m not clicking that shyt, judging by the way it got some posters in the thread all up in a tizzy, it’s clearly babble and not even from anybody important to form a whole discussion around lol

Y’all need to stop it. Enough is enough. It’s a beautiful day out. I’m bout to go have lunch with my dad, he’s a good friend too

Girl, it's just two people with different perspectives on friendships. That's all. Nothing groundbreaking or insightful whatsoever

 

[Ohene]

This may not be pressure to you but it feels like it and is very annoying. There's nothing wrong with interacting with someone and closing out the conversation. To me and probably her, it's forced interaction after the initial conversation ran it's course.

I literally just said I have random interactions with strangers all the time, I'm not afraid to engage people or rejection. Why do you keep harping on rejection especially if I don't know this person so there's no expectations on either of us? What I think you're not getting is no matter how great the interaction, some things have a start and an ending, requiring nothing else from either party, and that's ok.

I have two example of a random conversation progressing to contact information/interactions after the initial conversation. I went to Ulta and had a great conversation with a makeup artist/sales associate. We talked about make up and skin care for a good 30+ minutes. We vibed and the conversation flowed naturally like we'd known each other for years. After our interaction I asked could I follow her on IG. We follow each other and I've gone to some of her pop up events etc.

Another time I was in a store, saw a chick wearing a cute dress and asked her about it. Again, we were in the store chopping it up. She showed me some pics of her recent weight loss on her IG, I said oh what's your handle so I can follow you. Easy peasy but every conversation doesn't need to result in a new bestie no matter how great it was.

My husband is the total opposite of me. He can meet people all around the globe and you'd think they've been friends for years. It's natural for him what he doesn't do is try get me to interact with people the way he would. He understands how he meets and interacts with people is not how I do it and vice versa. Sometimes we're at events and I'm ready to gooooo, my social interaction tank is full. But he's engaging people and being a social butterfly, I let him do his thing and entertain myself. Once he's done, he'll find me and we leave. I'm not on him to wrap it up and he's not on me to engage more.

I read the first sentence but not the rest. Not interested in excuses/victim bullshyt lol

Tbh im a clown for even posting so much in this thread. Just bored on a Saturday

My bad

 

[Rick Fox at UNC]

Go make friends, enjoy life, ignore nonsense like this.

Stop analyzing everything and have fun.

 

[Coco Loco]

I read the first sentence but not the rest. Not interested in excuses/victim bullshyt lol

Sir it's none of that. I'm not here to argue or make excuses, that's not me

I just gave examples of exactly what you wanted your girl to do but it in a natural and organic way on both parts

 

[JustRegularBlack]

As far as the video, that woman is weird. You can't police someone else's friendships.

This is exactly my thought as well. Friendship is a spectrum and relative to the criteria of that person.

 

[Neuromancer]

Women and men think differently. The end.

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Women just be saying shyt Day 5011

 

[NoirDynosaur]

As a dude with a lot of female associates and homeboys, male friendships and female friendships are different

Women have the advantage of being the social gender. They will go out their way to socialize with strangers. Women love to talk, feel vibes and be in the present moment. The advantage of having female associates is preselection and networking. One woman = more women. Networking wise, a smart woman can help towards your goal.

However, male to male friendships are long term. Based on respect, loyalty, substance and practicability. Men bond through humor, commonalities, life experiences, hobbies, etc. We have the advantage of being rational. Plus we're more likely to discuss controversial topics without being politically correct. Men in general need to be selective adding dudes to their circle. Men can be just as worse as Women in friendships. Character and moral values is far important.

I grew up a lot of with women. There's a lot of gossip and drama behind the scenes. Most women would create an argument because of some he say-she say bullshyt. Women understand women and they hate each other. Most women rather have a male best friend because men in general are just calm, cool and collective people.

 

[mag357]

She ugly
her demanor wack
and her voice ugly as well

youre fat, youre ugly, you have an ugly voice and your whole demeanor is off and negative. Why would anyone even want to be her friend except to make themselves look better while going out? Like damn, be friendly, easy going and open minded and your life would surely improve. She could learn a lot from the very man she is disagreeing with.

two things can be true at the same time. i felt she was ugly, so i called her ugly. whats your problem?

yo... I was driving home earlier and this shyt had me about to crash.

 

[Starburst]

i've known my best friend for almost 20 years now
he's met my parents cause my parents crib used to be the link up spot
but i've never met his. shyt is irrelevant; who cares

I’m curious. Why?

 

[Eternally Jaded]

I’m curious. Why?

Is that a prerequisite for a good friendship?

 

[Ohene]

I’m curious. Why?

Never had a reason to go to his parents crib and meet them lol

Ive met his bro and sis though at his own condo