gangreen
Top Notch
He was better off calling her a bytch than a dog.
This midterm gonna be a blood bath.
General Trump Administration F**kery Thread (2017-2021)
- Thread starter OfTheCross
- Start date
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- Tags
- gillibrand potus trump
He was better off calling her a bytch than a dog.
This midterm gonna be a blood bath.
erickonasis
Resident Oldhead
Unbelievable
88m3
Fast Money & Foreign Objects
88m3
Fast Money & Foreign Objects
88m3
Fast Money & Foreign Objects
Pence Calls Space Force Necessary to Protect U.S. from Gay Aliens
By Andy Borowitz
August 9, 2018
Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Making a major announcement at the Pentagon on Thursday, Vice-President Mike Pence said that the proposed United States Space Force was necessary to defend the U.S. from gay aliens.
“I stand before you today to say that this country is under attack from outer-space gays,” Pence told the military gathering. “Only Space Force can protect us from their unimaginable evil.”
Pence detailed a nightmare scenario in which “gay aliens by the thousands” land in the U.S. in “seemingly cute spacecraft” and “subvert life in America as we know it.”
“Let’s say, for example, that these gay aliens can assume human form,” he said. “What’s to stop them from infiltrating normal bakeries and baking cakes for gay weddings?”
“I’ll tell you what’s to stop them,” he said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Space Force.”
At the White House, CNN’s Jim Acosta asked the press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, how, exactly, Pence had developed his theory about the existence of gay aliens.
“No one is more qualified to talk about life on other planets than Mike Pence,” Sanders snapped.
Pence Calls Space Force Necessary to Protect U.S. from Gay Aliens
By Andy Borowitz
August 9, 2018
Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Making a major announcement at the Pentagon on Thursday, Vice-President Mike Pence said that the proposed United States Space Force was necessary to defend the U.S. from gay aliens.
“I stand before you today to say that this country is under attack from outer-space gays,” Pence told the military gathering. “Only Space Force can protect us from their unimaginable evil.”
Pence detailed a nightmare scenario in which “gay aliens by the thousands” land in the U.S. in “seemingly cute spacecraft” and “subvert life in America as we know it.”
“Let’s say, for example, that these gay aliens can assume human form,” he said. “What’s to stop them from infiltrating normal bakeries and baking cakes for gay weddings?”
“I’ll tell you what’s to stop them,” he said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Space Force.”
At the White House, CNN’s Jim Acosta asked the press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, how, exactly, Pence had developed his theory about the existence of gay aliens.
“No one is more qualified to talk about life on other planets than Mike Pence,” Sanders snapped.
Pence Calls Space Force Necessary to Protect U.S. from Gay Aliens
88m3
Fast Money & Foreign Objects
AP fact check: Trump overstates his claims on the economy
they've been doing this on purpose since the beginning
