my hitta my hitta….
that shyt sounds scary as fukk. I have anxiety. If I ever get that deep in my thoughts, my mind would think I'm dead.
thats a panic attack waiting to happen. put myself in a life time trance
You need to calm the hell down breh.

Only time you need to be having a panic attack is during armageddon, the doctor says your test came back positive, or when she says its yours. If you can't relax then you can't meditate.
i see you, mine is primarily hebei as well but my grandteacher learned some things from Dai Xinyi, Xinyiliuhequan so some of the foundational exercises are different. 

that means?
i think it's funny you're as reticent about describing this shyt as I am, just always feels so pseudosciency, lol.