have you ever been lied to by a parent?

[SunZoo]

i agree with you on teaching a child how/when/why to doubt something

i just dont believe theres any value in teaching a child how where and when to lie. Or keep secrets. i think its damaging to the kid individually and yalls relationship.

First of all, the point of breaking down the value of lying to a child that is ready to comprehend such things is to actually have true transparency and strengthen the relationship. The generation before mine in my family were not raised with such transparency and they all fell victim to some kind of predator or circumstance that could have been mitigated by not keeping secrets.

I put early emphasis making sure my kids never felt the need to keep secrets from ME. Now out in the world, especially as a young adult is different. Just knowing when to doubt isn't an actionable step. Telling a man you have a boyfriend when you don't to get him to leave you tf alone is.


As a parent, it's a must to remember that you are raising ADULTS to be.

 

[Pazzy]

Without saying too much. Let's just say i dont have a close relationship with one of my parents for that very reason. Its the opposite with the other. Thats the way they've chose to be sadly and thats what I have to accept because thats what they are. You can't chose who you are birthed from.

 

[Marco Zen]

First of all, the point of breaking down the value of lying to a child that is ready to comprehend such things is to actually have true transparency and strengthen the relationship. The generation before mine in my family were not raised with such transparency and they all fell victim to some kind of predator or circumstance that could have been mitigated by not keeping secrets.

I put early emphasis making sure my kids never felt the need to keep secrets from ME. Now out in the world, especially as a young adult is different. Just knowing when to doubt isn't an actionable step. Telling a man you have a boyfriend when you don't to get him to leave you tf alone is.


As a parent, it's a must to remember that you are raising ADULTS to be.

but the example you used isnt for a child


and 2ndly why not just tell your daughter to tell the man get tf away from me, why is it necessary to lie to a thirsty nikka?... fukk him and his feelings

teaching her to cater to a predators feelings can backfire, especially if shes cornered

 

[Uachet]

Yes.

 

[SunZoo]

but the example you used isnt for a child


and 2ndly why not just tell your daughter to tell the man get tf away from me, why is it necessary to lie to a thirsty nikka?... fukk him and his feelings

16 is still a child fam.

And thirsty nikkas have killed women and girls for giving the wrong response or letting the conversation progress past a certain point. All that belligerent "fukk your feelings" shyt can get you whacked out here.

And it ain't even gotta be as deep as life or death, but situational awareness and DISCERNMENT are very valuable to have as you navigate the world we live in. I've had to explain that scenario to my daughter when she was even younger than she is now because it played out in real time.

 

[trapnerd]

My dad was going to the hospital a lot and when I asked him what was going on he would say “oh they are running tests”.

Really he had been battling pancreatic cancer for three years and he and my step mom hid it from me.

I found out about the cancer from an Dr in the hospital, and he died a few days later.


I’ll never understand why he wasn’t transparent with me.

 

[Bboystyle]

My dad was going to the hospital a lot and when I asked him what was going on he would say “oh they are running tests”.

Really he had been battling pancreatic cancer for three years and he and my step mom hid it from me.

I found out about the cancer from an Dr in the hospital, and he died a few days later.


I’ll never understand why he wasn’t transparent with me.

damn breh....why u have to come out of hiding to post this

 

[SunZoo]

My dad was going to the hospital a lot and when I asked him what was going on he would say “oh they are running tests”.

Really he had been battling pancreatic cancer for three years and he and my step mom hid it from me.

I found out about the cancer from an Dr in the hospital, and he died a few days later.


I’ll never understand why he wasn’t transparent with me.

I'm sorry that happened to you, and while I would never do such a thing, I can certainly "understand" how hard that would be. Hell he might have thought he could fight it, get better and have save you from ever worrying in the first place. It's faulty logic but I could see how someone could end up there without thinking of just how impactful it would be for it to play out how it did, fukked up and I'm sure there is plenty of justifiable anger on your end.

 

[Gloxina]

Yes, sadly, all the time…

And for me, it made me look at every single person as untrustworthy.

Because if this person who brought you into the world can look at you directly in your eyes with a straight face and tell you a extraordinary lie…


Low-key me and my sister are both have been affected by the lies. A parent has told us. But it is what it is.

Breh.



We eye to eye on this one.


I will say that it made me very distrustful and keen to the BS that ppl will try to pull. I’ve had ppl legit get physically upset because I’m the only person in the room who can see through them.

So while it is absolutely horrible that I had to learn that lesson in the home, it’s made me sharp as fukk when it’s time to read ppl.


I say that I have sociopathic tendencies BUT I’m definitely not a sociopath.

I can just spot them out so I steer other ppl away from harm.


I’m basically the “you don’t fukk with me, then I won’t blow up your spot” person.

So ppl learn to move around when it comes to me.

It’s actually fun for me when ppl realize that I’m not intimidated by them at all and we can sit in silence and have a staring contest for as long as they’d like. You can literally see the look in their eyes change when they realize you ain’t like the other ppl in the room

Play them games with everyone else, but not the ppl I care about





So, yea. Parents who do that cause irreparable pain and trauma to their children. But once you come to terms with it, it definitely makes you colder, but much more ready for the “real world”.





You avoid a lot of traps as you get an older though. So, a bit of a bright side there.

 

[Gloxina]

My dad was going to the hospital a lot and when I asked him what was going on he would say “oh they are running tests”.

Really he had been battling pancreatic cancer for three years and he and my step mom hid it from me.

I found out about the cancer from an Dr in the hospital, and he died a few days later.


I’ll never understand why he wasn’t transparent with me.

I’m so sorry.

 

[null]

yanks have no issues with lying. habitual lying even.

and a lot of people do not understand how lying affects relationships.

i have one aunt who drops lies whenever and wherever. must be like one every five minutes.

you can't explain the damage lies cause with people like that because they don't really care on that level and lack fundamental respect for others.

lots of christians mind ...

 

[big bun]

nikka all of us have.

This.

 

[DaylitoJames]

 

[Bboystyle]

yanks have no issues with lying. habitual lying even.

and a lot of people do not understand how lying affects relationships.

i have one aunt who drops lies whenever and wherever. must be like one every five minutes.

you can't explain the damage lies cause with people like that because they don't really care on that level and lack fundamental respect for others.

lots of christians mind ...

And the buck tooth brits are brittle angels who tell no lies

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

My parents don't really lie. But they have a weird perspective on shyt.

For example, I have a cousin who is damn near a genius. Probably one of the most stand up people you will ever meet. The nikka sews for fun, went to MIT and has impeccable manners. However, he was a baby my uncle (his father) had outside his marriage. His father is now dead.

Then I have another cousin who literally body slams his mom, won't leave the house and flunked out of college.

Both of them have White mothers btw.

When it came time to give out some inheritance money, my dad's side acted like the genius cousin didn't "deserve" his father's part of the inheritance because he didn't say "thank you"...mind you it's not their money to be thanked for. Both my parents agree with that goofy line of thinking.

I told them you have a problem with the genius who literally is damn near an angel but cool with the beige nikka who plays basketball with his mommy's head (his father is in the same house btw)?



They were just quiet and literally haven't brought it up sense.

I have to check them on that type of silly shyt all the time.

They don't have any sort of logic whatsoever.