You’ll get another chance. Reincarnation. Fulfill the yearnings of your heart because they are the reasons you were allowed a body to use on the earth.Time is wasted on the young.Damn if I could go back in time.
Have you guys ever had a 'defeated' feeling in your lives?
- Thread starter Marci-Senpai
- Start date
Several times. There was even a time where I thought I’d hit rock bottom, just to fall through that floor too… then another.
If if you start to feel “battered dog” syndrome (just giving up and letting shyt happen because life is hitting you with street fighter ex 39 hit ultimate combos and you don’t have the energy to fight back), the sun will come up, even if you do nothing.
When I was in shytty situations, with no more hope left to lose, I’d just let the feeling of dread win and allow the mental anguish to pass.
Therapy taught me to just work through all that, and when I’m just empty, then there’s no where but up. That’s the point where I just imagine what can happen tomorrow. I just stay numb, keep watching the sun come up, and wondering what’s going to happen the next day. Before I knew it my tank of “hope” and “optimism” slowly refilled itself, and I could work towards a more stable foundation.
Just remember tomorrow.
People will tell you suicide is wrong, religion, afterlife, whatever.. if you can’t search for tomorrow, for yourself, then it’s over. It’s up to you and no one else. If you want to see tomorrow then keep it in mind, and the body will follow. You may be painfully dragging yourself physical self/body, but it will see tomorrow.
If if you start to feel “battered dog” syndrome (just giving up and letting shyt happen because life is hitting you with street fighter ex 39 hit ultimate combos and you don’t have the energy to fight back), the sun will come up, even if you do nothing.
When I was in shytty situations, with no more hope left to lose, I’d just let the feeling of dread win and allow the mental anguish to pass.
Therapy taught me to just work through all that, and when I’m just empty, then there’s no where but up. That’s the point where I just imagine what can happen tomorrow. I just stay numb, keep watching the sun come up, and wondering what’s going to happen the next day. Before I knew it my tank of “hope” and “optimism” slowly refilled itself, and I could work towards a more stable foundation.
Just remember tomorrow.
People will tell you suicide is wrong, religion, afterlife, whatever.. if you can’t search for tomorrow, for yourself, then it’s over. It’s up to you and no one else. If you want to see tomorrow then keep it in mind, and the body will follow. You may be painfully dragging yourself physical self/body, but it will see tomorrow.
$cam-U-Well_Jack$on
Superstar
Numerous times.
When I realized an overwhelming majority of human beings lack social awareness and are just plain stupid/easily influenced/manipulated regardless of education status, that's when I gave up. I don't have it in me to care anymore. A lot of people wont think like me and I've come to terms with it
MisterMajesty
All Star
Always. Felt defeated when I went into the boxing ring and got my ass beat the first 1000000 times, felt defeated when I lost out on many chances at true love because of my commitment issues, felt defeated when I tried as hard as I could on my writing, games, career and I still fell short.
But u know what? life ends when you say it ends. Thats the beauty of it, and when its all said and done? it will be about what you did, and not what you felt.
The latter is merely a context. Understand that none of this is ultimately permanent, the suffering, the pain, the gain, the happiness. It's all fleeting, it's all real, and its part of the process breh. You will always suffer more in your imagination, than you will real in reality. Once you grasp that fact, you'll be set in no time.
But u know what? life ends when you say it ends. Thats the beauty of it, and when its all said and done? it will be about what you did, and not what you felt.
The latter is merely a context. Understand that none of this is ultimately permanent, the suffering, the pain, the gain, the happiness. It's all fleeting, it's all real, and its part of the process breh. You will always suffer more in your imagination, than you will real in reality. Once you grasp that fact, you'll be set in no time.
LiveFromLondon
Superstar
At that point now and yeah its tough, I'm at the point of thinking if its Gods will that I'm here then do I have to fight against him to get me out this situation.
Nah breh, shyt be my own doing most often than not. The decision making that led me here. Long as I remember that I'm undefeated, against myself. Nobody giving me a loss without a cheat code I gave them. Long as I remember that I can keep going.
These are my default settings. I need to crawl out of the hole my life has become.
Elim Garak
Veteran
Sometimes yes I think we all do. If you have a clear idea and vision of what you want you have to start taking steps to make it happen.
WaveCapsByOscorp™
2021 Grammy Award Winner
Not defeated.
Considering I try to approach things from a stoic standpoint, what generally happens is that I become active when the environment is giving me feedback that suggest struggle.
So, I can’t say I feel defeated really at any point because I’m more of a guy that moves with the ebb and flow instead of a man who just makes plans using base reasoning and desires.
It’s usually when I feel like I NEED to do something that society stresses when I feel that pressure that would probably led to a defeated sense of self if I didn’t accomplish or achieve certain things.
Considering I try to approach things from a stoic standpoint, what generally happens is that I become active when the environment is giving me feedback that suggest struggle.
So, I can’t say I feel defeated really at any point because I’m more of a guy that moves with the ebb and flow instead of a man who just makes plans using base reasoning and desires.
It’s usually when I feel like I NEED to do something that society stresses when I feel that pressure that would probably led to a defeated sense of self if I didn’t accomplish or achieve certain things.
Yeah when I don't meet a goal in terms of my writing, production, sales or engagement. I always remember something my cousin told me, where there's life there's hope. So I feel like you can always change your approach or pivot somehow in life as long as you're alive an healthy.
During the pandemic, I lived in an apartment building (6 families) where me and another family were the only ones paying rent. The other 4 families barely ever paid rent way before the pandemic began. So, the landlord hated everyone and rarely fixed anything. I always paid though. The other tenants gamed the system and always hit the landlord with mad violations. One neighbor paid rent maybe twice a year. She was a professional housing court tenant.
Once pandemic hit, my neighbor reported landlord for leaky gas pipe. City shut our gas down, during pandemic we had no hot water, no gas to cook, and several things more were wrong with the building (this went on for 8 months). Though my wife and I were working, being we had three kids (4 year old, 9 year old and a 16 year old) the apartment was getting cramped and we had bad cabin fever.
We tried house hunting but we were competing with the entire NYC and many people were paying with cash and forgoing inspection. We must have gotten rejected on about 50 houses that we made offers on. I was sooo depressed. Then our refrigerator broke and the electricity in the building started to go faulty.
I was at the end of my rope, felt like less than a man, couldn't get anyone to accept our offers on houses, and I was at a really dark place. My wife and kids would go to my mother in law to shower and I would go to my mom's house. It was awful.
Once I emotionally hit rock bottom, I got offered a job promotion to supervisor and shortly after someone accepted my offer on a house. I also took my landlord to housing court and represented myself. This one went on for months, until he finally settled and paid me about 25k.
It was the darkest 8 months of my life though. Stick it you, life is about peaks and valleys. You're in a valley at the moment.
Once pandemic hit, my neighbor reported landlord for leaky gas pipe. City shut our gas down, during pandemic we had no hot water, no gas to cook, and several things more were wrong with the building (this went on for 8 months). Though my wife and I were working, being we had three kids (4 year old, 9 year old and a 16 year old) the apartment was getting cramped and we had bad cabin fever.
We tried house hunting but we were competing with the entire NYC and many people were paying with cash and forgoing inspection. We must have gotten rejected on about 50 houses that we made offers on. I was sooo depressed. Then our refrigerator broke and the electricity in the building started to go faulty.
I was at the end of my rope, felt like less than a man, couldn't get anyone to accept our offers on houses, and I was at a really dark place. My wife and kids would go to my mother in law to shower and I would go to my mom's house. It was awful.
Once I emotionally hit rock bottom, I got offered a job promotion to supervisor and shortly after someone accepted my offer on a house. I also took my landlord to housing court and represented myself. This one went on for months, until he finally settled and paid me about 25k.
It was the darkest 8 months of my life though. Stick it you, life is about peaks and valleys. You're in a valley at the moment.
Address_Unknown
Jesus Loves you...Your Cat doesn't. {#Dogset}
Been feeling like I've been slowly losing the battle, with pockets of success, happiness and even jubilation interspersed, so it was tolerable.
But the last two years or so, I saw my life change dramatically enough that, that shyt had me scraping the bottom of the barrel emotionally for a solid minute.
Got warnings from the law for pulling my blade on two nikkas, in two seperate occasions that the police linked up and wanted to charge me with criminal intent. Situation with my Mom's detoriating and directly attributing to one of them potential stabbing situations popping off (Not trying stab mah dukes, calm down). Money situation got browner and alot of nikkas I helped out in so many ways treated me like a wet food stamp, after I done helped forward moves, pay debts and loaned nikkas thinking they'd have me like I had them.
Top it all off, a breh started having chest problems that had me worried about life for a minute being
and all, that had me in a deep depression (It was ultimatey Acid Reflux, but the scenarios that happened were scary as fukk). Round the same time, I felt like the clouds were parting for a bit when I met this cute chick who genuinely fukked with me, for me, liked reading, was into videogames, could be chill and smoke weed, only for the situation to ultimately end up with me nearly getting sadled with a kid that wasn't mine, as she tried to get me to basically elope with her to England on the last bit of money I had saved up on rainy day, so she could escape her hoe past that was catching up with her, by putting a cape on my stupid ass.
I've long come to terms that for the better portion of my life, I ain't been shyt, living life as a mediocre individual that never lived up to the potential that he should have utilized, but after going through all this shyts, My mom's, job fukking me up, friends abandoning me left and right when I ran out of bread, health crashing down on me, and this Delilah that had me walking around with my nose wide open had me feeling completely worthless, man. Like worthless enough to finally commit that and go quietly into the night.
If not for my younger bro and how I know this would ultimately affect him, I'dve jumped into a Volcano off the strength of them last 2 years. Shoot myself head in the head, hanging off the end of a boat with a boat anchor that would have dragged my worthless ass down to Davy Jones locker to this seacliff I dont personally shoved many a nautical comrade/fisherman off of during sea burials.
But I'm still here. I'm still salvageable and one of the best things about being self depreciating about yourself, is that it don't take much to fix you. Things can get better, but you gotta do it more than just sit and want/pray for it, so I'm on that right now, all praises due. Hope you are too, Op.
But the last two years or so, I saw my life change dramatically enough that, that shyt had me scraping the bottom of the barrel emotionally for a solid minute.
Got warnings from the law for pulling my blade on two nikkas, in two seperate occasions that the police linked up and wanted to charge me with criminal intent. Situation with my Mom's detoriating and directly attributing to one of them potential stabbing situations popping off (Not trying stab mah dukes, calm down). Money situation got browner and alot of nikkas I helped out in so many ways treated me like a wet food stamp, after I done helped forward moves, pay debts and loaned nikkas thinking they'd have me like I had them.
Top it all off, a breh started having chest problems that had me worried about life for a minute being
and all, that had me in a deep depression (It was ultimatey Acid Reflux, but the scenarios that happened were scary as fukk). Round the same time, I felt like the clouds were parting for a bit when I met this cute chick who genuinely fukked with me, for me, liked reading, was into videogames, could be chill and smoke weed, only for the situation to ultimately end up with me nearly getting sadled with a kid that wasn't mine, as she tried to get me to basically elope with her to England on the last bit of money I had saved up on rainy day, so she could escape her hoe past that was catching up with her, by putting a cape on my stupid ass.I've long come to terms that for the better portion of my life, I ain't been shyt, living life as a mediocre individual that never lived up to the potential that he should have utilized, but after going through all this shyts, My mom's, job fukking me up, friends abandoning me left and right when I ran out of bread, health crashing down on me, and this Delilah that had me walking around with my nose wide open had me feeling completely worthless, man. Like worthless enough to finally commit that and go quietly into the night.
If not for my younger bro and how I know this would ultimately affect him, I'dve jumped into a Volcano off the strength of them last 2 years. Shoot myself head in the head, hanging off the end of a boat with a boat anchor that would have dragged my worthless ass down to Davy Jones locker to this seacliff I dont personally shoved many a nautical comrade/fisherman off of during sea burials.
Bless't
Living the dream
This is where I've been at for about the last month. Nothing excites me like it used to. Nothing.