iceberg_is_on_fire
Honolulu Blue Ski Mask Way
I actually got the idea of this thread in a weird way. My sister had a gathering at her house yesterday for co-workers and family could come over. Anyways, I went there after work in my work attire. I work in a button up and slacks. My 10 year old niece asked me why I was dressed up. I was taken aback for a minute and then I thought. My mom worked in a factory all our lives. My sister works in a different factory as my mom but all for the same company (Ford Motor Company) and they (nieces and nephews) never see me on a 'work day.' So I came to the conclusion that the exposure isn't there for them but good for them to see someone black in this light. Anyways, on to the crux of the thread.
Domestic: This is an umbrella for some things. I'm a good person, pragmatic to a fault, always willing to spend time/money to help those that can't do for themselves, with a caveat that I can teach you so that you don't always need reliance on me. I'm not religious at all despite growing up in the church. (Raised Baptist). That is probably a sticking point for me with my mom but then I'm always told that I'm better than 80% of the heathens that go every Sunday. As an individual, I know that she is proud of me in this aspect overall. My dad, intermittent in my life, this is a funny one here. He tells me that he's proud of me and I believe that it is sincere however, there isn't even one iota of credit that he can take here. Hence why he and my mom didn't last was because one head's desire of his would outweigh reason.
As a husband/father: Like many of us, he wasn't there. We've rekindled our relationship after I got older but I grew up with the burning desire that whenever I have kids, I'm going to be the father that I wish I had. My mom's parenting style is different than mine, I used to get the shyt beat out of me, lol. I've never laid a hand on my kids for example. However, my kids will hit you with the decorum and manners that have been drilled into them since day one. Insubordination on that is not an option as failure to be a decent human being reflects on me as well and I don't get down like that. One of my sisters uses me as an example to the father of her daughter when she feels that he is slipping in the area of parenthood. As a husband, I'm devoted and faithful. I respect my wife, even when I totally disagree with what she says as we always have a forum to air out differences in opinion. I've seen domestic violence so I know that my mom would have been disappointed in me had she known that I committed it as well. Again, I know that I'm good in her eyes here. Same with my father. Last summer he was here for a few days and we were in the backyard throwing a football around, my ten year old boy can launch one and my dad was surprised. It's because I stuck one in his hands since the age of two and we've done stuff like that since then.
Education: I'm the oldest of three, only male of the group. Mom has some college, father as well. Neither of my sisters never went to college. I was the one that always excelled in school. I had a roundabout way to my education but ultimately, I have ended up with an MBA and two bachelor degrees. I believe that whatever thoughts my parents may have had for me, back when I was in high school and all I heard was the refrain of 'Go to college" from them, I've surpassed. Speaking on just pure time in secondary school, I'm the most educated person in my entire family, extended as well. Both sides. If something negative was said here, it would be out of spite or hating honestly. However, given what I've just said, they both would tell you that they aren't surprised here and that I've met the expectations that they thought I could achieve.
Career: Of this, I honestly don't know. Factory life is what my family knows so I'm outside of that space. I think my folks sometimes lives vicariously through me at times when I tell them things. They know what I make and both have simply said that it is absurd. Anyways, having a job, keeping it and being able to support my family was likely the logical expectation. To the ability that I'm able to do so is likely something that they never envisioned. As an hourly worker, you have a defined salary. I'm salaried, I don't. This is not a humble brag but the reality of it, I'm a black guy from inner city Detroit and usually, because of circumstance/opportunity/whatever, you don't get to where I've been able to go, doors I've been able to walk through. Just yesterday, I just causally walked into the CEO's office yesterday, sat down and sparked up a conversation. Not too many people are in the position to do that, if they wanted to be in the first place.
So, in total, going through this was a bit of a therapeutic exercise and made me think. With the upbringing that I had, the positions my mom tried to put me in, things that she tried to expose me to, was that stuff all done in vain on her end or did I actually take heed and make something for her to be proud of and in turn to continue to set the table for my kids. I have to say yes, that I've matched or surpassed her expectations in many regards.
I'm curious to hear from the collective here.
Domestic: This is an umbrella for some things. I'm a good person, pragmatic to a fault, always willing to spend time/money to help those that can't do for themselves, with a caveat that I can teach you so that you don't always need reliance on me. I'm not religious at all despite growing up in the church. (Raised Baptist). That is probably a sticking point for me with my mom but then I'm always told that I'm better than 80% of the heathens that go every Sunday. As an individual, I know that she is proud of me in this aspect overall. My dad, intermittent in my life, this is a funny one here. He tells me that he's proud of me and I believe that it is sincere however, there isn't even one iota of credit that he can take here. Hence why he and my mom didn't last was because one head's desire of his would outweigh reason.
As a husband/father: Like many of us, he wasn't there. We've rekindled our relationship after I got older but I grew up with the burning desire that whenever I have kids, I'm going to be the father that I wish I had. My mom's parenting style is different than mine, I used to get the shyt beat out of me, lol. I've never laid a hand on my kids for example. However, my kids will hit you with the decorum and manners that have been drilled into them since day one. Insubordination on that is not an option as failure to be a decent human being reflects on me as well and I don't get down like that. One of my sisters uses me as an example to the father of her daughter when she feels that he is slipping in the area of parenthood. As a husband, I'm devoted and faithful. I respect my wife, even when I totally disagree with what she says as we always have a forum to air out differences in opinion. I've seen domestic violence so I know that my mom would have been disappointed in me had she known that I committed it as well. Again, I know that I'm good in her eyes here. Same with my father. Last summer he was here for a few days and we were in the backyard throwing a football around, my ten year old boy can launch one and my dad was surprised. It's because I stuck one in his hands since the age of two and we've done stuff like that since then.
Education: I'm the oldest of three, only male of the group. Mom has some college, father as well. Neither of my sisters never went to college. I was the one that always excelled in school. I had a roundabout way to my education but ultimately, I have ended up with an MBA and two bachelor degrees. I believe that whatever thoughts my parents may have had for me, back when I was in high school and all I heard was the refrain of 'Go to college" from them, I've surpassed. Speaking on just pure time in secondary school, I'm the most educated person in my entire family, extended as well. Both sides. If something negative was said here, it would be out of spite or hating honestly. However, given what I've just said, they both would tell you that they aren't surprised here and that I've met the expectations that they thought I could achieve.
Career: Of this, I honestly don't know. Factory life is what my family knows so I'm outside of that space. I think my folks sometimes lives vicariously through me at times when I tell them things. They know what I make and both have simply said that it is absurd. Anyways, having a job, keeping it and being able to support my family was likely the logical expectation. To the ability that I'm able to do so is likely something that they never envisioned. As an hourly worker, you have a defined salary. I'm salaried, I don't. This is not a humble brag but the reality of it, I'm a black guy from inner city Detroit and usually, because of circumstance/opportunity/whatever, you don't get to where I've been able to go, doors I've been able to walk through. Just yesterday, I just causally walked into the CEO's office yesterday, sat down and sparked up a conversation. Not too many people are in the position to do that, if they wanted to be in the first place.
So, in total, going through this was a bit of a therapeutic exercise and made me think. With the upbringing that I had, the positions my mom tried to put me in, things that she tried to expose me to, was that stuff all done in vain on her end or did I actually take heed and make something for her to be proud of and in turn to continue to set the table for my kids. I have to say yes, that I've matched or surpassed her expectations in many regards.
I'm curious to hear from the collective here.
