You didn't fukk around in the medieval Scottish Highlands. Not even the King of Scotland strode up there. The highlands were ruled by "clans", one of the bullshyt words wypipo use because "white people don't have tribes".
Pretty much the whole highlands had beef 24/7/365, but today we're talking about Clan Chatton and Clan Cameron. Chan Chatton was the Macphersons, MacBeans, Mackintoshes, Macqueens, MacIntyres, etc., while Clan Cameron was the MacMartins, MacGillonies, MacSorleys...you get the idea.
In 1337 the Mackintoshes told the Camerons that Loch Arkaig was their territory. Clan Cameron told them to roll up to the block and take it. So they brawled, with Clan Chatton winning despite numerous causalities. Modern academics say it went down basically like this:
For sixty years the clans fought over the disputed land, raiding each other's blocks and engaging in a few massive battles.
By 1396 the Scottish king Robert III
was sick of all the shyt and told the local earls to put a stop to it. They tried to get the clans to peacefully resolve their differences. 
When that failed, they rolled with, "How about we just have 30 each of your best men battle it out?"
So the two clans took a bit of land next to a river and built walls on three sides to make it a cage match. The combatants had crossbows, swords, axes, whatever the hell they wanted. It was gonna get bloody in there.
King Richard III brought his crew to the stands to watch the melee.
Clan Chattan rolled up with only 29 men, cause one of their 30 got sick or maybe was just a damn coward. All 30 men on Clan Cameron demanded that they were gonna get a piece of the fight, but Clan Chattan refused to fight a man down. It was a bit of an impasse.....
until some local brawler named Hal o’ the Wynd showed up. This Hal fool was a weapons-maker who wasn't even a part of either clan. By all accounts he was small and bow-legged, but he offered to fight for a bunch of gold and a lifetime pension, and Clan Chattan took him on.
The battle began. According to the famous historian Richard Burton, “It was the nature of these beings brought together to fly at each other like wild cats and kill in any way they could."
Imagine the scene like a damn football kickoff, the king's men blow their trumpets, bagpipes playing like pep bands (I'm not shytting you, they killed each other to the tune of fukking bagpipes), and both sides rush each other from opposite ends.
The berserkers fought for about fifteen minutes when the bagpipers on both sides made a call to retreat. Clan Chattan and Clan Cameron backed their asses up to their own sides with about 20 dead and dying men lying in the middle of the field. We're talking arms cut off and legs just lying around on the dirt, dudes with heads split in half all the way down, flesh wounds across the torso like nobody's business. Bodies bleeding out on the grass.
After a few minutes breather, the bagpipes signaled charge and they rushed each other again.
in the next round Clan Cameron really began to struggle. This little Hal o’ the Wynd mercenary fellow turned out to be a real ass-kicker, swinging this big ass two-handed broadsword left and right.
.
The fighting went on like this, fools just chopping each other up into pieces with occasional breathers in-between to keep the energy up, until finally there was only one survivor left on the Clan Cameron side. He knew he was hopeless so he jumped his ass into the river and swam away. Ten men from Clan Chattan plus the ringer Hal o’ the Wynd were still alive, although they were all pretty bad wounded.
48 of the original 60 combatants lay dead on the field.
Hal got his gold, but "The Battle of the North Inch" didn't stop the feud like the king hoped it would. Raids continued and more battles occurred. In the "Palm Sunday Massacre" of 1429, Clan Chattan took advantage of most of the men of Clan Cameron meeting in a church and "cut to pieces" nearly all of them.
For another 230 years the clans kept fighting without settling the basic question of who owned Loch Arkaig.
In 1660 Lachlan Mackintosh of Torcastle, the chief of the Mackintoshs of the Chattan Clan, made up his mind to get that damn land once and for all. He got Parliament (Scotland was now under English control) to deed the lands to him.
Clan Cameron said fukk you we ain't leaving.
In 1661 Mackintosh petitioned for a "Commission of fire and sword" against Ewen Cameron, head of Clan Cameron. That shyt was every bit as bad as it sounds, giving permission
Old school justice.
In the end the commission of fire and sword wasn't granted. The government tried to resolve the feud by ordering Clan Cameron to give Clan Chattan 72,000 merks (about $800,000 in today's dollars) as compensation for the land. Both sides refused and prepared for war.
Mackintosh of Clan Chatton went with 1500 of his men to take the land by force. Cameron brought 1200 of his men to defend it. They ended up in a standoff on opposite sides of the river, mocking each other as only the Scottish do.
The local earl sent 300 fighting men from a third group, Clan Campbell, to resolve the dispute. Mackintosh's men were tired of fighting and agreed to sell the land to Clan Cameron and permanently give up their claim. Mackintosh
thought his men were soft, but they refused to fight and he had to give in.
Clan Cameron tried to sneak up and kill some of Mackintosh's men first before taking the deal, but Clan Campbell told them that they'd join forces with Mackintosh if that happened, and Clan Cameron backed it down.
On the 20 September 1665, after 328 years of fighting, the leaders met to finalize the sale of Loch Arkaig. They marked the end of the feud by saluting each other, exchanging swords, and drinking.
However, Clan Cameron didn't actually have the money. Cameron was forced to take out loans, and 80 years later was still paying off the damn mortgage on the property.
Pretty much the whole highlands had beef 24/7/365, but today we're talking about Clan Chatton and Clan Cameron. Chan Chatton was the Macphersons, MacBeans, Mackintoshes, Macqueens, MacIntyres, etc., while Clan Cameron was the MacMartins, MacGillonies, MacSorleys...you get the idea.
In 1337 the Mackintoshes told the Camerons that Loch Arkaig was their territory. Clan Cameron told them to roll up to the block and take it. So they brawled, with Clan Chatton winning despite numerous causalities. Modern academics say it went down basically like this:
For sixty years the clans fought over the disputed land, raiding each other's blocks and engaging in a few massive battles.
By 1396 the Scottish king Robert III
When that failed, they rolled with, "How about we just have 30 each of your best men battle it out?"
So the two clans took a bit of land next to a river and built walls on three sides to make it a cage match. The combatants had crossbows, swords, axes, whatever the hell they wanted. It was gonna get bloody in there.
King Richard III brought his crew to the stands to watch the melee.
Clan Chattan rolled up with only 29 men, cause one of their 30 got sick or maybe was just a damn coward. All 30 men on Clan Cameron demanded that they were gonna get a piece of the fight, but Clan Chattan refused to fight a man down. It was a bit of an impasse.....
until some local brawler named Hal o’ the Wynd showed up. This Hal fool was a weapons-maker who wasn't even a part of either clan. By all accounts he was small and bow-legged, but he offered to fight for a bunch of gold and a lifetime pension, and Clan Chattan took him on.
The battle began. According to the famous historian Richard Burton, “It was the nature of these beings brought together to fly at each other like wild cats and kill in any way they could."
Imagine the scene like a damn football kickoff, the king's men blow their trumpets, bagpipes playing like pep bands (I'm not shytting you, they killed each other to the tune of fukking bagpipes), and both sides rush each other from opposite ends.
The berserkers fought for about fifteen minutes when the bagpipers on both sides made a call to retreat. Clan Chattan and Clan Cameron backed their asses up to their own sides with about 20 dead and dying men lying in the middle of the field. We're talking arms cut off and legs just lying around on the dirt, dudes with heads split in half all the way down, flesh wounds across the torso like nobody's business. Bodies bleeding out on the grass.
After a few minutes breather, the bagpipes signaled charge and they rushed each other again.
in the next round Clan Cameron really began to struggle. This little Hal o’ the Wynd mercenary fellow turned out to be a real ass-kicker, swinging this big ass two-handed broadsword left and right.
.
The fighting went on like this, fools just chopping each other up into pieces with occasional breathers in-between to keep the energy up, until finally there was only one survivor left on the Clan Cameron side. He knew he was hopeless so he jumped his ass into the river and swam away. Ten men from Clan Chattan plus the ringer Hal o’ the Wynd were still alive, although they were all pretty bad wounded.
48 of the original 60 combatants lay dead on the field.
Hal got his gold, but "The Battle of the North Inch" didn't stop the feud like the king hoped it would. Raids continued and more battles occurred. In the "Palm Sunday Massacre" of 1429, Clan Chattan took advantage of most of the men of Clan Cameron meeting in a church and "cut to pieces" nearly all of them.
For another 230 years the clans kept fighting without settling the basic question of who owned Loch Arkaig.
In 1660 Lachlan Mackintosh of Torcastle, the chief of the Mackintoshs of the Chattan Clan, made up his mind to get that damn land once and for all. He got Parliament (Scotland was now under English control) to deed the lands to him.
Clan Cameron said fukk you we ain't leaving.
In 1661 Mackintosh petitioned for a "Commission of fire and sword" against Ewen Cameron, head of Clan Cameron. That shyt was every bit as bad as it sounds, giving permission
Old school justice.
In the end the commission of fire and sword wasn't granted. The government tried to resolve the feud by ordering Clan Cameron to give Clan Chattan 72,000 merks (about $800,000 in today's dollars) as compensation for the land. Both sides refused and prepared for war.
Mackintosh of Clan Chatton went with 1500 of his men to take the land by force. Cameron brought 1200 of his men to defend it. They ended up in a standoff on opposite sides of the river, mocking each other as only the Scottish do.
The local earl sent 300 fighting men from a third group, Clan Campbell, to resolve the dispute. Mackintosh's men were tired of fighting and agreed to sell the land to Clan Cameron and permanently give up their claim. Mackintosh
thought his men were soft, but they refused to fight and he had to give in.Clan Cameron tried to sneak up and kill some of Mackintosh's men first before taking the deal, but Clan Campbell told them that they'd join forces with Mackintosh if that happened, and Clan Cameron backed it down.
On the 20 September 1665, after 328 years of fighting, the leaders met to finalize the sale of Loch Arkaig. They marked the end of the feud by saluting each other, exchanging swords, and drinking.
However, Clan Cameron didn't actually have the money. Cameron was forced to take out loans, and 80 years later was still paying off the damn mortgage on the property.
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