Holy ****, I'm Overhearing the Whitest Sports Conversation Ever
- Thread starter Walt
- Start date
Roaden Polynice
Superstar
You should really check those people.
This, they were doing that shyt cause they seen buddy was black.......
If only we could go back to the pure days when guys like alex karras and paul hornung bet on nfl games or the days when fine upstanding gentlemen such as Frank Filchock and Merle Hapes took bribes to fix championship games
I'm in the 5 College area in Mass right now. Very liberal area. These people mentioned in convo that at least two were from Fairfield County, CT which makes sense. There's more to the incident but I hate posting from my phone. When I get done at the gym I'll post more of what went down.
Youhadasparkwhenustarted
Superstar
In a Vietnamese restaurant, only two tables in here right now. 4 fiftysomething whites at one, me and a chick at the others.
Highlights:
*Ray Lewis, I mean give me a break - he's a coldblooded murderer.
*I can't even watch football anymore, they're barely a step from street thugs.
*They would be criminals if they weren't playing football, no question about that.
*I don't know how guys like Peyton deal with it.
*Well you know what they say... Can't play football without a ball and chain!
5 minutes later one of them says, you all really should watch The Wire, it's just fantastic.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I couldn't help myself, on our way out I walked by their table and asked if they were familair with the area, and if they knew where I could find a coffee shop called CAC. The fukked up thing is one of the two women gave me directions to a place around the corner.
Also - I swear on my life - one of the white women started singing montel jordan's THIS IS HOW WE DO IT in the middle of lunch. It was like a comedy skit on caricatures of white people.
For some reason this made me picture a white woman at the next table putting down her mayonnaise sandwich to raise the roof in unison with the other woman singing, all while wearing an overgrown snuggie and yelling " whoop whoop!" in a purposefully ironic sort of way.
She started singing this in reference to her husband having recently met with their financial advisor. She said - word for word - "I don't fuss over the details, I just need to know how many vacations I get to take this year." Then looked in her husband's face and started singing the Montell Jordan joint. My lunch date damn near choked on her pho.
Come on, Walt.
Good story tho.
:jackeenikkaplease:
This shyt is 100% actual factuals.
There was way more funkiness to the situation, from their discussions of financial planning, house-hunting, the etiquette of hosting large dinners, and the most rabidly racist woman at the table kept talking about "dope-slapping" football players and children. It was bizarre. Not to mention none of them seemed to have any clue as far as Vietnamese cuisine went. The loud, racist lady shooed away the sauces on the table and demanded salt and pepper for her noodle bowl. The waiter looked downright confused. Her husband had pho and openly mocked the lime, sprouts, and basil that came with it, wondering aloud if that was something the restaurant did to "be fancy." Nah dude, that's the traditional accoutrement, dunny.
The loud, racist lady also had this gem of a comment in response to the man at the table who wasn't her husband, when he said a new Asian fusion joint had opened in New Haven: "There's always a fusion Asian place opening somewhere. A new Chinese-Japanese fusion restaurant opened near my sister's - talk about an oxymoron!" The other lady at the table cut her off and said "I'm sure the Japanese and Chinese would disagree." To which that tactless bytch responded "they can have their delusions. It's all the same."
The same bytch who was making the racist comments was raving about Beasts of the Southern Wild and how is was so "magical" and "different" and everyone needed to see it.
My skin was crawling. I haven't encountered white people like this in person in a long fukking time. Oh, fukk, just remembered, they started talking about Flight because they were all talking about movies they had seen recently, and the dude who made the "you can't have football without the ball and chain" comment raved about how brilliant Denzel was and how he gave a great performance but it didn't quite reach the level of his performance in Malcolm X, which is one of his favorite movies ever. 
When I asked them about CAC coffee shop I told them I though it stood for Coffee and Cream, which is when the one bytch was like "oh, I think that's the one around the corner, under the scaffolding."
These people ruined and made my day at the same time. They had some other comments about football, and Ray Lewis, and criminals, but they were pretty generic.
Anyway, yeah, I had to call my homie back home, and then Reb because shorty I was with was mostly confused by what went down (I had to explain CAC to her too, she's a sheltered ass black chick, and way too decent to know that sort of term) and I knew I needed a black man with a sense of humor and anger to enjoy the details of that shyt.
and you didn't have someone videotape it and yell WORLDSTAR at the end?
If I was younger and less respectable than I like to think I've become, I would've walked right to the table and started talking some wild shyt about imperialism and the history of criminality on which America was founded while shorty with me amped it up with adlibs in the background like yeah motherfukkers, talk that shyt now!
you should hear about they excuse they give for not watching basketball.
Look, I dated a white woman once, and part of the reason I don't think I ever can do that again is that I endured some horrifically conversations with her parents on the rare occasions I'd go to their home for dinner. One time her mother began talking about how much she used to love basketball, but how she had to stop watching because "there are just too many thugs playing now." She said some typically goofy shyt about tattoos and inner cities and that sort of thing... meanwhile I used to live in a housing project, played basketball, and have a few tattoos myself. I tried to space out and just remain quiet during this kind of shyt, but invariably I'd make a comment that would shut the conversation down and lead to long spells of silence.
The War Report
NewNewYork
Look, I dated a white woman once, and part of the reason I don't think I ever can do that again is that I endured some horrifically conversations with her parents on the rare occasions I'd go to their home for dinner. One time her mother began talking about how much she used to love basketball, but how she had to stop watching because "there are just too many thugs playing now." She said some typically goofy shyt about tattoos and inner cities and that sort of thing... meanwhile I used to live in a housing project, played basketball, and have a few tattoos myself. I tried to space out and just remain quiet during this kind of shyt, but invariably I'd make a comment that would shut the conversation down and lead to long spells of silence.
Your level of tolerance is
:wow2:They didn't talk shyt about Latinos?
