How Can I successfully maintain a side chick??

[Why-Fi]

just take the D out of side, the H out of chick, and the F out of way

 

[CinnaSlim]

The reason women get different reactions with the "side dude" thing is because women have a much harder time simply having an ongoing sexual relationship with a man without letting it affect their emotions and therefore, their relationship at home. When a woman is continually having sex with another man, she will develop an emotional attachment towards that man even if she never plans to be with him or leave her boyfriend/husband for him.

Women tend to allow this emotional attachment to affect how they act at home.....and THAT is the biggest problem. If a woman starts to have an ongoing situation with another man, the respect and treatment that she gives her man tends to fall off. She tends to have less and less respect for her man because she knows that she is doing something wrong and deep down wants her man to check her for it. Women want leadership from their man, and if they're not being led or chastised for bad behavior, even bad behavior they consciously choose to engage in, they will start to have contempt for the man whose supposed to be leading her.

Men generally don't have this issue because they are not women and are not built like women. A man can cheat on his wife and never develop feelings strong enough for his side chick to affect his treatment of his wife based on his dealings with the side chick. If a man starts to deteriorate his feelings for his wife, its because he was feeling some type of way independent of the side chick....not as a result of the side chick. That's the difference.

Women are not built to be men, and it's sad that so many women today feel so apathetic towards their femininity that they take on some of the worse attributes of men in order to proclaim their equality. Women are not built to be players and they're not built to internalize sex the same way men do, which is why they tend to get attached moreso than men when engaging in sexual relationships.

Men and women are judged by two different sets of ideals because men and women are two different beings.

Peace

I hate this misconception, or maybe I'm just defective. Sex doesn't just activate some type of emotion in me. The person does. Otherwise, pornstars and prostitutes would be in love with every coworker/client.

Only time I ever got caught up in some feelings was when dude started treating me like we were in a relationship. Guys say females are the ones who catch feelings but be the first ones to start giving forehead kisses, hugs and I miss you texts. That ish throws me.

 

[Strapped]

do not do it ,your gonna break your girls heart

 

[Soundbwoy]

the gem in this thread tho

 

[FTBS]

Not sure if this has been said but why not just dump your girl and fukk who you want? If you are a real a player/boss/whatever word is popular now then you don't need to commit to chicks (or even date them really) to get that puss.

 

[Primetime21]

Parts of this thread is why I never understood why ya'll were so heavy into recruiting women to this site, cant even have a productive convo without it going off topic

 

[mcdivit85]

Basically ,which is another reason why he shouldn't be fukking around in the first place. Get your weight up first, breh. I've seen dudes at the top of their game, with their own money lose at this game your unequipped ass tryna play. Don't bite the hand that feeds u.

Thank you for saying that.

So many dudes out here have delusions of grandeur. They're not even full men, but they trying to play games that only full men can sustain to win and/or lose at. Only a man with his own can afford to play the team game or side chick game or polygamy game. A man who stays with his chick "out of convenience" i.e. "its more convenient to live with her than my mom" is not equipped for the rigors of multiple women.

Like I said, most live-in relationships fall into this realm for both the man and the woman, so neither side has the tools or wherewithal to be playing when playing around could have them on the street or back at momma's house. I'm talking to the women too....I've seen some punk a## b#tches get tossed out into them lonely streets thinking they were cute.

Peace

 

[Ronnie Lott]

no

I'm sure you can find a guide online for anything, i found a guide on how to put on your socks. Find a thread on here with women helping another woman cheat on her man (like this one).

The goalpost moving you are doing is simply

 

[mcdivit85]

Im pretty sure dude has already made this thread or someone else just like it. If you living with a girl and are dependent on her, you might wanna get your shyt together first before you start thinking about creeping. Or at least have a backup plan if shyt goes sour :usure

Exactly, playa. How you going to play around a chick that you need for survival? That's playing with fire while wearing gasoline overalls.

Get your manhood game up, be autonomous and then start thinking about having multiple women.

But dudes want to have a team while needing their chick to pay half the rent

Oh, and the same goes for these "if men can do it, then I can do it" hoes too

Don't be out here carrying around trash bags with red bottoms, spanks and weave cause you got found out trying to be a stank

Peace

 

[Ronnie Lott]

The women's guide to cheating?

That shyt is just as bad as this shyt...

The guide does not excuse OP's crappy soul....

The problem I see is that men are given a a man is being a man or even applauded for their cheating when they should be shamed...

Women are admonished (rightfully so) for their cheating


Either cheating is ALL bad or ALL good

All cheating is bad, but if any gender gets a pass for cheating, it's women. Women will cheat and will lean on the excuse of, "I wasn't getting my needs met" or some bullshyt justification like "I'm emotionally detached"

 

[mcdivit85]

I hate this misconception, or maybe I'm just defective. Sex doesn't just activate some type of emotion in me. The person does. Otherwise, pornstars and prostitutes would be in love with every coworker/client.

Only time I ever got caught up in some feelings was when dude started treating me like we were in a relationship. Guys say females are the ones who catch feelings but be the first ones to start giving forehead kisses, hugs and I miss you texts. That ish throws me.

I'm not saying there aren't women who can't have an ongoing sexual relationship without ever catching feelings. Maybe there are some....maybe you're one of them. Maybe you could have a husband and cheat with a side dude for years and still:

- Cater to your husband like always
- Never wane in your feelings for him
- Always maintain him as the head of the household and treat him as such
- Respect him 110% while cheating on him as you did before cheating on him
- Never develop any feelings for your side dude
- Check your side dude if he ever starts talking about being more than a side dude
- Cutoff your side dude at the drop of a hat if he gives you an ultimatum

Maybe you're that exceptional woman who none of this applies to.

But the majority of women that I've seen or known to cheat on their dudes and have an ongoing sexual with a man outside of their relationship, have always developed some level of attachment to said side dude. Which ended up affecting their relationship at home. Why? Because as women, sex is internalized differently than men...literally and figuratively.

And as far as the dude cupcakin with you, that dude is that dude. Kisses, hugs and texts do not mean feelings....some men do that because they think they have to. Some men are just more cupcakish than others. But even those cupcakes tend to keep feelings for wife at a whole different level than side chick....and never the two shall meet. Try going at his chick and see how quick those kisses and hugs stop for if you need a confirm.

Peace

 

[CinnaSlim]

I'm not saying there aren't women who can't have an ongoing sexual relationship without ever catching feelings. Maybe there are some....maybe you're one of them. Maybe you could have a husband and cheat with a side dude for years and still:

- Cater to your husband like always
- Never wane in your feelings for him
- Always maintain him as the head of the household and treat him as such
- Respect him 110% while cheating on him as you did before cheating on him
- Never develop any feelings for your side dude
- Check your side dude if he ever starts talking about being more than a side dude
- Cutoff your side dude at the drop of a hat if he gives you an ultimatum

Maybe you're that exceptional woman who none of this applies to.

But the majority of women that I've seen or known to cheat on their dudes and have an ongoing sexual with a man outside of their relationship, have always developed some level of attachment to said side dude. Which ended up affecting their relationship at home. Why? Because as women, sex is internalized differently than men...literally and figuratively.

And as far as the dude cupcakin with you, that dude is that dude. Kisses, hugs and texts do not mean feelings....some men do that because they think they have to. Some men are just more cupcakish than others. But even those cupcakes tend to keep feelings for wife at a whole different level than side chick....and never the two shall meet. Try going at his chick and see how quick those kisses and hugs stop for if you need a confirm.

Peace

OK, I just read the original post I replied to. I see your point but it is flawed. Every woman's action isn't dependent on a man. Every woman isn't looking for a man to lead her.

I guess my point would be that women don't necessarily harder time separating emotions from sex. My 2nd point is men and women differ in why they cheat.

Women in general aren't looking for variety, a different dude every night. We are looking for the best. If main dude ain't acting right, then she may start looking for alternatives. Or even if she wasn't looking, she may meet someone she considers could be the next one.

Some women, if they can't find it all in one man, they will have a different man for different needs.

A lot of times, women are just looking for someone to blow their back out and nothing more. It's all about motive and mindset.

And the reason why a woman would change how she feels about her husband is if he's not fulling his needs or another man is doing it better than his value diminishes. We don't need to have extra men around for no reason that aren't benefitting us. Its not a numbers game with us. Women have different priorities then men. Quality over quantity.

 

[El negrito de tejas]

Your living with your woman and you want a side piece?
Man you crazy, must want a death sentence or to be paying for an apartment your not living in anymore.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Having side relationships never work. Somewhere down the line, either you or her gonna catch feelings and that will be a recipe for disaster. Men wanna always think they on some playa shyt until those calls and texts go unanswered. And the women wanna think that they are in control until those calls and texts go unanswered. No win situation for all parties involved. I sincerely hope you have no kids with your main chick.

@ the bolded.

Been there, bruh. Those unanswered texts and calls can cut your soul deep and destroy what little vestiges remain of you that convinced yourself that you a playa.

 

[El negrito de tejas]

And trust me when I say eventually they start to get bold the longer y'all keep it going.

I had to let 2 of mines go.
one got mad cause I told her I was done fooling around with her and she threatened to tell my girl if I didn't go over to her apartment to "talk".

The other was just reckless inviting me to a swinger resort for a 3 day weekend. And trying to get me to go to a sex party that was in Houston.

They get too comfortable man and get real bold.