How can men get over emotional baggage?

[SeveroDrgnfli]

maybe the best we can do is advocate for legalized prostitution. Least that way, men can release their frustration sexually, without violence and without the possibility of facing jail time.

Violent sexual frustration and jail time? That's not popping in Harlem.

 

[Prince Mongo]

Drugs, weed, alcohol. At least for me. I'm depressed if I'm not intoxicated in some form

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

I have some reservation about this. There are men who don't respect women who land them. Hell so called misogynists bed women and don't respect them. So I don't know if this is always true.

You ever consider that those women don't respect themselves or aren't consistently shown respect so they don't expect or demand it?

 

[Ineedmoney504]

This is legit the most bytch made ass thread I ever read on the coli. And I never seen any of these posters before. Who the fukk is these corny fukk nikkaz man. This gotta be a ill ass troll thread

 

[Draje]

I realized this lesson long ago, but, at age 30, I still have a soft spot for black women. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's cause I've never slept with one and lately I've just been kinda desperate to have that experience. I've wasted a lot of time and energy over the past couple months chasing them, only to be rejected.

It pissed me off because they always claim that black men get rejected for pursuing women out of their league when that's far from my experience. Yesterday I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha". This has happened to me multiple times with black women of all types, so it's not because I'm pursuing the wrong types. I think it's more likely that I'm just not meant to be with one.

I never thought it would come to this but someday imma order me the baddest black escort in my city, all over her face and be done with it. From now on, I'm only using them for sex - - that's all they're really good for. Aside from the women in my immediate family, I just don't care about them.

So the reason you're trying to get a black girl is because you never fukked one and wanna see what it's like? And you think that, outside of the black women in your family, they're only good to get nut busted on their faces and sent away?

fukk you, your bytch of a daddy who didn't raise you, and your mom who should aborted you.

Ps. This might be a cac. How many black women you know that use alpha / beta / redpill terminology?

 

[International Playa]

Gymmmmmmmm is the solution to men's most problems

 

[Neuromancer]

You ever consider that those women don't respect themselves or aren't consistently shown respect so they don't expect or demand it?

That is a possibility. Thus op's problem shouldn't be that, this is what I'm saying.

 

[Terrance Curtis Beasley]

Hit the gym and chase money not hoes

 

[TheArchitect]

Ive realized personally any emotional baggage i do have came from social anxiety i had growing up. I was very timid, but I wasn't necessarily getting bullied and shyt. But as far as females went, i was getting dragged through the dirt on a constant basis.

After a while I developed a pessimistic attitude towards females in general, even to this day. I couldnt even tell you where on the heirarchy I am. I guess I'm not bad looking, I've gotten compliments out of nowhere ans shyt, but I'm very unmotivated for the chase. The few times I did win were not worth the time at all (For christ sake, I could of busted a better nut using Palma and Handgela).

So now, I have a LITTLE motivation (started a job on the beach), but I just have to find a way to kick this anxiety for good. Its not as bad as it was, but still bad enough to where it needs to be addressed still. Funny thing is, no one knows about that shyt. I only shared it on here, never with anyone in real life. All I know is that shyts BEEN gotten old, and its prevented from living a normal life.

One thing I noticed about anxiety is this: Lets say you're about to spar, and you're nervous. You're thinking how bad you're going to get hurt, how much better the other guy is, etc. But once the bell rings, and you touch gloves, it kinda allllllll goes awaaaay.....

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

That is a possibility. Thus op's problem shouldn't be that, this is what I'm saying.

I see.

 

[mbewane]

In general men all over the world are not thaught to deal with their emotions on one side ("Suck it up", "Be a man" etc) which leads to frustration adding up. I think it's even worse now when we see all the attention given to women's feelings etc, while men still have to shut up AND also see their position in society questionned. I think there used to be some kind of social contract that men would have a leading spot, but in return had to shut up about their feelings, while it was the opposite for women. Well, now women can have a leading role too (as they should) BUT can still express more freely their feelings and get compassion for it. While men have lost a little bit of their leading position without any gains in being socially acceptable to express their feelings more. Lose-lose. Just look at any random thread on the coli talking about men's emotions.

And indeed society tends to either portray women as promiscuous sexual objects or as holier-than-thou saints. Neither is true, but men get burnt in both cases: they are frown upon for pursuing the former (and burn themselves for pursuing lust over love) and realize that the myth of the "nice girl" was a big lie.

So I think there are two things : no real "support group" for men to speak about their emotions, and a distorted image of how women really are/want.

 

[Neuromancer]

So I think there are two things : no real "support group" for men to speak about their emotions, and a distorted image of how women really are/want.

I think this is a great point.

 

[Urbanmiracle]

I agree about the support group. Men are basically taught that emotions are traits of the weak and told to bottle them up. But we feel and we do emote and since we taught never to acknowledge them, we don't know how to handle them correctly.

I think it's just a lot of broken people in the world who need healing. People walk around with this Disney like view of the world and when reality hits you in the face with hatred, lies, mistrust, sexual experimentation, and no sense of self, also rejection, people become bitter and dejected. I know I have. To this day I still don't trust any of these harlots. But I try to remain positive and get back out there and try. It's a game and you gotta be in it to win it. Luckily for me, I have my pops and my aunts and friends I can trust with my feelings to confide in. I think most people just want to express themselves without judgement. They just want to be heard. I used to try to solve everyone problems but in reality, they just wanted me to listen to them which made them feel better because their existence was validated. We gotta heal and be real to each other.

 

[Solo ✧✦✧]

Giving more attention towards improvement and positivity while giving less attention towards women and negativity works for me. Too many men give women too much attention and power. Even if they're not giving them power to reject them or screw them over in a relationship they still allow their attitude and self esteem to revolve around women. Men that constantly complain about a lack of attention from women are the type of men I'm talking about. It's fine to vent or complain about the opposite sex from time to time, but men that do this regularly are holding themselves back in my opinion. It can lead to slowly convincing yourself to give up even if they don't realize it. It helps to ignore women and men that promote negative traits and a feeling of worthlessness. An example is listening to people that prop up sex with women and put down men that don't get attention from women. Of course reading this type of stuff is going to bring down your attitude

It's not just about getting in a gym or chasing money. There are multiple ways to improve. Men can improve their appearance, social skills, status, finances, hobbies, attitude etc.... Having a positive or at least decent attitude helps with improvement and cutting out negativity leads to a more positive attitude.

 

[Heafcliffe]

To answer the question, keeping oneself busy always helped a breh out.