How close are you with your siblings?

[Mr. Jack Napier]

Pretty close, not talk everyday close.

 

[ChatGPT-5]

fb friends.


my oldest sister hits me up when she wants to gossip about family shyt tho.

 

[murksiderock]

Those of you who had siblings who disowned the family, why did they do so?

My April '92 sis cut herself off from us a half-decade or so ago, maybe a little more. She grew up back and forth from Sac to San Diego with my January '96 brother, they were tight, and she was a big influence on my October '99 sis and her sis on her mom side when she was growing up...

She and I didn't grow up together so there's no relationship there even though we only 3 years apart. As with everyone else I wish I could have been there for her...

She married a white man and moved to LA 5, 6 years ago and that's the last anyone on this side heard from her. The prevailing notion is she has some real beef with our father, but she didn't tell anyone she was leaving so it's just the best guess. She has real issues with him so just cut off his entire side of the family...

Her absence has really affected my January '96 brother because they grew up together, he's been the one on this side who has taken her leaving the hardest...

Another thing is, I have two sisters married to white men (April '92 and October '99), and the prevailing theory with that is rooted in daddy issues. The sis in LA has two kids with her white boy that we know of, and there's a thing where we think her issues with our dad caused her to date white. My October '99 sis has no kids, only been married a year and change, and has a good relationship with our dad, but we think there may be some underlying shyt with that too...

My August '98 Trans sis is on my mom's side, and she has been with a white boy for a few years. She don't fukk with our mom...

Me and older bro grew up together...

August '90 grew up with his two siblings on his dad's side...

April '92 sis and January '96 bro grew up together...

February '93 bro, July '94 bro, and August '98 Trans sis grew up together...

September '96 sis grew up with her two brothers on her mom's side...

October '99 grew up with her older sister and two younger brothers on her mom's side...

January '03 has the same mom and dad as October '99 but got put up for adoption and grew up as an only child...

My January '09 sis has an older sister via her dad, that is 33 like me, and last I heard they have a real close relationship...

My March '11 sis has grown up with her brother on her mom's side...

That's 9 different families for a total of 13 siblings. This shyt makes me sad...

 

[Oldschooler]

My older brother (April '88)
Me (June '89)
Brother (August '90)
Sister (April '92)
Brother (February '93)
Brother (July '94)
Brother (January '96)
Sister (September '96)
Trans Sister (August '98)
Sister (October '99)
Sister (January '03)
Sister (January '09)
Sister (March '11)

Out of my 12 siblings, + me making 13 total, we have 5 different mothers among us, and 6 different fathers among us. All of us were born in Sacramento except two of us, but currently we all live in 5 different states, and 10 different cities...

Three of my brothers are currently locked up: my bro right under me, August '90, has been locked up in Georgia since May 2016 and is serving a 20 year sentence; February '93 just got locked up again two weeks ago in Georgia on a gun charge and he was on probation, so he's about to do a few years and he's generally in and outta jail 3-4 times a year for bullshyt for the past 7 years or so, so he's been throwing darts at the pen and they finally about to take him in...

And January '96 been locked up in California since December 2020, he's getting out in August of '23...

As you can imagine with so many different parent groups we all grew up fractured and the closeness of us as a group is fractured. I don't even know my two youngest sisters----->January '09 lives in Tucson with her father and he's cut communication with our mom; and March '11 is in state custody in Kansas, because our father is in prison in Washington until '27 at minimum, her mom died two years ago, and her mom's mom who had custody of her died early this year and her grandfather has Alzheimers. My September '96 Sister thought of making a play to be her guardian but she lost her baby this past summer and abandoned it, and our grandmother says she's too old (69) and doesn't have the means to take her in...

So I don't even know my two youngest sisters...

I have a working relationship with all the rest of my siblings except April '92, who basically separated herself from our side of the family (dad) and doesn't talk to anyone. But I'm not particularly close to anyone, when we talk we talk, when we see each other we see each other...

February '93 is probably my closest of the bunch but he's in Georgia and always in and outta jail. My older brother is the only one here in NC with me, he's an hour away in Fayetteville and when yall hear me reference my stepparents, and how I got to the East Coast, it's his dad and his dad's wife, who I regard as parents and definitely have that kinda relationship with. I see my brother a few times a month when I take my daughters to see my parents, but my brother and I don't talk on the phone or text, we aren't particularly close, I just see him more than everyone else because he's the only one in NC...

My August '90 bro and I were pretty tight before he got locked up. Me and my Trans Sister and my September '96 Sister are tight in the sense that when we talk, it's for hours and when we see each other, it's very lit but we only speak 3-5 times a year, maybe text each other 10 times a year. They both still in Sac, never been out East, I haven't been to Sac since '18 so I only see them when I go home...

Everyone else we talk from time to time but we aren't close...

Having to think about this makes me sad if I'm completely honest. No kid asks to be here or given the circumstances they are given, and you learn to do the best with what you have. I had a pretty traumatic upbringing, so did a few others of my siblings (my older brother, April '92 sis, February '93 bro, January '96 bro, September '96 sis, and clearly my March '11 sis has been dealt a rough early hand at life). I'm the second oldest out of all of my siblings, and I wish life made it so I could have been there for everyone, it's hard to explain but I carry a small weight of responsibility for everything they've gone thru, that I couldn't be there to protect them...

And you realize how many black families aren't this fractured, and resent your parents for doing this shyt to us, but then you realize how many of us DO come from this background, and it hurts my heart. It hurts my heart for every black child who came up in dysfunction because when that's all you know, you have to teach yourself to unlearn it and you need help doing so...

I'm 33 and still learning to sever the cords of dysfunction that were planted before I even knew what they were doing to me...

I don't talk to any of my siblings much but I love them all tremendously and wish I had the opportunity to be the big brother so many of them needed at different parts of their lives...

Breh this is sad i feel for you man but at the same time here's to hoping you learned from your parents and step parents mistakes and get yourself together for your own family one day. Growing up in dysfunction makes you more resilient. It's important you find yourself a good woman and dont make similar mistakes.

This type of family dysfunction is why the black american community has been destroyed and its all due to systemic racism in our elders generation. I mean this as no pun to you.

 

[east]

i randomly go weeks or months without talking to my siblings for no reason but that's just our nature (avoidant attachment), we're still ride or die

 

[hostsamurai]

I don't care for my older sister at all. Haven't had a conversation in several years. We both still live at home. No childhood memories at all, no ties.

I have dozens of priorities that come before my "family". When I eventually leave the house or if my mom actually returns to her home country I will become estranged.

 

[dr. pill biden]

i’m the youngest but me and my brothers are all cool but not like super super tight. we all had our own lives and friend groups but at the end of the day family is family. if i lived in the same city i’d see them more but whenever i come home to see our parents we always link. we going to vegas together next year

 

[murksiderock]

Breh this is sad i feel for you man but at the same time here's to hoping you learned from your parents and step parents mistakes and get yourself together for your own family one day. Growing up in dysfunction makes you more resilient. It's important you find yourself a good woman and dont make similar mistakes.

This type of family dysfunction is why the black american community has been destroyed and its all due to systemic racism in our elders generation. I mean this as no pun to you.

No offense taken bruh, and like I said I'm still evolving and learning how to break the threads of dysfunction myself...

One of the biggest, and maybe THE most dysfunctional trait I have that I'm working out, is that I've been attracting women like my mothers my whole adult life. And it's caused me trouble I wouldn't have had otherwise...

My mothers were both violent, both narcissistic, both vile, habitual, dangerous liars, both deceptive and manipulative. And almost every woman I've dated has had a few of the worst traits of my mothers within them, including both of the mothers of my daughters...

I probably first realized this going into The Pandemic, roughly, so 3 years or so ago. Before then I didn't even make the connection, and given it took me to age 30 to recognize this was happening, I'm still unlearning it. I'm making some progress, and once I can kill the toxicity I have that draws these kind of women to me, I think I'll never look back...

Man I could make an entire thread on this very crucial topic itself...

I have three daughters with two women, so one misstep I made that both my mom and dad also made was my kids growing up separately. Understanding that isn't a mistake I can erase, I'm doing everything in my power to build relationships from my two oldest daughters, to my youngest. This I'd a problem I created, so it's a responsibility I bear, I have no issue with accountability...

I grew up all over the place and in different homes with different relatives while both my parents were everywhere except with me---->my mom was mostly in Sac but wasn't with us, and also was in LA and Georgia while I was growing up; my dad was in and outta Sac and also in Portland, Dallas, and Washington...

My parents have 13 kids between them, and one thing I knew early on I wasn't going to do, was be all over the map away from my kids while they are growing up, because I know how it affected me, and I know how it's affected most of my siblings. Ideally I'd love to be back in California or Virginia Beach, but my daughters were all born in North Carolina. This is where they are growing up, I can't voluntarily move away from them, I won't. My oldest kids' mother flirts with the idea of moving to Orlando, hasn't happened yet and if it does then I recalibrate where I am physically, but as it stands all my daughters are in Raleigh and Fayetteville NC, so I'm here too. My parents made sure I was raised by other people in homes they weren't in, in cities and states they weren't in...

I won't make that mistake with my girls...

That woman who I need, who I want, is out there, right now it's just fixing everything with myself so that we can feed each others spirits in all positivity...

One of the realizations my life taught me is that this shyt happened to Black America by design. We were broken up and split upon introduction to this land, that's how we learned to exist here and it's been generational over centuries. I'd love to hear the families who come from this and broke it, I don't know any, but thats what I'm trying to do. But this happened by design, and as a community if that's what has been taught to you over generations, "broken families" isn't really a problem to you...

I hate this for us as a people but evolving in my tiny role to reverse this for my children...

 

[King Poetic]

Haven’t talk to my older sister in over 5 years and probably never will again ever since I found out she stopped talking to her daughter /my niece because she wanted her daughter to live a life she wants to design for her and till this day she haven’t even met her granddaughter and shes 3

But what really ended everything she never showed up to my dads funeral or even call mom..