How did having a girlfriend impact your finances?

[RiverCity916]

Mine improved lol

 

[re'up]

Bumping this classic thread because I missed out on it originally. When my girl and I moved in, we said we would split rent 50/50 and we would take turns on groceries, we both cook, but I cook more. The relationship is basically 70/30 after that, because if we go out on dates etc, I pay for everything, and she'll chip in sometimes.

We sat down and looked at my finances and I said I can get you the ring by August, but I have credit card debt I'm trying to pay off as well and also save because a wedding and eventually us buying a house will be expensive and traveling and investing in our passion to leave corporate all cost money.

So we just paid rent, and she's telling me we need to start looking for summer plans and trips. I say yea we can look at it but I probably won't buy a ticket until my next check. Yesterday she blew up because she wants to go all the way to Harlem for church Sunday and then go to Ricardo's steakhouse after for brunch. Now bare in mind, the last time she was there she saw Lala Anthony and I heard about it again from Ochocinco talking about coming to Harlem to fight Camron and he will be there. My thing is, why do I have to pay $200+ for brunch and commute an hour when that can be used for our trip. In her mind, we need to do both, but I'm not rich.

Jim Jones shouts that spot out on This Is Harlem on the new shyt, LOL, I'd want to hit that spot too....

Too many variables to accurate call this. When I had a girlfriend, because of circumstances that weren't on her, I was making less. I wasn't as straight that year, because I was working two jobs, basically, putting a lot money and effort for a longer term payoff.

Anyway, what bothered me the most, was the EXPECTATION that I would just pay for everything. And she could be generous too, paid for my dinner on my birthday at Merois LA, which had to be like $400, but $100 of that was probably her drinks. What I didn't like was the more frequent "Hey get me a glass of wine babe" at the bar, or "hey I'm ready to go, call an Uber". Get that shyt yourself. But, a lot of that is centered around gender roles and princess kind of thinking. It's not all on her, it's a larger social thing.

 

[Marc Spector]

My finances arent as optimal as I would like. I would be saving more if my GF didnt live with me. I have her only paying the power bill (which is no more than like $150 a month) but i pay for everything else.

My reasoning was my girl didnt come from any sort of stability and basically was raised in survival mode. Loving, but chaotic family run by a single mom and virtually no other men outside of her grandfather. College educated but no real knowledge of how the world worked (especially money). Never honed her living skills (she doesnt cook and isnt organized like I am). Didnt even know she was paying interest on her car note until I mentioned it to her.

So when we shacked up after years of LDR, I wanted her to start stacking bread (her salary doubled when she moved in with me due to West Coast inflation), pay her car off, and get her student loans stabilized. We have lived together for 18 months and shes saved about 40k and will have her car paid off this month. Student loans are in the PSLF program (for who knows how long with DOGE running things).

I will soon talk with her about expanding her contribution to the household, namely with more money for groceries/food.

Why I am sharing this is: I am only doing all of this for her because I believe in my girl and believe she just needs guidance. My girl adores me and shows a appreciation, understanding, and support that I didnt think was possible. But more importantly, any time we have conflict, she shows a willingness to compromise and/or capitulate and shows potential to incrementally grow into someone who fulfils more of my needs.

So in return, I am willing to sacrifice a little bit financially as I coach her up. My money is really good. I have no debt, a six figure salary and have six figures saved up. I can take a little bit of pain. And she doesnt ask for much. She isnt addicted to luxury or vacations or going out.

Call me a simp, idc and true enough, if it ended tomorrow, shed be the financial winner. But I think one aspect of nurturing a relationship is being able to meet people where they are at and have the love/patience to work with them. All of us are imperfect (ive done my share of fukkery too, ftr ) and need help/guidance/support with our issues.


But I also understand that boundaries are important and many folks will not come down from a very fiscally conservative stance. I likely will not do this again if me and her dont work.

 

[maxamusa]

The video is unavailable. But all of my girlfriends have helped me get my $$$ up. I've been Up and down. Never dealt with no gold digging type of girlfriends cause I never had it like that to begin with.

 

[maxamusa]

Mine improved lol

Facts....a good girlfriend will motivate and help you boost your situation

 

[maxamusa]

My finances arent as optimal as I would like. I would be saving more if my GF didnt live with me. I have her only paying the power bill (which is no more than like $150 a month) but i pay for everything else.

My reasoning was my girl didnt come from any sort of stability and basically was raised in survival mode. Loving, but chaotic family run by a single mom and virtually no other men outside of her grandfather. College educated but no real knowledge of how the world worked (especially money). Never honed her living skills (she doesnt cook and isnt organized like I am). Didnt even know she was paying interest on her car note until I mentioned it to her.

So when we shacked up after years of LDR, I wanted her to start stacking bread (her salary doubled when she moved in with me due to West Coast inflation), pay her car off, and get her student loans stabilized. We have lived together for 18 months and shes saved about 40k and will have her car paid off this month. Student loans are in the PSLF program (for who knows how long with DOGE running things).

I will soon talk with her about expanding her contribution to the household, namely with more money for groceries/food.

Why I am sharing this is: I am only doing all of this for her because I believe in my girl and believe she just needs guidance. My girl adores me and shows a appreciation, understanding, and support that I didnt think was possible. But more importantly, any time we have conflict, she shows a willingness to compromise and/or capitulate and shows potential to incrementally grow into someone who fulfils more of my needs.

So in return, I am willing to sacrifice a little bit financially as I coach her up. My money is really good. I have no debt, a six figure salary and have six figures saved up. I can take a little bit of pain. And she doesnt ask for much. She isnt addicted to luxury or vacations or going out.

Call me a simp, idc and true enough, if it ended tomorrow, shed be the financial winner. But I think one aspect of nurturing a relationship is being able to meet people where they are at and have the love/patience to work with them. All of us are imperfect (ive done my share of fukkery too, ftr ) and need help/guidance/support with our issues.


But I also understand that boundaries are important and many folks will not come down from a very fiscally conservative stance. I likely will not do this again if me and her dont work.

I'm married.....I can no problem cover everything. I make wifey cover shyt just off GP.


Don't get 2 comfortable

 

[maxamusa]

Had several women sprung off heavy dikk, charm and personality, trying to have my children, and I don't try. If I didn't end it, my wife would still be trying to pump out kids like her life depends on it. They all came after me.

I got no game some bytches understand my story

Hands down the realest bar of all time. Repped

 

[maxamusa]

Bumping this classic thread because I missed out on it originally. When my girl and I moved in, we said we would split rent 50/50 and we would take turns on groceries, we both cook, but I cook more. The relationship is basically 70/30 after that, because if we go out on dates etc, I pay for everything, and she'll chip in sometimes.

We sat down and looked at my finances and I said I can get you the ring by August, but I have credit card debt I'm trying to pay off as well and also save because a wedding and eventually us buying a house will be expensive and traveling and investing in our passion to leave corporate all cost money.

So we just paid rent, and she's telling me we need to start looking for summer plans and trips. I say yea we can look at it but I probably won't buy a ticket until my next check. Yesterday she blew up because she wants to go all the way to Harlem for church Sunday and then go to Ricardo's steakhouse after for brunch. Now bare in mind, the last time she was there she saw Lala Anthony and I heard about it again from Ochocinco talking about coming to Harlem to fight Camron and he will be there. My thing is, why do I have to pay $200+ for brunch and commute an hour when that can be used for our trip. In her mind, we need to do both, but I'm not rich.

Homie there is a lot of red flags right here......IDK breh

 

[T-K-G]

Homie there is a lot of red flags right here......IDK breh

This multiple instances of her being more important than the unit, just give him a lil grace in his birthday and he good for the rest of the year

 

[Ohene]

My finances arent as optimal as I would like. I would be saving more if my GF didnt live with me. I have her only paying the power bill (which is no more than like $150 a month) but i pay for everything else.

My reasoning was my girl didnt come from any sort of stability and basically was raised in survival mode. Loving, but chaotic family run by a single mom and virtually no other men outside of her grandfather. College educated but no real knowledge of how the world worked (especially money). Never honed her living skills (she doesnt cook and isnt organized like I am). Didnt even know she was paying interest on her car note until I mentioned it to her.

So when we shacked up after years of LDR, I wanted her to start stacking bread (her salary doubled when she moved in with me due to West Coast inflation), pay her car off, and get her student loans stabilized. We have lived together for 18 months and shes saved about 40k and will have her car paid off this month. Student loans are in the PSLF program (for who knows how long with DOGE running things).

I will soon talk with her about expanding her contribution to the household, namely with more money for groceries/food.

Why I am sharing this is: I am only doing all of this for her because I believe in my girl and believe she just needs guidance. My girl adores me and shows a appreciation, understanding, and support that I didnt think was possible. But more importantly, any time we have conflict, she shows a willingness to compromise and/or capitulate and shows potential to incrementally grow into someone who fulfils more of my needs.

So in return, I am willing to sacrifice a little bit financially as I coach her up. My money is really good. I have no debt, a six figure salary and have six figures saved up. I can take a little bit of pain. And she doesnt ask for much. She isnt addicted to luxury or vacations or going out.

Call me a simp, idc and true enough, if it ended tomorrow, shed be the financial winner. But I think one aspect of nurturing a relationship is being able to meet people where they are at and have the love/patience to work with them. All of us are imperfect (ive done my share of fukkery too, ftr ) and need help/guidance/support with our issues.


But I also understand that boundaries are important and many folks will not come down from a very fiscally conservative stance. I likely will not do this again if me and her dont work.

The key from everything you mentioned is that she shows appreciation/adoration and is cooperative during times of conflict. When a man is doing well for himself that’s all he really asks for if he is taking care of his woman.

As soon as she stops showing appreciation or becomes combative it’s very difficult to stomach or justify the burden you are taking on but when she is good it feels worth it. I speak from experience. Good shyt breh. Good luck with the future discussion regarding her contribution

 

[DaddyFresh]

I would be up 100k easyI if I stayed single. Never again. Casually date at best and we def not wining and dining.