How do you deal with a dying parent

[FeloniousMonk]

I just lost my grandmoms NYE at 95.

I watched her code out right in front of me.

I'm tearing up as I write this...

 

[Dr. Acula]

Sorry you're going through this man. Sounds like a horrible situation. Hope people who can relate provide you with helpful advice. Stay strong brother.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Spend all the time you can with her. Try and make her exit as good as possible. All you really can do

Sorry for this breh.

 

[bangbreh]

Deepest condolences, breh.
I've got 2 1/2 years sober and trying to make up for lost time for all my years of "shenanigans" as ma dukes would say.
There ain't a fear in this world I have more than this very situation.
I hope when that day comes that I will be able to maintain with a sense of resolve that will give me strength during that time.
I hope the same for you.
Leave no loose ends. Pullin for you brother.

 

[WaveMolecules]

nothing will prepare you. just enjoy her presence.

#1 don’t outsource your emotions to the Coli. Go spend time with your mom

#2 be respectful. If she doesn’t want to tell you the severity of her condition, be there with and for her. Maybe she doesn’t want to deal with her own mortality. It’s not for you to judge her

#3 help her estate plan. Get her wishes on video and on paper and get it notarized. Sure it sounds silly and but it’s reality and you want to do everything you can to make sure that if/when she transitions over that you are doing what she would have wanted

#4 tell her how much she means to you

great advice.

 

[SupaHotIce]

I was 14 at the time when I had to deal with that. It didn't hit me hard because I saw her growing weak and I think I just accepted what was going to happen.

She spent her last month at my grandparents house and my only regret in life is being too lazy to go and visit once

Just spend as much time with her as you can

 

[old pig]

#1 don’t outsource your emotions to the Coli. Go spend time with your mom

#2 be respectful. If she doesn’t want to tell you the severity of her condition, be there with and for her. Maybe she doesn’t want to deal with her own mortality. It’s not for you to judge her

#3 help her estate plan. Get her wishes on video and on paper and get it notarized. Sure it sounds silly and but it’s reality and you want to do everything you can to make sure that if/when she transitions over that you are doing what she would have wanted

#4 tell her how much she means to you

#5 don’t dwell on it now but remember the “family” members who couldn’t be bothered to support/help you...cuz that’s really unfortunate to hear

 

[MikelArteta]

I pray your mother recovers

 

[nkb97]

I know I can't relate (both parents still here), but try to stay as strong as you can breh; as hard as it is. She would want you to . Just enjoy her presence while she's here. Wish you the best breh

 

[Wildhundreds]

#1 don’t outsource your emotions to the Coli. Go spend time with your mom

#2 be respectful. If she doesn’t want to tell you the severity of her condition, be there with and for her. Maybe she doesn’t want to deal with her own mortality. It’s not for you to judge her

#3 help her estate plan. Get her wishes on video and on paper and get it notarized. Sure it sounds silly and but it’s reality and you want to do everything you can to make sure that if/when she transitions over that you are doing what she would have wanted

#4 tell her how much she means to you

Yeah.. You definitely don't want to end up in probate court..

 

[kdslittlebro]

I’m not a crying dude, but even the thought of either of my parents being on a short deadline gets me a little misty especially moms.

Not what you asked for but I feel for you breh.

 

[director_of_bands]

the hardest part for me was dealing with family friends and relatives and having to answer questions and explain sht over and over and over to soooooo many people and having to entertain people that pop up at your house to pay respects for weeks upon weeks as the news travels.. because im not a people person at all but kept it friendly in honor of my lost parent...they dont really help through the grieving process they just add to it ( imo )

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

I hope and pray that somehow your mom can pull through this and be healthy once more.

Your strength right now is absolutely important. You have to be on point in terms of handling whatever business needs to be handled for her. But at the same time like everyone said make her laugh, smile, be real with her, just offer your fullest self to her. If she can’t have more time then at least let her have good times with her son.

When my dad had his heart attacks, I can’t really even explain where my mind was. I was hurt but I was incredibly calm and focused. He always talked to me about being strong if anything ever happened. But when you see a parent in that situation it’s as if all the years of love and care that they gave you is returned to them in these moments. I was with my dad everyday I could be until he got better. I made him laugh, I talked about the fukkery I had going on so he could feel young again, I wrote him a poem, anything I could for him do I did it.

Be at your best bro, stay strong, and keep your faith. I’m hoping and praying for the best for you and your mom.

 

[invalid]

Sorry breh that you are going through this. Think there has been some great advice given to you already.

Although, I have not experienced the death of a parent and hope to not do so anytime soon, it may be helpful to sit down with a grief group now to help walk you through the transition. You can ask all the questions you need and get everything off your chest with a group of people that has been through what you’re going through and whom could give you some real-time feedback and advice. I would assume that it would be a very therapeutic experience in that most people may enter grief groups after a love one has died but to do so before it could help you better cope and deal with it before, during, and after the transition of your loved one.

 

[97Pac]

I genuinely thank everyone thats taken time to reply. I definitely got some advice I can use. Ive always been the jokester in my family so her and I got some good laughs earlier today. I bought in one of my deceased grandmothers wigs and put it on her, we got a good laugh out of it. She has been acting out of character and I know she is scared but she has always been strong.

If I hadn't talked to the doctor myself she would have never told me what was going down. I honestly lived a wild life and never once thought I would out live her.

We've never been super close but Im making an effort to make these last days count. I live two hours away from her so ill be going down every weekend.

If you still have your parents make an effort to make some lasting memories with them. Im my mothers only child and she raised me as a single mom so the only thing giving me any comfort is knowing we made a lot of good memories.