captains log
stardate 1705.0 00:13:53
arriving fresh from a pleasure voyage to Psi 2000, we were alerted to a Fat Hairy bytch warning on the fourth moon of Jupiter. as we docked, we noticed enormous footprints the size of tennis rackets dotting the landscape. the fat bytch had to be here for sure. seeing the prints leading away from the ship, we entered a large cave, rich with the odor of wolf p*ssy and rotting fish. we ventured deeper inside, noting a deep rumble coming from within.
as we reached the center of the cave, we saw a large gelatinous mass sitting in the middle of the room. as it opened its gaping maw, its stinking breath filled the room and we began to choke. from a dim light some distance away, i could finally make sense of the beasts face: it was @Kasper KArr's momma! i held my breath; not in shock, but in desperation, because the bytch was disgusting. she noticed my attempt and laughed.
"c'mon boogers. you know you want this sweet funky wolf p*ssy. cold and damp from the graveyard, just how my shemale son left me" she said, the attempt at seduction thwarted by her rotting vocal cords.
"no thanks bytch, i dont fukk zombies" i said, racking my shotgun. "besides, there aint enough soap and bleach in the world to clean out that scum bucket you call a vagina. is that why your son came out so retarded?"
"no" she said, her gaze dropping slightly as she recalled a painful memory.
"it was my fault for having him when i was 93" she said, pulling out a virginia slim and striking a match on her titty, "they told me to stop selling p*ssy down on Werewolf Street, but i needed the money," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "kasper's lips couldn't suck the rotten milk out of my titties," she said. "i guess god just gave him lips for sucking dikk."
she put out her cigarette and looked around the room. nobody had moved. the air was tense. i fingered my shotgun.
"well, you might as well put me out of my misery" she said, eyeing the ground sadly.
"okay" i said.
"wait a minute. i thought you were already dead. how do you sell wolf p*ssy from beyond the grave?"
she laughed for a moment, and disappeared.
THE END
stardate 1705.0 00:13:53
arriving fresh from a pleasure voyage to Psi 2000, we were alerted to a Fat Hairy bytch warning on the fourth moon of Jupiter. as we docked, we noticed enormous footprints the size of tennis rackets dotting the landscape. the fat bytch had to be here for sure. seeing the prints leading away from the ship, we entered a large cave, rich with the odor of wolf p*ssy and rotting fish. we ventured deeper inside, noting a deep rumble coming from within.
as we reached the center of the cave, we saw a large gelatinous mass sitting in the middle of the room. as it opened its gaping maw, its stinking breath filled the room and we began to choke. from a dim light some distance away, i could finally make sense of the beasts face: it was @Kasper KArr's momma! i held my breath; not in shock, but in desperation, because the bytch was disgusting. she noticed my attempt and laughed.
"c'mon boogers. you know you want this sweet funky wolf p*ssy. cold and damp from the graveyard, just how my shemale son left me" she said, the attempt at seduction thwarted by her rotting vocal cords.
"no thanks bytch, i dont fukk zombies" i said, racking my shotgun. "besides, there aint enough soap and bleach in the world to clean out that scum bucket you call a vagina. is that why your son came out so retarded?"
"no" she said, her gaze dropping slightly as she recalled a painful memory.
"it was my fault for having him when i was 93" she said, pulling out a virginia slim and striking a match on her titty, "they told me to stop selling p*ssy down on Werewolf Street, but i needed the money," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "kasper's lips couldn't suck the rotten milk out of my titties," she said. "i guess god just gave him lips for sucking dikk."
she put out her cigarette and looked around the room. nobody had moved. the air was tense. i fingered my shotgun.
"well, you might as well put me out of my misery" she said, eyeing the ground sadly.
"okay" i said.
"wait a minute. i thought you were already dead. how do you sell wolf p*ssy from beyond the grave?"
she laughed for a moment, and disappeared.
THE END
