How many of you absolutely HATED college!!???

daboywonder2002

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The main obstacle I see what that you were lonely and didn't have a social outlet that you wanted. It's tough for people, especially shy, quiet, or nerdy people, to find their group if they are not actively searching, and then you have to have a level of ease with yourself, compassion for you and others, and sense of humor that will let you live and be you in these settings.

How were you out of class? Were you active anywhere off campus? Online? Seems like even if you weren't in college, you would have been depressed. It's cool though because many people need time to learn about themselves, and this time when they tell you you are supposed to have the best relationships and experiences of your life, you were just beginning that journey. And so it was hell. Hopefully it does not feel like hell anymore for you.

i disagree. thats the case in high school. but in college, there are always people like u. u dont have to be popular. just find your clique and the people u have things in common with. shy people hang together. nerds hang together. college is about finding yourself and your clique. i know people i may have hung with freshman year i drifted away from the next semester or next year. not on bad terms. but i found friends who were more like me and had the same interests.
 

daboywonder2002

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PITT.

Before that, I went to CCAC, and before that Marietta College (some liberal arts/private/prep school in OHIO).

that explains it. you were a transfer student. did you stay on campus or in the dorms? you gotta stay on campus the first 2 years to establish friendships. u probably should have went to a smaller school too. big white universities arent for everybody.
 

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I'm not though. I wasn't the life of the party in HS either, but in college I just "found my group" and we hung out and partied and shyt. Without that group I would be in OP's situation. I'm not painting it as some horrible thing, I just wanted to give a realistic picture. The same way you found your "scene" in college and I found my "scene" is how you do in high school and college. The scenes available to you depend on the college. A small private liberal arts college will probably have a huge hipster scene, while a small private conservative southern college won't really have hipsters like that.
College is definitely not high school 2.0 unless you went to a small school, certain HBCUs or if your whole HS goes to the same place. Yes, there are cliques but there are also many more groups of people that don't fit into any particular clique. Part of the problem people have in college is that they are searching for people just like them instead of branching out and finding out how contrasts can be dope. They are searching for a "clique" and don't realize it. So I can't agree with you or @Sachs, Fifth Avenue. Now, one can get lost in the shuffle but there are such an abundance of extracurricular activities and organizations to join that there really is no reason to find people you have something in common with. I have literally never heard anyone in my entire life say that finding your scene in college and high school is the same thing. If you truly believe that then you missed the point of the college social experience. There are very limited "scenes" in high school and certainly in college you'll have athletes getting to know each other, etc., but let's not get crazy. Getting along with people in class and thinking they're cool and then never engaging them to chill after class is on you. People get to college and find out that they're not as social as they thought they were or open-minded. They only were within the confines of a comfort zone of relative familiarity. That's who gets left out. The ones grasping for who they were in high school, while preventing themselves from becoming who they are about\could be.
 

Ohene

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College is definitely not high school 2.0 unless you went to a small school, certain HBCUs or if your whole HS goes to the same place. Yes, there are cliques but there are also many more groups of people that don't fit into any particular clique. Part of the problem people have in college is that they are searching for people just like them instead of branching out and finding out how contrasts can be dope. They are searching for a "clique" and don't realize it. So I can't agree with you or @Sachs, Fifth Avenue. Now, one can get lost in the shuffle but there are such an abundance of extracurricular activities and organizations to join that there really is no reason to find people you have something in common with. I have literally never heard anyone in my entire life say that finding your scene in college and high school is the same thing. If you truly believe that then you missed the point of the college social experience. There are very limited "scenes" in high school and certainly in college you'll have athletes getting to know each other, etc., but let's not get crazy. Getting along with people in class and thinking they're cool and then never engaging them to chill after class is on you. People get to college and find out that they're not as social as they thought they were or open-minded. They only were within the confines of a comfort zone of relative familiarity. That's who gets left out. The ones grasping for who they were in high school, while preventing themselves from becoming who they are about\could be.
Hmmm :patrice: You are right.

If somebody is having trouble meeting people outside of class its probably just because theyre snobbyish. It ultimately comes down to being open to experience...something that has really expanded personally during my post secondary experience.

But at the same time I must say there hasn't really been anybody that I can fully connect or identify with on that level yet either. We kick it and such but In short none of my university friends come close to my elementary/high school friends but I guess thats just how it is.

I'm one of 2 or 3 black guys in my program at my university so...and sadly havent really come across any black folks outside of my program that are similar to me like that. I have two real friends at school. One white dude and one Egyptian. And I guess one black chick in my program. The rest are just people I kick it with when going out and shyt.

Overall, my college experience was :ehh: though. No complaints
 
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No1

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Yea, it probably was me. A first generation Nigerian/West Indian American dude in a PWI where the only things anybody cared about were sports, drinking, and nothing else. I was already too old for that scene so the people I clicked with at the end of the day were people outside of it.

I was just into different things at the time. I was into fashion, art, making music, DJing, there were absolutely no people at Pitt that I met that were into that.

I had two friends in the school and that was it. And those were my homies from skating at the local skate spot near my apartment (one was my neighbor). I had one girlfriend and that lasted 6 months.

And I'm a pretty friendly and outgoing cat too, I'm very social...that environment just wasn't for me...so I hate it when people are trying to paint me as this "anti-social" retard when you only have text posts to go on and no one has ever met me in real life.

Edit (in reference to the bolded): The first college I attended was a small liberal arts college in Ohio that had 1200 people TOTAL!
I did not have an automatic transition to college. I was nowhere near any friends or family and knew no one. My incoming class was 8% black. I was at a PWI and I had no trouble making friends. One of my roommates was some preppy kid from some rich suburbs, the other was from Asia--the latter and I are tight to this day. We were all into various things and I just went to different things with different people. I still partied and everything else, but I knew who I was. Though, "knowing who I was" actually hurt my experience early because I wouldn't experiment. You're being painted as anti-social because your post reads as such. But I'm saying it in the context of what I saw in college. People who were not socially awkward but were used to things being a certain way and being around a certain type of person....would not venture out of that comfort zone. They claimed it was because they didn't relate to any body, but they never even gave themselves a chance to find out what could become of it all. That's what I mean about the downside of "knowing who you are." As for your age being an excuse, I don't buy that at all. I had many friends who entered college older and were easily able to find things to excite them and people to enjoy it with. They didn't have to look too hard either. As for there being no one at Pitt into the things you're talking about, that's not true...I've met many people who went to Pitt that have those interests, but they're well-rounded and probably don't come in the package you expected to see it in.
 

LezJepzin

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You'll always feel like a loser in some way if you compare yourself too much to others, because there's so many levels of success.

This. And I don't even have my A.A. yet but I see a lot of this in this thread. Socially, I hated h.s. because I was one of those dudes who was cool with everyone and had a decent rep, but never really did anything on the weekends. I was a social outcast. My college years were much better to me though. I don't get blinded by others success and good fortunes because they don't pay my bills . I'm content where I'm going ATM

I liked working in the real world more than taking school seriously otherwise I would be finished. But I'm going back :youngsabo:
 

Malik

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LOL you were in HU when you were that old? How it feel being in their parties being older than anyone else?

The first few years, it was cool. The last two years I started feeling :flabbynsick: Like I said....I was able to blend in because I've always looked young for my age. People thought I was 21, 22ish and when I told them I was older, they were :ohhh: But even though I blended in fine, in my mind, I felt :flabbynsick: Like now, I rather go to Barnes & Noble and read a book then go out and party :flabbynsick:


You'd be surprised how many non-traditional students there are here. People fukk around in school and take 6 years to graduate, some take time off and come back, some spend time at community college first then transfer, etc. One of my roommates this year is 22 and a sophomore. One girl from my writing class I thought was regular age, ended up being 26. A dude Im mad cool with is a year younger than me and had to drop out a couple semesters back to save money. My roommate from last year was 23 and a junior. You'd be surprised.
 

daboywonder2002

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I did not have an automatic transition to college. I was nowhere near any friends or family and knew no one. My incoming class was 8% black. I was at a PWI and I had no trouble making friends. One of my roommates was some preppy kid from some rich suburbs, the other was from Asia--the latter and I are tight to this day. We were all into various things and I just went to different things with different people. I still partied and everything else, but I knew who I was. Though, "knowing who I was" actually hurt my experience early because I wouldn't experiment. You're being painted as anti-social because your post reads as such. But I'm saying it in the context of what I saw in college. People who were not socially awkward but were used to things being a certain way and being around a certain type of person....would not venture out of that comfort zone. They claimed it was because they didn't relate to any body, but they never even gave themselves a chance to find out what could become of it all. That's what I mean about the downside of "knowing who you are." As for your age being an excuse, I don't buy that at all. I had many friends who entered college older and were easily able to find things to excite them and people to enjoy it with. They didn't have to look too hard either. As for there being no one at Pitt into the things you're talking about, that's not true...I've met many people who went to Pitt that have those interests, but they're well-rounded and probably don't come in the package you expected to see it in.

this is why im a fan of hbcu's. nothing wrong with being around other cultures and races. but i think its good to be around your own for 4-5 years.
 

Wild self

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The first few years, it was cool. The last two years I started feeling :flabbynsick: Like I said....I was able to blend in because I've always looked young for my age. People thought I was 21, 22ish and when I told them I was older, they were :ohhh: But even though I blended in fine, in my mind, I felt :flabbynsick: Like now, I rather go to Barnes & Noble and read a book then go out and party :flabbynsick:


You'd be surprised how many non-traditional students there are here. People fukk around in school and take 6 years to graduate, some take time off and come back, some spend time at community college first then transfer, etc. One of my roommates this year is 22 and a sophomore. One girl from my writing class I thought was regular age, ended up being 26. A dude Im mad cool with is a year younger than me and had to drop out a couple semesters back to save money. My roommate from last year was 23 and a junior. You'd be surprised.

You got lucky. It wasn't TOO bad, as long as you weren't the old creep in the party status.

But I never really had a clique of any kind when I was in school. :manny: I just hanged with everyone and was mad cool.
 

HoloGraphic

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I don't think I was ready for the fray in college. Still adjusting.

I'm actually really open and outgoing. But sometimes things just fall in on me. Like the presures of ambitions. And striving forward, yet staying normal.

Guess its all about balance. I run myself into the ground a lot. Keep to myself to much etc. When everything is running smoothly guess I'll chill out and open up.
 
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I mean, I miss those days sometimes, but I guess that's more in the context of not having any real responsibilities and having mad free time. It wasn't that bad but it wasnt that good either. It's behind me though...looking back, I had my fun. I'm done.

I think this just came from the fact that I'm absolutely enjoying my life now more than ever...and back then I wasn't.

that explains it. you were a transfer student. did you stay on campus or in the dorms? you gotta stay on campus the first 2 years to establish friendships. u probably should have went to a smaller school too. big white universities arent for everybody.

I lived off campus the whole time. then again, where I lived the first couple of years was filled with other college kids so its not like I had no interaction with anyone. I knew people that I chilled with from school that were cool and most of the time I was just living it up outside of school...maybe too much!

Me and my friends would just chill, play video games, smoke blunts, have parties in the back (we actually had a pool in the back and hosted some parties there were me and my friends would DJ and we would have graffiti battles and have bratwurst on teh grill and beers and fun) and I was seriously (now that I think of it) kind of self-secluded from the rest of the college world.

In fact, now that I think about it again, 2007-2012 I seriously didn't care about the college world at all other than classes. I was trying to establish myself as a radio DJ and play clubs and make my own music. As well, I was trying to run a t-shirt line and get that off the ground and do custome screenprinting in my basement of my apartment. At that same time...I was also helping out friends that were making murals around the city and ended up getting some nice little credits for myself as an assistant manager for some of their art projects, I guess I cared more about creative stuff than what was going on at Pitt...because everytime I would tell people about what I was doing for myself around that time (playing club gigs, doing two radio shows, all of the aforementioned)...it was met with blank stares. That's what made me realize why I had that disconnect with the college lifestyle so to speak. Everyone that was into that in that area went to CMU...which is why I eventually just defected over to that side to continue my radio show because they had better equipment and better connections.
 
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@*F*U*N*E*R*A*L* is addicted to excuses.

What's the difference between an excuse and trying to clarify myself and make myself understood about a situation? I got to tell things from my perspective because that's the only one I can attest for. Are people just...put off by long wordy blocks of text and dismissive to even understand where I'm coming from? That's what it really feels like sometimes.

By this very definition, even responding or making conversation can be attributed to an...excuse.
 
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