How to deal with parents asking for money?

[Pacni99a12]

Consistently asking for like 700-1000 a month

just moved out a little over month ago and this would significantly hinder my financial goals

but I don’t wanna be ungrateful and just leave them to pay for everything since for the past year before I moved out I was giving them 1k a month for any house hold expenses

I wouldn't do it fam. I'd only give what you can that doesn't set you back from your goal. I've reached the mindstate that if I'm not good, then I can't do shyt for anyone else anyway. So I take care of myself first. If something is life or death then yeah, but if they can get a loan or there so another solution then they're going to have to do that. Once I'm where I wanna be at everyone will benefit a lot more than me getting set back.

 

[Pure Water]

Yeah, I get that but they’re both in their mid 50’s and I’d hate for them to have to get some BS retail job just to cover the 700-1000 that I was giving each month

I'm not saying whether you should or not. It's your choice. All I'm saying is, you should not feel guilty for not doing it as you have your own life. Do what you feel is right.

 

[Jesus Is Lord]

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.


If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.

Talk to em.

 

[wastedmermaid]

You got any siblings or an only child? No pension or SSI?

I got a younger sister. But, I doubt she’s making more than like 15 and hour so not much help from her

 

[wastedmermaid]

Do they need the money or are they just used to you providing it?

I think I’m a few months as all these expenses keep coming it could become a need thing.

 

[wastedmermaid]

OP you said you JUST moved out ,meaning you’re building a life for yourself.
That should be your first priority.

When my big sis graduated and got her own , my parents were on the same wave asking for $500 every time she got paid ,etc and eventually she told them she couldn’t keep giving them money. And you know what happened? They stopped asking and figured it out themselves.

You need to do the same- focus on building a life for yourself first and if there’s any left to occasionally help , then give them if you want. But don’t give it to them every time they ask or don’t give them all of the amount.

You’re creating a codependent dynamic where your parents don’t have to figure out the solution to their $700 problem because you’re doing it for them .

When you become more established, then you can consider helping them on a more consistent basis ,if you choose.

Yeah, I figure sooner or later imma have to tell them they’ll just have to figure it out

Cause I ain’t got it to be giving that kind of money monthly. I just wish they would of made better financial decisions

 

[GrindtooFilthy]

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.


If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.

Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. is also in the Bible

 

[GodinDaFlesh]

I'd help some, but in no way should you burden yourself. No sense in both your parents and you struggling

 

[JQ Legend]

Unless they’re like 70+ years old or something, don’t give them shyt. You’ve been an adult for only a couple years. They should have their own shyt figured out by now. You can tell Ms. Gladys I said that, pleighboi.

Every now and then y’all remind me why I Love this site

 

[ReggieFlare]

Give them WHAT YOU CAN. Don't cripple your finances to help them.

Now if it's an medical emergency or something unexpected that happens it's up to you on how you wanna handle it but if your parents are just being bums or managing their finances poorly that's not on you.

 

[Splash]

Sympathise with your situation.
I would say only give up what you can and let them know they are going to have to try and figure something out, it sounds harsh but 10 years down the line, you don't want to have NOTHING to show for it.
Is that house coming to you? Can they downsize? Take on a lodger?

 

[Mr swag]

Sounds like they live 700-1000 dollars over their budget. Just need them to cut expenses

 

[QuintessentialMan]

do what you can
its really good karma
but dont put yourself in a bad place,whats the point o that

 

[GoFlipAPack]

Simple. Tell them no. You might be able to give 100 to 200 here and there but 700 to 1k? Nah. Tell them they should have made better decisions

 

[King Poetic]

I’m glad my father had a good pension and social security each month and when he passed it went to my mom

my mom make more than a lot of people do a year