I'm a 28 year old woman, and I'm not in the position (personally, where I want to be pre-wife/children) to be married and a mother right now. I'm definitely relationship oriented and highly nurturing, but as far as my personal plan for my life, I'm not there yet. I embrace that. It's better to know yourself and what you're capable of handling/doing, than to try and meet someone else's expectations for you.
I had the chance at 22 to be married, but I had to say no because I did not wish to be married so badly that I confused fetishization with true love. I want to be known, respected, accepted, protected. I will not go for anything less than that, nor will I offer anything less. I have been through more in the past 4 years than some people will go through in a lifetime. I mean nearly losing my own life, and suddenly losing my father who was my greatest support in life. I am healing, I am rebuilding, I am continuing to work on what else I will take to the table. I want a man with whom I can build, who wants to build with me. I want strong, dedicated, passionate love. Not infatuation, not wild lust, and not temporal.
I want to build with him and support him well, as I wish he would offer the same to me in return. That way when/if he and I are blessed with children, they will thrive in an environment of wholesome love and have the best chance at being their greatest selves. The best way to go about that is for each person to love themselves singularly, and then nourish and protect their love as a couple. You have to know yourself well, have your standards, compromise for no one or their timelines. It's a bit different for women, as we have the biological clock ticking, but even so, I just believe children deserve the best from the beginning. I'm not going to rush to get married and become a mother just because society thinks I should. I have to live with me and my choices, and I try to think of my future spouse and children everyday, and become the type of wife/mother I want to be, as I continue to grow into my womanhood. Although I've experienced severe loss, it has matured me and shown me that while life is short, it's important to be true to yourself. Acknowledge and accept your needs, know and love yourself well.
I applaud that. I know this is TLR and y'all play around a lot, but I was just discussing this with one of my closest friends/sisters last night. It's something I feel very passionately about, so I just had to come 100% open and honest in this thread.
Edit: It is so irritating to me how many times I've been told "you're marriage material!" And/or asked "how/why are you still single?!" "I bet you're out there breaking hearts, huh?"
What?! No. I'm single because I choose to be. I don't receive nearly the attention I'm assumed to receive, and when I do, I quickly sense and separate what's authentic or not. I don't have time for games, and I don't need attention 24/7. I could honestly stay single and be fine with my life. I ask/tell these people they are pressed and need to stop worrying! It'll be right when it's the right time, with the right person. I want nothing pseudo and to soothe the worries of others. It's strange to me how much people plan their lives and want to plan yours too, or something is "wrong." Just chill!