I Am Disabled, and I Am a Sexual Being

[Doobie Doo]

I Am Disabled, and I Am a Sexual Being
Jennifer Burgmann,The Mighty 15 hours ago

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Jennifer Burgmann discusses the way society often views people with disabilities as not sexual or good potential romantic partners.
When I was a young woman, able-bodied and attractive, I was often stared at, coveted and pursued by men. Even when I got older and gained weight, I still attracted their interest. As soon as I became disabled and a wheelchair user, however, the attention abruptly ceased. Now admittedly, the attention I received when I was young was not always welcomed, and as I grew older, I became more skilled at deterring unwanted attention. But I didn’t necessary want it to stop altogether.
Just about everyone likes to feel attractive and desired. It feels good when someone (respectfully) hits on you, or does a double-take when you enter the room. It’s flattering and somewhat affirming to get a compliment from someone you find attractive. No one likes to feel ugly, uninteresting or invisible. But that is often how I feel, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one.

Upon becoming a wheelchair user, according to society I am suddenly asexual and agender. Young men don’t even see me. Men my age won’t look me in the eye. And older men smile sympathetically at me. It’s as if I’ve become unviable as a potential partner. If I am seen as a sexual object, it is as a fetish. There are hundreds of images and clips of women using their amputations in unpleasant ways, or women trapped and helpless in their wheelchairs while their partner performs various sexual acts. I have heard more stories of kinky sexual propositions than of genuine romantic connections.

Fortunately, I am happily married and don’t have to suffer the dating scene. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate being complimented or being found attractive. My husband and I still have a healthy attraction to one another, but intimacy in this body is much different than it was in my able body. This body is softer and looser. It sags in places it didn’t before. It’s not as flexible and graceful as it used to be. It doesn’t feel as sexy. Intimacy — even loving, mutually respectful intimacy, can be intimidating and uncomfortable when you don’t feel sexy. It doesn’t help that society tells us every day that we are unattractive and unviable unless we are fetishized.

Change takes time, I know. Little by little, the world is becoming more accessible. Perhaps a day will come when people with disabilities will been seen as just people. We do the exact same things able-bodied people do, we just do them a little differently. But our feelings, our emotions — those are the same, whatever body you’re in.

Yahoo is now part of Oath

 

[Canada Goose]

I don't feel reading the whole article but I agree with the premise.

Being disabled put me at a major disadvantage at finding a companion


Oh well at least there's porn

 

[Doobie Doo]

I don't feel reading the whole article but I agree with the premise.

Being disabled put me at a major disadvantage at finding a companion


Oh well at least there's porn

you are disabled?

 

[Mac Brown]

I don't feel reading the whole article but I agree with the premise.

Being disabled put me at a major disadvantage at finding a companion


Oh well at least there's porn

somebody clipped yo wing breh?!?

 

[Rhapscallion Démone]

at that Nightwing and Oracle picture

 

[Taadow]

*takes glasses off dramatically*


I...need to see her first.

 

[EndDomination]

It'd be hard to be disabled
The automatic assumption is that you're either up for some depraved sex or nothing.
The disabled also have an incredibly high rate of sexual assault, especially when they're young.
I couldn't even imagine
You have to be GOAT otherwise you'll be alone forever

 

[Pclarkrsa]

I Am Disabled, and I Am a Sexual Being
Jennifer Burgmann,The Mighty 15 hours ago

• 
  
  
  • Reactions
    
  • Reblog on Tumblr
    
  • Share
    
  • Tweet
    
  • Email

Jennifer Burgmann discusses the way society often views people with disabilities as not sexual or good potential romantic partners.
When I was a young woman, able-bodied and attractive, I was often stared at, coveted and pursued by men. Even when I got older and gained weight, I still attracted their interest. As soon as I became disabled and a wheelchair user, however, the attention abruptly ceased. Now admittedly, the attention I received when I was young was not always welcomed, and as I grew older, I became more skilled at deterring unwanted attention. But I didn’t necessary want it to stop altogether.
Just about everyone likes to feel attractive and desired. It feels good when someone (respectfully) hits on you, or does a double-take when you enter the room. It’s flattering and somewhat affirming to get a compliment from someone you find attractive. No one likes to feel ugly, uninteresting or invisible. But that is often how I feel, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one.

Upon becoming a wheelchair user, according to society I am suddenly asexual and agender. Young men don’t even see me. Men my age won’t look me in the eye. And older men smile sympathetically at me. It’s as if I’ve become unviable as a potential partner. If I am seen as a sexual object, it is as a fetish. There are hundreds of images and clips of women using their amputations in unpleasant ways, or women trapped and helpless in their wheelchairs while their partner performs various sexual acts. I have heard more stories of kinky sexual propositions than of genuine romantic connections.

Fortunately, I am happily married and don’t have to suffer the dating scene. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate being complimented or being found attractive. My husband and I still have a healthy attraction to one another, but intimacy in this body is much different than it was in my able body. This body is softer and looser. It sags in places it didn’t before. It’s not as flexible and graceful as it used to be. It doesn’t feel as sexy. Intimacy — even loving, mutually respectful intimacy, can be intimidating and uncomfortable when you don’t feel sexy. It doesn’t help that society tells us every day that we are unattractive and unviable unless we are fetishized.

Change takes time, I know. Little by little, the world is becoming more accessible. Perhaps a day will come when people with disabilities will been seen as just people. We do the exact same things able-bodied people do, we just do them a little differently. But our feelings, our emotions — those are the same, whatever body you’re in.

Yahoo is now part of Oath

Her husband needs to be able to cut through her bullshyt. The underlined content shows her own confusion and/or disappointment with self. The underlined italicized part shows where I REALLY stopped paying any attention to this talking head.

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Shes fukking married. What exactly is she crying about? Oh yea... Geeee Emmmmmm Beeeeeeee

 

[TL15]

my nygga Zach Morris put on a whole wheelchair basketball charity game the minute he got some of that paralyzed pyssy

 

[Taadow]

It'd be hard to be disabled
The automatic assumption is that you're either up for some depraved sex or nothing.
The disabled also have an incredibly high rate of sexual assault, especially when they're young.
I couldn't even imagine

As a Black male, I can.

#StayWoke

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

*takes glasses off dramatically*


I...need to see her first.

 

[Doobie Doo]

my nygga Zach Morris put on a whole wheelchair basketball charity game the minute he got some of that paralyzed pyssy

That wheelchair p*ssy stink, it's being sat on all day

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

She wouldnt be pulling anything with two good legs. Idk who this bish is trying to fool

 

[Canada Goose]

you are disabled?

Yes, but I'm physically fine. I'm supposedly autistic with various mental illnesses. I get a monthy check and don't have to work, which is and at the same time.