I am now single man, its been a minute, how's the dating scene

[Ohene]

man, go get your girl back. she's gonna run you ragged though, or she might be less combative/pushy after marriage. who knows.

It will worsen after marriage

 

[aXiom]

Pretty much set and in stone now and it all comes to down to my GF thinking I am wasting her time . Her biggest issue is that she feels like I don't set personal goals. Marriage, kids and home buying. To her things have to be perfect on her time.

We almost broke in January because we had a rough past six month, from moving to shyt that were said because she thought I cheated ( I have never cheated and have had p*ssy handed to me on a silver platter and I have said no. The moment we patch shyt up through couples therapy she started pressing marriage 100 mile per hour.

I do want to get married and have kids but I don't like pressure. I was going to do it this year for sure after our rough patch. Despite our differences, she is not a bad woman. There are qualities I look for in a woman such is this woman the type that will be by your side when health issues come up. Kid raising but sometimes she just worries too much about life while I am a carefree guy.

I don't subscribe to GMB lifestyle, we are getting old...lol dont have much time nor do I plan on dating any woman under 30,

so you’re heading into the current dating scene but also artificially hamstringing yourself? why?

not knocking you for your decision or anything, i just don’t understand as a dude with his shyt together trying to get back into the dating scene, you’re at a premium in this market, why limit yourself like that?

 

[RedCloakBlackWraithe]

It will worsen after marriage

heh! keep quite, let am suffaaa!

 

[Phitz]

Lol fair enough thats actually her exact stand. The wierd part she says I'm the best man she ever dated and feel like the next woman will get a very good man. She is even leaving the door open for our relationship.

lol this sounds familiar

she has no clue what she is doing, that's all I'll say.

 

[Ohene]

This thread is confusing.

Explain to me in layman’s terms how is the dating game terrible?

I assume this is because sex is easy to get therefore bonds aren’t being built.

Percentages are in the 90s for bad dates, what makes a date bad?

I ask this as someone who has been married for 13 years and whose friends are married or

abstain from dating overall.

where does this misconception that its easy to get sex come from?
singles are having less sex than they have ever had - especially the men

 

[K.Y.R.I.E]

where does this misconception that its easy to get sex come from?
singles are having less sex than they have ever had - especially the men

It is pretty easy if you have a social circle and look decent

 

[Ohene]

It is pretty easy if you have a social circle and look decent

I disagree. The stats speak for themselves

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Naw, I am a legit six cert brehs and over six feet too. She makes over six figure herself. Money isn't the issue. I am just an extremely care free dude. I will marry and have kids but I'm not the type to go 100 mile per hour for any woman.

As a matter fact she complains a lot because I'm always so focused on career goals and now investments. She says I'm way too money driven when really I just want financial freedom. She says I have trust issues when it comes to money which I do but not with her since she makes her own.

Breh, man up. Don’t no woman in her 30’s want to be strung along. No one says y’all need to be married tomorrow, but if she’s someone you felt you were going to propose to, then be honest with her about that, discuss a timeline, and commit. Additionally, no woman wants to deal with mixed signals trying to make sense of the gap between your words and your actions. If you say it, then follow through by doing it.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

Biggest thing really is location. Also our relationship is a lot of work because of we are very different. We reached a medium on everything but pushed for a proposal now it feels very much forced and not natural. I was going to do it this year for sure.





She is not incorrect because honestly living with a woman for year has made me close a lot of blind spots that the next woman won't deal with. I know for a fact I'd be able to run through a bunch of women if I go out there.

She is who I consider the one but it won't be a smooth process. I can see kids becoming a huge hurdle u til we reach a middle ground

Have you told her that? Can you set a goal for doing it in x month or in x season? Life ain’t a fairytale, every woman ain’t waiting to be blindsided by some grand proposal. Some of us simply want to know the deal…had you just straight up communicated that, y’all would still be together. She might be pressing for a date still, but knowing you were going to propose this year would’ve been a key piece of information for her

 

[Digital Omen]

Would be interesting to hear her side of the story. As we all know there are always 3 sides: his, hers, and the truth.
But we'll never get that so just going off OP, either shyt or get off the pot. That's all she's asking for.

Do not get married under pressure, you'll be filing divorce papers soon enough.
At the same time, there ain't shyt out here for you, or for anyone that's even remotely family-minded. These IG mutants and hardened game vets will run circles around you.

Look deep within yourself and answer the following question:

Can you live with her shyt? Her issues, her trauma, her personality?

REALLY think deeply before you answer.

If you reflect and come to the conclusion that you can't put up with her shyt, LEAVE. Do her and the next man a favor and let someone else handle that. Don't be a hindrance to her happiness.

If on the other hand you can handle her ambition, drive, and motivation, along with the usual feminine traits all women have, then discuss marriage from your standpoint and vision. Negotiate and come together to make a plan with mutual agreement.

If you think the grass is greener in 2024, God bless.

 

[RealCrownHeights]

You and I have completely different perspectives when it comes to relationships. You still buy into patriarchy and nuclear families. I don't. I don’t believe in trying to push for something that does not work because it sounds good.

He already stated in the other thread that she was overly concerned with being married by a certain age.

Why?

Having goals for things you can control makes sense. Having goals that you expect other people to fulfill for you in order to fulfill a fantasy is a delusion.

Look how misible she has already made herself in pursuit of the goal. Look how she already ruined the relationship because she's trying to beat her expectations on him.

That's not how healthy relationships work.

This situation is too hung up on looking good to the otherside world and moving through "ideal" life paths. Anyone who thinks like that should be bushed.

Imagine a man having 50-11 imagines in his head of what YOU "should be" and then making you miserable every step of the way because you aren't those things. That's not okay and it's not fair.

She doesn't even care if what she desires is making her or him happy. All she cares about is getting married that's an issue. That's how women end up in miserable relationships and end up single regardless.

He should move on and anyone dealing with anyone like this woman should move on.

Really interested in your perspective and answer. I'm assuming you are a women. My girl kind of has the same mindset and feeling's as OP's somewhat. She is 27 I'm 30. She really wants to get married and have kids. We're in couples therapy and the therapist said we aren't ready but she is adamant about "she is ready for the next chapter of her life" She said she always envisioned herself with a husband and kids and a house. I want to get married, but I'm not there financially yet (trying to save and pay off debt and possibly step into a new career) It could be kind of annoying when we're on facetime and she is mad that her career isn't where she would like it to be or that she does not have a house yet, no matter how much time's myself and the therapist say that you are moving just fine in your career and life. She makes 6 figures but pays a lot in rent and were in NY. No matter how much she say's it's not social media or friend presence I can't help but think it is. Like is signing a paper and having a thousand dollar ceremony going to magically fix all of our issues?

 

[Phitz]

It is pretty easy if you have a social circle and look decent

yeah but that can get messy. The FWB can ruin the social circle like a domino effect or it becomes an orgy that people pretend is not happening.

 

[africngiant]

I echo these brehs sentiments as far as the dating market these days. I just deleted hinge last week, taking a nice hiatus. shyt is mundane. The getting to know someone new over and over again only for it to flame out in 2 weeks. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze. Women are flighty and skittish looking for any reason to tuck tail and run to other options. Alot of damaged women out here that haven’t done the necessary work to heal themselves that take their cues on how to date from podcasts and social media commentary. Especially the older you are. Yeah you can find sex easily but if you are looking for a wife…

I always encourage brehs to work it out with their lady if there’s minor issues to address and the love /attraction is still there. Like one breh said the grass ain’t greener on the other side. Good luck finding a woman you’re attracted to AND is wifey material. In my experience it’s either one or the other and if she’s both she’s already taken by a breh that’s smart enough not to fukk it up.

real shyt smmfh. hoes lost

 

[Gloxina]

Breh, man up. Don’t no woman in her 30’s want to be strung along. No one says y’all need to be married tomorrow, but if she’s someone you felt you were going to propose to, then be honest with her about that, discuss a timeline, and commit. Additionally, no woman wants to deal with mixed signals trying to make sense of the gap between your words and your actions. If you say it, then follow through by doing it.

Have you told her that? Can you set a goal for doing it in x month or in x season? Life ain’t a fairytale, every woman ain’t waiting to be blindsided by some grand proposal. Some of us simply want to know the deal…had you just straight up communicated that, y’all would still be together. She might be pressing for a date still, but knowing you were going to propose this year would’ve been a key piece of information for her

THANK YOU!

This is all I’m saying!

Ol boy sounds wishy washy and she can feel it .


No one is saying to rush engagement/marriage for the sake of hitting a deadline, however women get strung along forever when they sit and wait for a man to wake up one day and say he’s ready.

It’s a big thing to think about, but if it’s something you want with her it shouldn’t be hard to discuss it.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Really interested in your perspective and answer. I'm assuming you are a women. My girl kind of has the same mindset and feeling's as OP's somewhat. She is 27 I'm 30. She really wants to get married and have kids. We're in couples therapy and the therapist said we aren't ready but she is adamant about "she is ready for the next chapter of her life" She said she always envisioned herself with a husband and kids and a house. I want to get married, but I'm not there financially yet (trying to save and pay off debt and possibly step into a new career) It could be kind of annoying when we're on facetime and she is mad that her career isn't where she would like it to be or that she does not have a house yet, no matter how much time's myself and the therapist say that you are moving just fine in your career and life. She makes 6 figures but pays a lot in rent and were in NY. No matter how much she say's it's not social media or friend presence I can't help but think it is. Like is signing a paper and having a thousand dollar ceremony going to magically fix all of our issues?

Yes I am a woman.

It's not just social media. It the societal structure we live and it is reinforced everywhere.

Basically society tells womem that they are not "good enough" without a man. She is pushing the issue strictly because she wants you to validation her.

I bet if you told her "Okay, we can get married but since I am not where I want to be financially we'll be going to the justice of the peace. No wedding. And after which you need to quit your job and be a full-time homemaker so we can start having children right away. Also, we'll need to move out of NYC and move to Buffalo so we can afford children on my single income " she would shyt a brick.

She is pressing the issue because she has a fantasy in her head. Start hitting her with some realities and she'll change her turn real fast. Tell her EXACTLY how you expect her to be as a wife. I would throw extra sauce on there too and tell her she needs to maintain a certain weight too...she'll drop the issue I guarantee it.