I am now single man, its been a minute, how's the dating scene

[Digital Omen]

"Okay, we can get married but since I am not where I want to be financially we'll be going to the justice of the peace. No wedding. And after which you need to quit your job and be a full-time homemaker so we can start having children right away. Also, we'll need to move out of NYC and move to Buffalo so we can afford children on my single income "

Tell her this word for word. If she bucks and ultimately walks you dodged a lifetime bullet.
But if she accepts? That's a gem. Give thanks.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

lol, @RealCrownHeights do not tell your girl that because that is not the only solution to yalls life post-engagement/post marriage

i'mma be real, best advice I got about seeking relationship advice - don't seek it from those who aren't likeminded. yall don't seem to be ready for marriage, at the same time, don't sabotage your shyt with that advice breh

 

[The Radiant One]

Yes I am a woman.

It's not just social media. It the societal structure we live and it is reinforced everywhere.

Basically society tells womem that they are not "good enough" without a man. She is pushing the issue strictly because she wants you to validation her.

I bet if you told her "Okay, we can get married but since I am not where I want to be financially we'll be going to the justice of the peace. No wedding. And after which you need to quit your job and be a full-time homemaker so we can start having children right away. Also, we'll need to move out of NYC and move to Buffalo so we can afford children on my single income " she would shyt a brick.

She is pressing the issue because she has a fantasy in her head. Start hitting her with some realities and she'll change her turn real fast. Tell her EXACTLY how you expect her to be as a wife. I would throw extra sauce on there too and tell her she needs to maintain a certain weight too...she'll drop the issue I guarantee it.

Most modern woman are not prepared for domestic life. Their kids may not be what they envisioned. Also mostly the woman is going to be the main parent. Does your woman expect her husband to help take care of the kids after work?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

lol, @RealCrownHeights do not tell your girl that because that is not the only solution to yalls life post-engagement/post marriage

i'mma be real, best advice I got about seeking relationship advice - don't seek it from those who aren't likeminded. yall don't seem to be ready for marriage, at the same time, don't sabotage your hit with that advice breh

She's not going anywhere. She desperate for marriage. If anything it will make her fall back until the money is right.

There is a reason 80% of divorces are filed by women. It's because women think marriage is something completely different than it is. Better she knows what he wants now than after 2 kids and she's ready to bounce.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Y’all be 30 plus and still not being honest with your s/o

 

[Dameon Farrow]

Have fun and wear condoms. Females are wilding out here....

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Most modern woman are not prepared for domestic life. Their kids may not be what they envisioned. Also mostly the woman is going to be the main parent. Does your woman expect her husband to help take care of the kids after work?

Exactly. Most women really don't want to be married. They just think they do. Take away the wedding, the fake "romance" and social validation they get from other women and most be would be perfectly fine without the paper.

 

[The Radiant One]

lol, @RealCrownHeights do not tell your girl that because that is not the only solution to yalls life post-engagement/post marriage

i'mma be real, best advice I got about seeking relationship advice - don't seek it from those who aren't likeminded. yall don't seem to be ready for marriage, at the same time, don't sabotage your hit with that advice breh

Kids change a lot also when they get married she will want a bigger house and also to keep up with the Jones so he will need to work more and then be blamed for not doing a lot with the kids

Marriages have a 50% divorce rate Children add: lack of sleep and self-care, less couple time and attention for each spouse, increased inequities & disagreements on distribution of household work, parenting style conflicts, increased financial strain, and general stress increases.

This is well documented which is why if a divorce happens it is usually after they are kids.

Do you like to babysit and enjoy parenting if you have a special needs kid since you guys are older things may go south very quickly

GIve me a weekly schedule of what your day is like after you have a baby and who is going to make what. Does your girl cook? Does she clean and does she love doing this?

 

[Scaaar]

Yes I am a woman.

It's not just social media. It the societal structure we live and it is reinforced everywhere.

Basically society tells womem that they are not "good enough" without a man. She is pushing the issue strictly because she wants you to validation her.

I bet if you told her "Okay, we can get married but since I am not where I want to be financially we'll be going to the justice of the peace. No wedding. And after which you need to quit your job and be a full-time homemaker so we can start having children right away. Also, we'll need to move out of NYC and move to Buffalo so we can afford children on my single income " she would shyt a brick.

She is pressing the issue because she has a fantasy in her head. Start hitting her with some realities and she'll change her turn real fast. Tell her EXACTLY how you expect her to be as a wife. I would throw extra sauce on there too and tell her she needs to maintain a certain weight too...she'll drop the issue I guarantee it.

Yes! Once you put it all out on the table you put the ball in her court to either conform or just move around. Too many people date in that grey area which leaves a lot of room for interpretation and assumptions. Dudes are worse because we don't wanna mess up the opportunity for sex. But if she denied you sex for being open and honest that's even more of an indication that you shouldn't be with her.

 

[Space Cowboy]

Breh, I need you to seriously reflect, before you get into today's dating, why you bothered to waste this woman's time if you are not a GMB. Here's a tip. Time is paramount for both men and women but especially women. If you aren't GMB then express that to a woman when starting out so you don't waste her time if she is.

 

[The Radiant One]

Keep in mind a lot of married men date and cheat because their wives are not interested in sex after kids. You will also have more fights since a baby will cause lack of sleep and more will be required of you than men in the past.

 

[Still Benefited]

Exactly! Someone in here said it already. But when you look at a chick you're thinking about taking serious ask yourself does she want a wedding or the marriage. A lot of chics get married for the outside validation and it becomes the core of your relationship. If she's doing that in the dating phase the marriage is going to be 10x worse

And whos fault is that? Women are programmed to go for the marriage because it symbolizes commitment. What other grand gesture have you as men turned into an alternate symbol that women could look to? The body isnt even cold yet and the OP is already talking about impregnating someone else soon and just coparent(has a inner timeline for this but not to give his girl). So obviously if we casually talk sbout coparenting,having children arent a sign of commitment. So what are the signs women should be looking for,when men are willing to offer so little?



This is why the deadlines are important,just to expose who you are dealing with. While yes a mans intentions are likely to be misread by women. With a timeline she can give grace to allow him to make it plain as day. But even in giving him time to make his intentions clear. She will still waste less time than the woman who didnt advance the relationship foward with timelines and ultimatums

 

[Still Benefited]

Its clear alot of yall dont really need wives or significant others. I can tell many of you dont really invest time into your woman,dont teach your woman anything,dont advise your woman psychologically or about her emotions. Dont get familiar with their families,dont create plans with your women. There is practically zero investment emotionally ,spiritually,financially. So its really no wonder you dont want to claim these women and walk away so easily. Easy to walk away from something youve invested nothing into. Message to young ladies globally,dont listen to these women and men out here telling you to "Just go with the flow chile"



No,find a man with a flow,and find out if hes willing to fit you in it as things progress. Or if hes worth the investment,help him find his flow. Past a certain age hes probably a lost cause. Its on you to progress the relationship if hes not doing so.


And I get it,as black men alot of our women belong to the European ideologically,due to white supremacy brainwashing. But i can tell by these threads we as men have done nothing to deprogram our women,or pour our own beliefs ,finances,time and values into our own personal relationships. So who can blame the women if the European is doing what your supposed to be doing as black men? Teachint,investing,counseling etc(even if it is horseshyt and lies)


Quik to argue with random hellhounds and onlyfans models who dont matter about their beliefs. But aint taught your ol lady a damn thing about you or herself. Just a bunch of random meaningless water cooler talk


Im only here to teach and tell you the truth about yourselves,this is said with love#NoMoreCoddling #theChildOfMan

 

[Tupac in a Business Suit]

where does this misconception that its easy to get sex come from?
singles are having less sex than they have ever had - especially the men

I echo these brehs sentiments as far as the dating market these days. I just deleted hinge last week, taking a nice hiatus. shyt is mundane. The getting to know someone new over and over again only for it to flame out in 2 weeks. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze. Women are flighty and skittish looking for any reason to tuck tail and run to other options. Alot of damaged women out here that haven’t done the necessary work to heal themselves that take their cues on how to date from podcasts and social media commentary. Especially the older you are. Yeah you can find sex easily but if you are looking for a wife…

I always encourage brehs to work it out with their lady if there’s minor issues to address and the love /attraction is still there. Like one breh said the grass ain’t greener on the other side. Good luck finding a woman you’re attracted to AND is wifey material. In my experience it’s either one or the other and if she’s both she’s already taken by a breh that’s smart enough not to fukk it up.

Say breh I’m in Winston Salem. When I’m on hinge I’m very popular with chicks from Charlotte, Cary, and Raleigh. What I’ve noticed is most of those women are perpetually single career women that’s constantly taking fliers. Easy to smash but that’s about it. You quickly find out why they are attractive, 40, and on a dating app

It’s the easiest time to get sex, but it’s also the hardest time to get sex

This thread is confusing.

Explain to me in layman’s terms how is the dating game terrible?

I assume this is because sex is easy to get therefore bonds aren’t being built.

Percentages are in the 90s for bad dates, what makes a date bad?

I ask this as someone who has been married for 13 years and whose friends are married or

abstain from dating overall.

I am just quoting what has been written in the thread. As I said, I haven’t dated in over a decade. The thread is confusing so im trying to make heads or tails on the whole deal.

 

[Marlow Stanfield]

nikka... if you don't run your dumb ass back to that good woman and shut the fukk up. You lost.