Who have you been asking? Are you asking me personally? I don't think I'd be the right person to tell you. I probably couldn't convey the thoughts as eloquently as those who have authored books on it. As I said, it's an ideology that evolves and it's been around quite some time so that means that there are plenty of feminists, black feminists, who would readily be able to help you with any questions you have. Your particular issue with feminism here has been examined through that lens time and time again.
bell hooks and Roxanne Gay could get you started. If you'd rather not read their books on the subject, they're both on Twitter where you can come at them directly. And what you did here just now is switch from feminism destroys families to saying it might help but it doesn't help black people.
