DISCLAIMER....this is real talk so avoid if u like fukkery, thats cool im not judging u...if u dont like this shyt, the ignore button is that way >>>>
I know I said I would go on a sabbatical and did for a few days and ill continue....but I had a thought I wanted to share for the people thats interested...I get not everybody want to hear this type of talk and thats fine im not in the business of forcing my beliefs on ppl anymore.....everybody is allowed to live life the way they want...were all given choices in life and the decisions we make will help shape our fate, and the lord take care of the rest.....
I seen my uncle yesterday , as I stated before, he suffer from mental illness and hes also an crack addict, he was doing crack when it first came out in the 80s....and hes still in the crack smoking game, My feeling for him actually went from embarrassment to sorrow to now respect because he choose the life that he wanted and stuck to his principles and became the best dope addict in the city. One day they'll retire his jersey because he put in work and earned his stripes. thats why i laugh at nikkas like future now, nikka aint no addict...hes a poser, hes not committed to that life style like my uncle. but I digress, see I get it now, in his mind he he aceppted that he was addicted to crack, and he couldn't fight it so he embraced it and became the best crackhead that he could become. yeah I know that sound crazy to the avg person and rightfully so but Im totally against drug use but the point Im trying to make is , u have to find your purpose and your niche and live free ...I think thats the key to true inner peace
I feel enlightened and my vision is so clear, I'm learning myself in this spiritual journey Ive been thinking...I used to be lost in this society, trapped like most young black people...finding our way in this cold "post racial" capitalistic society. I think alot of us get lost trying to negative this matrix....a society were we dont feel like we belong....These urban enclaves, where all we see is negativity...I didnt know who I was, or who I wanted to be....was it a cool nikka that get all types of p*ssy and push the white 500 benz with the cherry seats? or the educated guy with office job that wear the suit and tie? or the capitalist entrepreneur thats worth millions and own everything and play life like a game of monopoly? or a family man that follow society guide by the book?....or do I want to help people and build things to let them see their dreams? and the answer I want all all of it but like the yin and yang u cant have everything....
and Now I found out what I really want....its simple...freedom and new experiences, happiness first and then to build on that...i want to own a business and I do(contrary to popular belief that im a lying nikka with noting" but I want my business to represent me and I want ppl that fukk with me for me and the ppl that dont fukk with me...hey thats ok too, not everybody is going to see the same vision and thats cool....and I dont care about money anymore , along as I have enough to pay bills, cover necessities and travel Im good, take care for family stuck in rough spots....I was talking to my grand father yesterday(whos a great man, a true innovator and family man, i wish the world had a chance to know about him) my pops is a great man too...we see just see the world different, and thats ok and Im starting lose the resentment I have toward him and appreciate his positives and instead of his flaws...and begin the healing process....but I digress, anyway Back to where I was, me and my grandfather was talking about how materialism and consumption is destroying humanity. So I dont care about materialism either...as long I can travel and experience new things...
my dream was always to travel as a youngster, while everybody was in school aka prison, talking about the usual bullshyt that young kids talk about....and rightfully so because we were children....I was staring in the history (the only subject I liked) book looking at the map, reading about all the cultures and ppl...just dreaming of seeing the world and everything it have to offer...I always was the odd ball and had to pretend to fit in school.....I got along with everybody but I couldn't relate to nobody ....nikkas was talking about rap n shyt, I would be off in my thoughts thinking about the day I would be free...and not living a life were I was obligated to be under another person authority....Ive always hated authority, bosses, cops, managers, teachers, elders....I still hate them with a passion....fukk I look like having some cock sucking mothafukka that cant tie his shoes and chew gum, that got his job through nepotism tell me what to do? man fukk that....I always knew that I wanted to be free from a young age and figure it out no matter how hard...
I guess that why i come across so angry about the topic of entrepreneurship...because I dont even really care about business to tell u the truth, My passion is freedom , and I see business as a tool to get the vehicle to get me there..... and yeah Im guilty of desiring, materialism, sex, like everybody, and sometimes I still want to be the fly nikka on the strip with the drop top with a fly IG hoe riding shotgun , with the gold chain, watch, ear rings shining...but fukk that...those that just traps created by satan to keep u chasing something that dont exist....But , its not about that life is bigger than that and this whole system is predicated on chasing illusions, while the elite sit back and feel like gods watching us peasants wondering aimlessly like a game of the sims.
Seeing my mother work everyday, coming home tired and complaining...always scared me, I told myself..."i will never become that". and growing up in a place like Buffalo NY for black person is rough...its so bleak, it takes alot to not fall into the many traps laying around...The lack of opportunity, discrimination Ive faced has crippled me ...having doors shut in my family when all I wanted was the chance to provide for myself and work hard....but but in Amerikkka, just wanting to be a decent hard working person is asking for too much, u gotta come up with all these fukking abstract hustles, strategies, niches and plots just to keep your lights on. U just cant be a honest qualified black man....thats scary....So in order to figure a way out of a place like this, u really gotta figure out...because if u dont, hell awaits...and ive seen ppl in my family litterly get stuck in poverty there whole life...drinking and drugging the pain away, trapped in ghetto with no hope...and I always told myself that wouldnt be me, no matter how hard I had to work...I will figure it out....well im 28 now , and although still young i guess, Im trying to figure it out and put it together
I always wanted to be at the top of something,Im very ambitious....but for the wrong reasons.......I wanted to be the man at the top of the hill....and slay everybody that I ever had a bad experience with...and now I realize that my mission is bigger than them...IM not into forgiveness, fukk them but at the same time....I dont have to hate them either ....I need to use my ambition to help people, change lives , and be recognized for my craft and not to stunt on people and try to make ppl feel bad .........
Life is short, and society is obviously collapsing, we cant change the world but we can change ourselves, so lets be free and enjoy this bytch before it fall.....Im humbled and feel good on the inside , now that I know my true direction....the pain is still there, but IM working on healing it....but Im transforming back into the real me...not the bitter angry guy on the coli that hate life and hate everybody that refuse to follow my guide...Im changing back into the young boy at the lunch table who just wanted freedoom and happiness
I know I said I would go on a sabbatical and did for a few days and ill continue....but I had a thought I wanted to share for the people thats interested...I get not everybody want to hear this type of talk and thats fine im not in the business of forcing my beliefs on ppl anymore.....everybody is allowed to live life the way they want...were all given choices in life and the decisions we make will help shape our fate, and the lord take care of the rest.....
I seen my uncle yesterday , as I stated before, he suffer from mental illness and hes also an crack addict, he was doing crack when it first came out in the 80s....and hes still in the crack smoking game, My feeling for him actually went from embarrassment to sorrow to now respect because he choose the life that he wanted and stuck to his principles and became the best dope addict in the city. One day they'll retire his jersey because he put in work and earned his stripes. thats why i laugh at nikkas like future now, nikka aint no addict...hes a poser, hes not committed to that life style like my uncle. but I digress, see I get it now, in his mind he he aceppted that he was addicted to crack, and he couldn't fight it so he embraced it and became the best crackhead that he could become. yeah I know that sound crazy to the avg person and rightfully so but Im totally against drug use but the point Im trying to make is , u have to find your purpose and your niche and live free ...I think thats the key to true inner peace
I feel enlightened and my vision is so clear, I'm learning myself in this spiritual journey Ive been thinking...I used to be lost in this society, trapped like most young black people...finding our way in this cold "post racial" capitalistic society. I think alot of us get lost trying to negative this matrix....a society were we dont feel like we belong....These urban enclaves, where all we see is negativity...I didnt know who I was, or who I wanted to be....was it a cool nikka that get all types of p*ssy and push the white 500 benz with the cherry seats? or the educated guy with office job that wear the suit and tie? or the capitalist entrepreneur thats worth millions and own everything and play life like a game of monopoly? or a family man that follow society guide by the book?....or do I want to help people and build things to let them see their dreams? and the answer I want all all of it but like the yin and yang u cant have everything....
and Now I found out what I really want....its simple...freedom and new experiences, happiness first and then to build on that...i want to own a business and I do(contrary to popular belief that im a lying nikka with noting" but I want my business to represent me and I want ppl that fukk with me for me and the ppl that dont fukk with me...hey thats ok too, not everybody is going to see the same vision and thats cool....and I dont care about money anymore , along as I have enough to pay bills, cover necessities and travel Im good, take care for family stuck in rough spots....I was talking to my grand father yesterday(whos a great man, a true innovator and family man, i wish the world had a chance to know about him) my pops is a great man too...we see just see the world different, and thats ok and Im starting lose the resentment I have toward him and appreciate his positives and instead of his flaws...and begin the healing process....but I digress, anyway Back to where I was, me and my grandfather was talking about how materialism and consumption is destroying humanity. So I dont care about materialism either...as long I can travel and experience new things...
my dream was always to travel as a youngster, while everybody was in school aka prison, talking about the usual bullshyt that young kids talk about....and rightfully so because we were children....I was staring in the history (the only subject I liked) book looking at the map, reading about all the cultures and ppl...just dreaming of seeing the world and everything it have to offer...I always was the odd ball and had to pretend to fit in school.....I got along with everybody but I couldn't relate to nobody ....nikkas was talking about rap n shyt, I would be off in my thoughts thinking about the day I would be free...and not living a life were I was obligated to be under another person authority....Ive always hated authority, bosses, cops, managers, teachers, elders....I still hate them with a passion....fukk I look like having some cock sucking mothafukka that cant tie his shoes and chew gum, that got his job through nepotism tell me what to do? man fukk that....I always knew that I wanted to be free from a young age and figure it out no matter how hard...
I guess that why i come across so angry about the topic of entrepreneurship...because I dont even really care about business to tell u the truth, My passion is freedom , and I see business as a tool to get the vehicle to get me there..... and yeah Im guilty of desiring, materialism, sex, like everybody, and sometimes I still want to be the fly nikka on the strip with the drop top with a fly IG hoe riding shotgun , with the gold chain, watch, ear rings shining...but fukk that...those that just traps created by satan to keep u chasing something that dont exist....But , its not about that life is bigger than that and this whole system is predicated on chasing illusions, while the elite sit back and feel like gods watching us peasants wondering aimlessly like a game of the sims.
Seeing my mother work everyday, coming home tired and complaining...always scared me, I told myself..."i will never become that". and growing up in a place like Buffalo NY for black person is rough...its so bleak, it takes alot to not fall into the many traps laying around...The lack of opportunity, discrimination Ive faced has crippled me ...having doors shut in my family when all I wanted was the chance to provide for myself and work hard....but but in Amerikkka, just wanting to be a decent hard working person is asking for too much, u gotta come up with all these fukking abstract hustles, strategies, niches and plots just to keep your lights on. U just cant be a honest qualified black man....thats scary....So in order to figure a way out of a place like this, u really gotta figure out...because if u dont, hell awaits...and ive seen ppl in my family litterly get stuck in poverty there whole life...drinking and drugging the pain away, trapped in ghetto with no hope...and I always told myself that wouldnt be me, no matter how hard I had to work...I will figure it out....well im 28 now , and although still young i guess, Im trying to figure it out and put it together
I always wanted to be at the top of something,Im very ambitious....but for the wrong reasons.......I wanted to be the man at the top of the hill....and slay everybody that I ever had a bad experience with...and now I realize that my mission is bigger than them...IM not into forgiveness, fukk them but at the same time....I dont have to hate them either ....I need to use my ambition to help people, change lives , and be recognized for my craft and not to stunt on people and try to make ppl feel bad .........
Life is short, and society is obviously collapsing, we cant change the world but we can change ourselves, so lets be free and enjoy this bytch before it fall.....Im humbled and feel good on the inside , now that I know my true direction....the pain is still there, but IM working on healing it....but Im transforming back into the real me...not the bitter angry guy on the coli that hate life and hate everybody that refuse to follow my guide...Im changing back into the young boy at the lunch table who just wanted freedoom and happiness
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