I feel like a champion.

Lo-Co

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For the first time in years I feel that I've conquered my depression. I used to have this fukked up view of myself that I wasn't shyt and was destined to fail. For years I kept rewatching my failures over and over like Bill Buckner when he messed up in the 86 world series. The root of it all was losing so many people at an early age, and just not fitting in. my depression drove the friends i had away at one point. . I was suicidal And attempted without hesitation. I remember that summer. I wound up in a psychiatric ward for a month. It honestly helped me see what I needed to do. I didn't love myself enough. I felt like this pessimistic loser that would never amount to anything. I've been by myself with minimal friend contact for years. It did nothing but motivate me. And realize who my real friends were. So i I had to go through years of rebuilding. And open my eyes instead of remaining inside the hole i put myself into. I couldn't go out like the others I've seen succumb to depression. I've watched the process just drain the hope out my father. I couldn't let my mom go through that again. I read every day, my grades are better, I just feel like anything is possible. I feel like I'm an asset to this world rather than a waste.
I'm going to crush buildings in 2016:blessed:
 

MikeyC

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Knuckles Red

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Good for you, OP!! I'm so glad that you have found the motivation to move forward with your life in a positive way. I'm so happy that you finally found value within yourself. As someone who also battles depression (and have for years) I know how shytty it can feel. Best wishes to you, and I wish you nothing but peace and prosperity!!
 

Lo-Co

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Good for you, OP!! I'm so glad that you have found the motivation to move forward with your life in a positive way. I'm so happy that you finally found value within yourself. As someone who also battles depression (and have for years) I know how shytty it can feel. Best wishes to you, and I wish you nothing but peace and prosperity!!
It took five long years to snap out of my depression. This is the fuel I need to start losing weight. I already drink a gallon of water a day. But I just need to hit the gym. I feel like I drank 10 cups of coffee right now
 

Neuromancer

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It took five long years to snap out of my depression. This is the fuel I need to start losing weight. I already drink a gallon of water a day. But I just need to hit the gym. I feel like I drank 10 cups of coffee right now


Well its an hormonal imbalance, so its good you took those 5 years to balance your thoughts.

I used to be extremely obsessive, I can relate to Elliot Rodgers, I used to even get thrown off by a smirk.

Now things just roll off my back. Its a wonderful feeling. My nerves used to be bad.
 

Lo-Co

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:blessed: real shyt, breh...what did it?
Reliving a series of moments. Being in a psychiatric hospital wasn't for me. It helped set off the mental rehabilitation. I used to just vent to people. I wrote stories from my perspective.
Another thing was My father. My father was a good man but he had his demons. He drank and it became too much for my mom after a while. Cause she didn't want me around that. He committed suicide around July of '07. And reliving that day along with reliving the moment seeing my brother break down when he found out I tried the same thing woke me up.
My grandfather was the main motivator though. He believed in me from the beginning. He had this hurt look when he found out about my father.
I just HAD to change my life. Be the man I can be. I tell myself that I'm destined for greatness every morning. :blessed:
 
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