I hate hearing excuses for woman who return to abusive relationships

[Frump]

If you read articles or listen to stories on YouTube you have some woman who make it seem like something goes off in your brain after abuse to where you have no choice but to keep coming back to your abuser and it’s beyond your control.

That’s garbage. There are plenty of women who get abused and are smart enough to leave after the first time. They are well adjusted people who don’t fall for any of the excuses.

Imo the ones who stay have trauma and self esteem issues from childhood and that’s why they stay. Until they go see a professional and deal head on with the trauma they will keep going back to these dangerous situations.

But to act like all women have no control over the situation and are mentally broken and just can’t leave is disingenuous and unfair to all the ladies who do leave after the first time.

I feel for any woman who’s been abused it’s horrific but if you just keep continuing the cycle without some soul searching as to why you keep returning it will get you killed.

 

[Commish]

OP..

Do you know any women who are in abusive relationships?

If so, would you tell them that you don’t wanna hear any excuses?

 

[Frump]

OP..

Do you know any women who are in abusive relationships?

If so, would you tell them that you don’t wanna hear any excuses?

I do know one.

and no i wouldn’t put it that exact way. There is a way to phrase things.

I just think the excuse to make it seem like it’s totally out of all women’s control is a bit much.

Like I said they do have an excuse and it’s usually low self esteem/childhood trauma as to why they stay but you have to be able to realize that you do have an out you just need professional help

 

[Clay Puppington]

Imo the ones who stay have trauma and self esteem issues from childhood and that’s why they stay. Until they go see a professional and deal head on with the trauma they will keep going back to these dangerous situations.

Why did you make this thread then? To rag on abused women? Lol you already pulled out the answer right here.

 

[Ya' Cousin Cleon]

I hate the fact they're abused in general more so than the reasoning why they stay, but that's just me

 

[MaxPain]

Broads like that are drama queens who go back over & over again to stay excited. They are just as toxic as the men abusing them

In other words, let them hoes get boop bopped

That’s what they want.

 

[Scustin Bieburr]

The ones that keep going into abusive relationships but who are well adjusted are only good at APPEARING well adjusted. They're just as fukked up mentally but are better at hiding it.

You know its irrational behavior to continue to hang out with someone who hurt you when you have a choice not to. Your role as a man is to basically spot these women early and refuse to let them into your life if you have any choice in the matter. They are filled with chaotic energy and have smoke for anyone who wants to genuinely help them.

 

[Frump]

Why did you make this thread then? To rag on abused women? Lol you already pulled out the answer right here.

No not at all.

It’s to the ones who act like it’s beyond their control as to why they keep coming back

You have to do some soul searching if you keep returning to these situations as to why you keep coming back not act like “ fukk it I can’t control myself from returning it is what it is”

 

[semicko82]

In

 

[Frump]

I hate the fact they're abused in general more so than the reasoning why they stay, but that's just me

So do I.

My point was just staying in that cycle and saying it is what it is fukk it instead of soul searching is gonna get you killed.

It’s just frustrating seeing people you care about not seem to care about themselves

 

[Commish]

I do know one.

and no i wouldn’t put it that exact way. There is a way to phrase things.

I just think the excuse to make it seem like it’s totally out of all women’s control is a bit much.

Like I said they do have an excuse and it’s usually low self esteem/childhood trauma as to why they stay but you have to be able to realize that you do have an out you just need professional help

I understand your point, but please understand that these types of relationships are rather complicated.

As men, whenever we are in a situation where we feel our lives are in jeopardy, we will try to neutralize the threat. Women think differently and many of them are in situations where children are involved, so they have to think about their actions not only for their own safety but the safety of their children as well.

Now, I personally wish that more women will use the resources available to them to get out of situations, but ultimately, the the decisions is theirs to make.

I wouldn’t tell a woman in that situation that I don’t wanna hear any excuses. I am tactful. However, deep down, I don’t want to get involved with someone who isn’t at least trying to seek help and is willing to set aside their “feelings” for their abuser.

I have compassion, but I also have common sense.

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

give them advice once. if they stay or return then assume they love it there.

 

[semicko82]

So do I.

My point was just staying in that cycle and saying it is what it is fukk it instead of soul searching is gonna get you killed.

It’s just frustrating seeing people you care about not seem to care about themselves

I’ve been down that road with a family member
It got to a point thinking I might have to catch a body
This family member had plenty of opportunities to escape the abusive situation, but she had low self esteem and liked drama so it’s only so much you can do in those situations

 

[Frump]

I understand your point, but please understand that these types of relationships are rather complicated.

As men, whenever we are in a situation where we feel our lives are in jeopardy, we will try to neutralize the threat. Women think differently and many of them are in situations where children are involved, so they have to think about their actions not only for their own safety but the safety of their children as well.

Now, I personally wish that more women will use the resources available to them to get out of situations, but ultimately, the the decisions is theirs to make.

I wouldn’t tell a woman in that situation that I don’t wanna hear any excuses. I am tactful. However, deep down, I don’t want to get involved with someone who isn’t at least trying to seek help and is willing to set aside their “feelings” for their abuser.

I have compassion, but I also have common sense.

Yeah that’s my only point you worded it better then me.

I have the utmost compassion and empathy for women who’ve been abused and also a lot of these same women were getting abused as a kid and its why that type of behavior seems normal to them so I get it.

But at some point in your life you have to take the reigns and as you said if an abusive women’s not at least trying to make steps to figure out why she’s accepting it and how to one day get out then theres no helping her.

 

[desjardins]

I'm sure there is some psychological reason why they don't leave since abusive relationships often have narcissism and control involved.
Due to observations in the past I have a 1 time rule for that stuff. I'll hear you out, help you move, and maybe even talk with the dude the first time if a woman comes to me for help. After that they on their own