This is a long story and I'm not sure how to make it short without leaving out important details.
I have a good friend I have know for 25+ years, best man at his wedding, business together and what have you.
I met his wife the same time he met her and we all have been friends over the past 15 years.
Over the past 3 years since they have had kids (I thought) the relationship has grown closer in the below ways.
1) We would plan for me to vacation down to them they would offer for me to stay over for the week+ but I would get a hotel own car to not be too much of a burden
2) Both husband and wife would text me and send videos about their kids frequentky
2) They named me godfather of their youngest child
3) They asked me to take care of their kids if they both pass.
4) When they would visit me the family stayed over at my place and I would be at family events with them
5) The husband had cancer. Fully recovered now but they asked me to help out during his recovery so I did.
6) Because of my job I can work remote and we talked about how great the south is and moving down...
7) When they would come to NY they wanted to stay at my place
So I moved down late last year about 30-40 min away from where they live (not just for them but combination weather, prices, lifestyle). I would go over once a week, they said I should be in the girls (kids) life and involved and so on id play with the kids, go out to dinner hang and then go home. They asked me to babysit a few times...
After about 6-7 weeks of me going over a handful of times (including them asking me to babysit) for a handfull of hours the wife freaks out. She starts crying and yelling saying she feels like she doesn't have control and then threatens me and says you wouldn't be down here if I didn't want you down here and is in hysterics.
After talking calmly to her and calming her down (her husband is here for all this) I leave and have this uneasy feeling like what is really going on? as this came out of left field. I only went back to their place a few days later because I agreed to babysit weeks in advance after that I have not been back there (not invited over and not inviting myself over) since late January. Also they have not come up to visit me (they came up the first day I moved in but that was 3+ months ago). The husband will say the kids are asking about you maybe we will come up. I am friendly and say you are always welcome but they never do.
After his wifes freak out I went out with the husband and others for drinks and he said "We just didn't know what you wanted" and "Its new for us having you around it will take time" “It’s not my fault how your life turned out” Go back to your town for community”
So now not only did the wife yell and threaten me the husband started to gaslight me obviously to defend his wifes wierdo behavior.
My feelings are I don't want to be involved anymore as I have things to do and don't need turmoil and disrespect when I was following instructions and they asked me to be involved and being a giving person...Whats your take advice?
I have a good friend I have know for 25+ years, best man at his wedding, business together and what have you.
I met his wife the same time he met her and we all have been friends over the past 15 years.
Over the past 3 years since they have had kids (I thought) the relationship has grown closer in the below ways.
1) We would plan for me to vacation down to them they would offer for me to stay over for the week+ but I would get a hotel own car to not be too much of a burden
2) Both husband and wife would text me and send videos about their kids frequentky
2) They named me godfather of their youngest child
3) They asked me to take care of their kids if they both pass.
4) When they would visit me the family stayed over at my place and I would be at family events with them
5) The husband had cancer. Fully recovered now but they asked me to help out during his recovery so I did.
6) Because of my job I can work remote and we talked about how great the south is and moving down...
7) When they would come to NY they wanted to stay at my place
So I moved down late last year about 30-40 min away from where they live (not just for them but combination weather, prices, lifestyle). I would go over once a week, they said I should be in the girls (kids) life and involved and so on id play with the kids, go out to dinner hang and then go home. They asked me to babysit a few times...
After about 6-7 weeks of me going over a handful of times (including them asking me to babysit) for a handfull of hours the wife freaks out. She starts crying and yelling saying she feels like she doesn't have control and then threatens me and says you wouldn't be down here if I didn't want you down here and is in hysterics.
After talking calmly to her and calming her down (her husband is here for all this) I leave and have this uneasy feeling like what is really going on? as this came out of left field. I only went back to their place a few days later because I agreed to babysit weeks in advance after that I have not been back there (not invited over and not inviting myself over) since late January. Also they have not come up to visit me (they came up the first day I moved in but that was 3+ months ago). The husband will say the kids are asking about you maybe we will come up. I am friendly and say you are always welcome but they never do.
After his wifes freak out I went out with the husband and others for drinks and he said "We just didn't know what you wanted" and "Its new for us having you around it will take time" “It’s not my fault how your life turned out” Go back to your town for community”
So now not only did the wife yell and threaten me the husband started to gaslight me obviously to defend his wifes wierdo behavior.
My feelings are I don't want to be involved anymore as I have things to do and don't need turmoil and disrespect when I was following instructions and they asked me to be involved and being a giving person...Whats your take advice?
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