I just found the goat site..http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/

[Professor Mac]

It's One Thing If She Slept Around, It's Another If It Was His Brother Who He Has To See For The Rest Of His Life And See Both Of Them Together At Family Functions

And The Brother Was A Real Man To Bring It Up, Should He Have Had Hid It?

You Sounding Like A Female Right Now

There's Like 8 Billion Women On Earth I'm Sure He Can Find Another

Yeah.. there a billion females in this world.. but there's only one that he has a date scheduled to marry Plus he doesn't sound like that type of guy that's interested in meeting random girls for hookups.. He found the one that makes him happy and her college history shouldn't change that..


Man you should thin skinned and insecure if you wife being around some dude she fukked one some one night stand shyt ten years ago bothers you ..

How do you think women wo were once married +has children with her spouse operatate with they remarry and have to do the co-parenting thing.. .. The way you think everybody on this planet would be single for the rest of there lives

Furthermore do you know the history of every girl you dated?


And it's cool his brother told him, but to give him the explicit details (that clearly the only folks around town had enough class to leave out) was some immature jealous bullshyt.

You obviously not from Harlem
'
Its one thing to be like "bro I fukked you fiance in college, but its a whole other level to be like "I came in her mouth", and "she ate my ass" .. Only person that would give details like that is a hating motherfukker.. not somebody that actually cares about your happiness. .. Hopefully dude looks past all the bullshyt and marries his woman ..

 

[karim]

@ the in this thread.

 

[ORDER_66]

Brother-in-law ruined my marriage.
I really really need some guidance because I'm just an emotional wreck right now! I've only been married for 3 years and me and my wife have 1 son together. I love her to death and would do anything for her. Her brother is an Iraqi war vet but he is also 100% disabled. He got injured in a car accident here in the states but it happened while he was still on active duty. He has trouble caring for himself since he suffered a back injury as well as the lost of a finger. A few months ago, he needed to get surgery at the VA and me and my wife moved in with him once he was discharged so we can care for him until he is healthy enough to care for himself. We've always had a good relationship and I've always liked the guy. Me and my wife would take turns going to work and caring for him and this went on for weeks. So one day my wife was at work and he was in the bedroom laying down. I was playing the game in the living room when I heard a noise coming from his room. I thought he had fell out the bed so I ran in to see what happened. I came in and saw him masturbating. It caught me by surprise so I just kind of froze. He said something along the lines of am I just going to stand there and watch or am I going to come give him a hand. I really didn't know what to do since we are the only people that really care for him and he really doesn't get any female attention since he's always in the house and has gained quite a bit of weight. I just wanted to make him happy and it didn't seem wrong at the time so I went over and helped him.

This ended up opening a can of worms because he would always ask me to do that. God I knew it was wrong and I told him I didn't really want to but I was only doing this to make him happy. I also told him that it needs to stay between us. There have been a couple occasions where he asked for oral sex and yes, I did it those times but it was never until completion since I didn't feel comfortable with thaht. He got addicted to all this and started to use me. Even after we moved out, he would call my wife and ask her if I could come over and play the playstation with him. Me and my wife would fight about it because I didn't want to go because I knew what he wanted. She thought I was neglecting him so she always made me go. So the problem came to a head this week when he was arguing with my wife about co-signing on a car. We have good credit but his credit is bad. She told him he should save and build his credit but he wanted a co-signer now. They had a big fight so he told her everything that he did with me. He told her that I have been coming over everyday giving him hand jobs and blow jobs. My wife didn't believe it but he showed her some pictures he snapped as well as some texts where we are talking about it. I didn't even know he had pics but he showed them to her and put them on facebook briefly when he was upset. He totally ****ed up my life. I never liked doing this but I only did it to make him happy. I'm also not gay or bisexual. I was just helping out. My wife doesn't see it like this and she moved out. I feel like total **** because she is a good girl and doesn't deserve this. She has met with an attorney and wants a divorce. He has apologized to the both of us but the damage is done. Here I am alone over something stupid that I never should have did. She says that's it's ok if I'm gay but the truth is that I'm not!! Come to find out, her brother is bi and I never knew that. I need help to convince her to start over. I'm sorry and I thought I was helping her by helping him. I know I shouldn't have done it but I feel like I deserve another chance.

 

[ThaBronxBully]

Yeah.. there a billion females in this world.. but there's only one that he has a date scheduled to marry Plus he doesn't sound like that type of guy that's interested in meeting random girls for hookups.. He found the one that makes him happy and her college history shouldn't change that..


Man you should thin skinned and insecure if you wife being around some dude she fukked one some one night stand shyt ten years ago bothers you ..

How do you think women wo were once married +has children with her spouse operatate with they remarry and have to do the co-parenting thing.. .. The way you think everybody on this planet would be single for the rest of there lives

Furthermore do you know the history of every girl you dated?


And it's cool his brother told him, but to give him the explicit details (that clearly the only folks around town had enough class to leave out) was some immature jealous bullshyt.

You obviously not from Harlem
'
Its one thing to be like "bro I fukked you fiance in college, but its a whole other level to be like "I came in her mouth", and "she ate my ass" .. Only person that would give details like that is a hating motherfukker.. not somebody that actually cares about your happiness. .. Hopefully dude looks past all the bullshyt and marries his woman ..

Your Comprehension Lost

You Keep Saying She fukked "Some Dude" Years Ago

We Know All Girls Have A Past That's Not The Issue, Clearly This Dude Is Bothered By It, If It Bothers Him Then Why Keep Going He's Gonna Be Miserable

And He Specifically States He Asked For All Those Details

 

[Professor Mac]

Your Comprehension Lost

You Keep Saying She fukked "Some Dude" Years Ago

We Know All Girls Have A Past That's Not The Issue, Clearly This Dude Is Bothered By It, If It Bothers Him Then Why Keep Going He's Gonna Be Miserable

And He Specifically States He Asked For All Those Details

I have comprehension issues?? Quote me where he said he asked for the specifics of what kinda sex they had

Telling you bother that you came in his fiances mouth back in college was uncalled for


He's bothered by it.. but more then that is he's confused as to how he should feel about what he just learned.. hence why he's asking for advice.

It's too close to the wedding date, and he's a virgin.. Im 99% sure hes going to talk himself into still marrying her. nikkas out here marrying women that's been divorced, and women that have children from one night stands, and ex porn stars.

Her past doesn't mean shyt.


I am concerned however as to why she said she doesn't want to give blow job and painted herself as some kinda angle.. That deception that deserves more scrutiny because you don't wanna marry a women with honesty issues.

 

[kevm3]

Man its hard AF out here to find a girl who you think that completes you.. If you're one of the lucky one to find that girl its best that you do what you can to keep her.

As long as she never did that she while they were together who give AF.. That's childish to care about who a person fukked before y'all ever met. Can't throw away potentially a lifetime of happiness based on priors.. Ok she had sex before him.. Okay a guy came when she had sex.. big fukking deal.. It was a phase in her life Its better she got it out of the way before she got married... Besides his brother sounds low key jealous imo bringing up some old shyt

There's a huge difference between a woman sleeping with her boyfriends and between her getting tag teamed and being known all around town. His brother is telling him the real, and if he goes through with this, he's a sucka

 

[Chrishaune]

Brother-in-law ruined my marriage.
I really really need some guidance because I'm just an emotional wreck right now! I've only been married for 3 years and me and my wife have 1 son together. I love her to death and would do anything for her. Her brother is an Iraqi war vet but he is also 100% disabled. He got injured in a car accident here in the states but it happened while he was still on active duty. He has trouble caring for himself since he suffered a back injury as well as the lost of a finger. A few months ago, he needed to get surgery at the VA and me and my wife moved in with him once he was discharged so we can care for him until he is healthy enough to care for himself. We've always had a good relationship and I've always liked the guy. Me and my wife would take turns going to work and caring for him and this went on for weeks. So one day my wife was at work and he was in the bedroom laying down. I was playing the game in the living room when I heard a noise coming from his room. I thought he had fell out the bed so I ran in to see what happened. I came in and saw him masturbating. It caught me by surprise so I just kind of froze. He said something along the lines of am I just going to stand there and watch or am I going to come give him a hand. I really didn't know what to do since we are the only people that really care for him and he really doesn't get any female attention since he's always in the house and has gained quite a bit of weight. I just wanted to make him happy and it didn't seem wrong at the time so I went over and helped him.

This ended up opening a can of worms because he would always ask me to do that. God I knew it was wrong and I told him I didn't really want to but I was only doing this to make him happy. I also told him that it needs to stay between us. There have been a couple occasions where he asked for oral sex and yes, I did it those times but it was never until completion since I didn't feel comfortable with thaht. He got addicted to all this and started to use me. Even after we moved out, he would call my wife and ask her if I could come over and play the playstation with him. Me and my wife would fight about it because I didn't want to go because I knew what he wanted. She thought I was neglecting him so she always made me go. So the problem came to a head this week when he was arguing with my wife about co-signing on a car. We have good credit but his credit is bad. She told him he should save and build his credit but he wanted a co-signer now. They had a big fight so he told her everything that he did with me. He told her that I have been coming over everyday giving him hand jobs and blow jobs. My wife didn't believe it but he showed her some pictures he snapped as well as some texts where we are talking about it. I didn't even know he had pics but he showed them to her and put them on facebook briefly when he was upset. He totally ****ed up my life. I never liked doing this but I only did it to make him happy. I'm also not gay or bisexual. I was just helping out. My wife doesn't see it like this and she moved out. I feel like total **** because she is a good girl and doesn't deserve this. She has met with an attorney and wants a divorce. He has apologized to the both of us but the damage is done. Here I am alone over something stupid that I never should have did. She says that's it's ok if I'm gay but the truth is that I'm not!! Come to find out, her brother is bi and I never knew that. I need help to convince her to start over. I'm sorry and I thought I was helping her by helping him. I know I shouldn't have done it but I feel like I deserve another chance.

I shouldn't have read as much as I did.....got through the first paragraph and stopped......





I thought this the other day, but there are on that site......

 

[b. woods]

Brother-in-law ruined my marriage.
I really really need some guidance because I'm just an emotional wreck right now! I've only been married for 3 years and me and my wife have 1 son together. I love her to death and would do anything for her. Her brother is an Iraqi war vet but he is also 100% disabled. He got injured in a car accident here in the states but it happened while he was still on active duty. He has trouble caring for himself since he suffered a back injury as well as the lost of a finger. A few months ago, he needed to get surgery at the VA and me and my wife moved in with him once he was discharged so we can care for him until he is healthy enough to care for himself. We've always had a good relationship and I've always liked the guy. Me and my wife would take turns going to work and caring for him and this went on for weeks. So one day my wife was at work and he was in the bedroom laying down. I was playing the game in the living room when I heard a noise coming from his room. I thought he had fell out the bed so I ran in to see what happened. I came in and saw him masturbating. It caught me by surprise so I just kind of froze. He said something along the lines of am I just going to stand there and watch or am I going to come give him a hand. I really didn't know what to do since we are the only people that really care for him and he really doesn't get any female attention since he's always in the house and has gained quite a bit of weight. I just wanted to make him happy and it didn't seem wrong at the time so I went over and helped him.

This ended up opening a can of worms because he would always ask me to do that. God I knew it was wrong and I told him I didn't really want to but I was only doing this to make him happy. I also told him that it needs to stay between us. There have been a couple occasions where he asked for oral sex and yes, I did it those times but it was never until completion since I didn't feel comfortable with thaht. He got addicted to all this and started to use me. Even after we moved out, he would call my wife and ask her if I could come over and play the playstation with him. Me and my wife would fight about it because I didn't want to go because I knew what he wanted. She thought I was neglecting him so she always made me go. So the problem came to a head this week when he was arguing with my wife about co-signing on a car. We have good credit but his credit is bad. She told him he should save and build his credit but he wanted a co-signer now. They had a big fight so he told her everything that he did with me. He told her that I have been coming over everyday giving him hand jobs and blow jobs. My wife didn't believe it but he showed her some pictures he snapped as well as some texts where we are talking about it. I didn't even know he had pics but he showed them to her and put them on facebook briefly when he was upset. He totally ****ed up my life. I never liked doing this but I only did it to make him happy. I'm also not gay or bisexual. I was just helping out. My wife doesn't see it like this and she moved out. I feel like total **** because she is a good girl and doesn't deserve this. She has met with an attorney and wants a divorce. He has apologized to the both of us but the damage is done. Here I am alone over something stupid that I never should have did. She says that's it's ok if I'm gay but the truth is that I'm not!! Come to find out, her brother is bi and I never knew that. I need help to convince her to start over. I'm sorry and I thought I was helping her by helping him. I know I shouldn't have done it but I feel like I deserve another chance.

 

[DontDoIt]

Some of this shyt makes me not want to get married ever again

Should I call off my wedding? - Talk About Marriage

I'm in a terrible place and I need some advice. I live in Palo Alto but I'm originally from Virginia. I met a woman on a dating site almost 2 years ago. She is from my hometown back in VA. We talked for 6 months before meeting in person. I've met her back in Va numerous times and she has visited me here in quite a few times. I proposed back in November and she accepted. I was sure that she was the one and I loved her to the point where I know I wanted to spend my life with her. This past April, I finally decided to let her meet my family. I invited her to my home in VA and she met my parents, both my sisters, and my brother. Everything went well and everyone seemed to like her. Since November, we've been making wedding plans, making reservations, preparing invitations. Our big day is supposed to be next month in July. Last week, I was home visiting and my brother called and said he needed to talk to me about something. He told me that there is something burning inside him and that he needed to tell me something. I could not imagine what it was but the news was that he knew my fiancee back in college. He said that she was quite the party girl and made her way around. He didn't want me to hear it from anyone else but he said that he, along with numerous other men at their school, slept with her. He said that he participated in a 3 way with her and another man. I didn't think he was telling the truth but I was stupid enough to ask for details. He talked about how they would get crazy drunk and she would sleep with him along with other numerous men. He said she had no shame and would routinely let men finish in her mouth and on her body. All in all, she was a real *****.

Still, I couldn't believe this. I asked a couple friends around town and I found out it was the truth. Their stories weren't as graphic but I could tell by their expressions that something more went on. I then confronted her about it and she first denied it. I kept bringing up names and dates and she eventually broke down crying and told me it was the truth. She said that she is "reformed" and doesn't participate in that behavior before. What hurts the most is that we are celibate until marriage. She never said that she was a virgin but she said that she wanted to wait until marriage for sex. I myself have never had sex before but I wanted our first time to be special on our wedding night. Although she hasn't cheated on me from what I know, I keep having these images of her in my head with my brother and other men. Also, she specifically told me that she isn't into oral and anal and I was fine with that. I love a woman that respects her body. However, I found that she has done both of these things with other men. I just feel like I'm the laughing stock of everybody at home. I feel like I'm getting the leftovers. I'm pretty successful in my career and I'm pulling 90k right now. My brother and the rest of his friends are barely pulling half that. Most of those guys are mostly jocks and knuckleheads while I've always been the one to bust my ass in school and in life. I feel like she had her fun and is settling with my because of my future. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I feel. My mother says I should give her a chance but I'm not feeling good about this. However, I also feel bad about calling off the wedding since I've made a lot of promises to her. As stupid as it sounds, I still love her. I don't know what I'm thinking and maybe I'm rambling but any advice would be helpful.

despicable

 

[AkaDemiK]

That step brother shyt got me crying lmfaoooooo

Wild homo

 

[DontDoIt]

about halfway though.

fukk marriage.

 

[Depreciating Asset]

Brother-in-law ruined my marriage.
I really really need some guidance because I'm just an emotional wreck right now! I've only been married for 3 years and me and my wife have 1 son together. I love her to death and would do anything for her. Her brother is an Iraqi war vet but he is also 100% disabled. He got injured in a car accident here in the states but it happened while he was still on active duty. He has trouble caring for himself since he suffered a back injury as well as the lost of a finger. A few months ago, he needed to get surgery at the VA and me and my wife moved in with him once he was discharged so we can care for him until he is healthy enough to care for himself. We've always had a good relationship and I've always liked the guy. Me and my wife would take turns going to work and caring for him and this went on for weeks. So one day my wife was at work and he was in the bedroom laying down. I was playing the game in the living room when I heard a noise coming from his room. I thought he had fell out the bed so I ran in to see what happened. I came in and saw him masturbating. It caught me by surprise so I just kind of froze. He said something along the lines of am I just going to stand there and watch or am I going to come give him a hand. I really didn't know what to do since we are the only people that really care for him and he really doesn't get any female attention since he's always in the house and has gained quite a bit of weight. I just wanted to make him happy and it didn't seem wrong at the time so I went over and helped him.

This ended up opening a can of worms because he would always ask me to do that. God I knew it was wrong and I told him I didn't really want to but I was only doing this to make him happy. I also told him that it needs to stay between us. There have been a couple occasions where he asked for oral sex and yes, I did it those times but it was never until completion since I didn't feel comfortable with thaht. He got addicted to all this and started to use me. Even after we moved out, he would call my wife and ask her if I could come over and play the playstation with him. Me and my wife would fight about it because I didn't want to go because I knew what he wanted. She thought I was neglecting him so she always made me go. So the problem came to a head this week when he was arguing with my wife about co-signing on a car. We have good credit but his credit is bad. She told him he should save and build his credit but he wanted a co-signer now. They had a big fight so he told her everything that he did with me. He told her that I have been coming over everyday giving him hand jobs and blow jobs. My wife didn't believe it but he showed her some pictures he snapped as well as some texts where we are talking about it. I didn't even know he had pics but he showed them to her and put them on facebook briefly when he was upset. He totally ****ed up my life. I never liked doing this but I only did it to make him happy. I'm also not gay or bisexual. I was just helping out. My wife doesn't see it like this and she moved out. I feel like total **** because she is a good girl and doesn't deserve this. She has met with an attorney and wants a divorce. He has apologized to the both of us but the damage is done. Here I am alone over something stupid that I never should have did. She says that's it's ok if I'm gay but the truth is that I'm not!! Come to find out, her brother is bi and I never knew that. I need help to convince her to start over. I'm sorry and I thought I was helping her by helping him. I know I shouldn't have done it but I feel like I deserve another chance.

 

[Professor Mac]

There's a huge difference between a woman sleeping with her boyfriends and between her getting tag teamed and being known all around town. His brother is telling him the real, and if he goes through with this, he's a sucka

nikka if you deemed every man or woman that did some groupie type shyt in their life (especially in college) unmarriable then that would end 40% of all marriages..

She never did ol boy wrong and that's what's important.

 

[Professor Mac]

He called off the Wedding

*We finally got a chance to discuss everything earlier today. I told her that it's not the multiple partners that I'm concerned about. It's the fact that she lied about it and that one of the men was my brother. I told her that maybe we don't know each other like we think we do and we should postpone the wedding until further notice. She flipped out on me and said that it's not fair that she is being judged for things that happened years ago before she even met me. She said that at that time in her life, she was lost and trying to fit in. She said that it was a dark time in her life that she wants to forget. She thinks my brother is a good man for telling me the truth but she says that she has no feelings for him and it was only sex before.

I'm really confused and I don't know what to do. She's right in a sense. It's not fair for me to judge her for things that happened before me. Besides this episode, I can't think of a single thing in her character that makes me not want to be with her. I truly love her and feel she is the woman of my dreams. As far as the lying, she said she wanted to tell me that she was with him before but didn't because she knew it would hurt me. In a way, I understand because I know how guilty she must have felt when she saw him at the house. I don't even know if I can fault her for that because she is not perfect. So for now, she is coming out this weekend and we will discuss face to face about the wedding. I was almost sure to cancel but now I'm feeling a bit guilty about it.

*I won't lie. I love her. I love her a lot. At the same time, I just have a feeling that this won't work out. Like somehow this whole thing will come back to bite me in the arse if I marry her. Outside of this problem, she is perfect. I couldn't ask for a woman with a better character. We will discuss things when she comes but I'm leaning more towards just calling off the relationship and moving on with my life. I can deal with being the laughing stock back home but having my brother in the mix is just too much for me.


*I'm feeling guilty because I'm judging her over her past. I'm not a perfect man and I've done some things that I'm ashamed of so it doesn't seem fair that I'm judging her for her past. As far as dodging the bullet, I think I've made up my mind about not only postponing the wedding, but just dumping her all together. We'll discuss that when she gets here but I just feel like I don't know her as much as I thought I did. Over this past 2 years, I thought we knew everything about each other and then I've literally been hit with a brick wall. There could be other secrets that could come out soon. Reading over this forum, it's a bit painful to see what people are going through over cheating. I already can't get the thoughts out of my head about her and my brother so I know I would really be crushed if she cheated on me while we are married. I know my family will always be behind me but I can hear my brother saying that he told me so. It just seems like the logical thing to do right now is to just walk away andstartnew. It hurts but I sure it will hurt much more if we are married and something happens 5 years from now. Maybe we can stay friends and if I can get over these thoughts, we can try again. Right now, I can't even think of her without thinking of these other men.

 

[Arithmetic]

Some of this shyt makes me not want to get married ever again

Should I call off my wedding? - Talk About Marriage

I'm in a terrible place and I need some advice. I live in Palo Alto but I'm originally from Virginia. I met a woman on a dating site almost 2 years ago. She is from my hometown back in VA. We talked for 6 months before meeting in person. I've met her back in Va numerous times and she has visited me here in quite a few times. I proposed back in November and she accepted. I was sure that she was the one and I loved her to the point where I know I wanted to spend my life with her. This past April, I finally decided to let her meet my family. I invited her to my home in VA and she met my parents, both my sisters, and my brother. Everything went well and everyone seemed to like her. Since November, we've been making wedding plans, making reservations, preparing invitations. Our big day is supposed to be next month in July. Last week, I was home visiting and my brother called and said he needed to talk to me about something. He told me that there is something burning inside him and that he needed to tell me something. I could not imagine what it was but the news was that he knew my fiancee back in college. He said that she was quite the party girl and made her way around. He didn't want me to hear it from anyone else but he said that he, along with numerous other men at their school, slept with her. He said that he participated in a 3 way with her and another man. I didn't think he was telling the truth but I was stupid enough to ask for details. He talked about how they would get crazy drunk and she would sleep with him along with other numerous men. He said she had no shame and would routinely let men finish in her mouth and on her body. All in all, she was a real *****.

Still, I couldn't believe this. I asked a couple friends around town and I found out it was the truth. Their stories weren't as graphic but I could tell by their expressions that something more went on. I then confronted her about it and she first denied it. I kept bringing up names and dates and she eventually broke down crying and told me it was the truth. She said that she is "reformed" and doesn't participate in that behavior before. What hurts the most is that we are celibate until marriage. She never said that she was a virgin but she said that she wanted to wait until marriage for sex. I myself have never had sex before but I wanted our first time to be special on our wedding night. Although she hasn't cheated on me from what I know, I keep having these images of her in my head with my brother and other men. Also, she specifically told me that she isn't into oral and anal and I was fine with that. I love a woman that respects her body. However, I found that she has done both of these things with other men. I just feel like I'm the laughing stock of everybody at home. I feel like I'm getting the leftovers. I'm pretty successful in my career and I'm pulling 90k right now. My brother and the rest of his friends are barely pulling half that. Most of those guys are mostly jocks and knuckleheads while I've always been the one to bust my ass in school and in life. I feel like she had her fun and is settling with my because of my future. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I feel. My mother says I should give her a chance but I'm not feeling good about this. However, I also feel bad about calling off the wedding since I've made a lot of promises to her. As stupid as it sounds, I still love her. I don't know what I'm thinking and maybe I'm rambling but any advice would be helpful.