i just realized why i truly have never desired being in a relationship

[Dont@Me]

i'm sittin here watchin bel-air 2022 (fire show btw, go and watch), and Phillip Banks and Vivian had this scene where they had their foreheads pressed against each other with the family circled around them. I realized that was a foreign observation for me because i don't have any memory of my mom and dad being lovey dovey or even any memories of us together whole as a family. They got divorced later on in life which fukked me up , but just never even having any working memory of being a complete loving family made me the lone wolf kinda dude who just smashes chicks and leaves .

Diary entry #22

 

[Crude]

Love is about responsibility and duty.

Like is all about feeling good in the moment.

Don’t confuse the two.

A lot of people get hardened by life and the duty and responsibility kicks in but they don’t necessarily like one another anymore.

A lot of our parents, aunts , uncles, and grandparents did not do a great job in fostering environments of “like” they just leaned into their duty and responsibility. They provided the necessities and hoped that you realized they love you without actually communicating it and providing nurture.

In turn there a lot of confused adults that don’t know how to convey themselves and express love, like, feelings appreciation, and admiration wonder the world confused.

 

[Dont@Me]

Love is about responsibility and duty.

Like is all about feeling good in the moment.

Don’t confuse the two.

A lot of people get hardened by life and the duty and responsibility kicks in but they don’t necessarily like one another anymore.

A lot of our parents, aunts , uncles, and grandparents did not do a great job in fostering environments of “like” they just leaned into their duty and responsibility. They provided the necessities and hoped that you realized they love you without actually communicating it and providing nurture.

In turn there a lot of confused adults that don’t know how to convey themselves and express love, like, feelings appreciation, and admiration wonder the world confused.

that might be why i have never experience love in this respect either. My parents never liked OR loved each other

 

[TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?]

Trashcan fakkit baby

 

[Crude]

that might be why i have never experience love in this respect either. My parents never liked OR loved each other

I think they loved one another they just probably didn’t like each other at the end and that’s important. Arguably just as important as love.

 

[Dont@Me]

I think they loved one another they just probably didn’t like each other at the end and that’s important. Arguably just as important as love.

they constantly argued and called each other foul shyt in front of me which is my earliest memories of them together breh

there was violent custody battles breh


they DIVORCED breh


now what was that love/like shyt you was sayin?

 

[Crude]

they constantly argued and called each other foul shyt in front of me which is my earliest memories of them together breh

there was violent custody battles breh


they DIVORCED breh


now what was that love/like shyt you was sayin?

People grow apart and say hurtful things that they don’t necessarily mean, that doesnt mean they didn’t love one another though.

A lot of times the arguing and belittling remarks come from a place of frustration.

Doesn’t make it right either.

They probably loved one another but one or both likely outgrew the other and there was no like there anymore because they couldn’t figure out how to work through their differences.

It happens.

 

[TRUEST]

that might be why i have never experience love in this respect either. My parents never liked OR loved each other

Are you Indian? Arranged marriage it sounds like. It’s ok. Coli loves you.

 

[BlackBall]

I did a 17 year bid and left her You can only do so much

 

[Dont@Me]

People grow apart and say hurtful things that they don’t necessarily mean, that doesnt mean they didn’t love one another though.

A lot of times the arguing and belittling remarks come from a place of frustration.

Doesn’t make it right either.

They probably loved one another but one or both likely outgrew the other and there was no like there anymore because they couldn’t figure out how to work through their differences.

It happens.

My mom cheated on my pops and even brought the man home to me and my brother while she was still married

My dad was palpably depressed until his death about it

They loved each other though?

 

[DreamyKnights]

You don’t feel like you’re missing out on something??

 

[Dont@Me]

You don’t feel like you’re missing out on something??

Yea. I'm missing out on actually giving a fukk

 

[Nokids]

My moms and pops still together after 34 years but when they came to visit it was like they kept bickering with each other and I’m like shyt either you get left or be with a woman who can change at anytime and it’s a fukked up situation

 

[King]

Love is about responsibility and duty.

Like is all about feeling good in the moment.

Don’t confuse the two.

A lot of people get hardened by life and the duty and responsibility kicks in but they don’t necessarily like one another anymore.

A lot of our parents, aunts , uncles, and grandparents did not do a great job in fostering environments of “like” they just leaned into their duty and responsibility. They provided the necessities and hoped that you realized they love you without actually communicating it and providing nurture.

In turn there a lot of confused adults that don’t know how to convey themselves and express love, like, feelings appreciation, and admiration wonder the world confused.

Responsibility and duty are weapons used in emotional avoidance and detachment.

Most people, especially black people, are together out of necessity rather than true love.

But really we’re just avoiding the elephant in thr room that black people as a whole are victimized and exploited on every level.

Including our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.

There’s no escaping it. Even the most sellout black bourgeoisie family, pillar of respectability, is toxic at its core.

There’s no escaping the reality of our situation - the root of where all of our problems are tied to.

 

[DreamyKnights]

My moms and pops still together after 34 years but when they came to visit it was like they kept bickering with each other and I’m like shyt either you get left or be with a woman who can change at anytime and it’s a fukked up situation

What’s that in your picture??