I need you brehs please give advice NOT GOOD

[sicksoulja]

To cut a long story short as possible my aunt serves as the babysitter of my two youngest kids 1 1/2 and 3 years old she called me and told me we need to find a new baby sitter the doctor told her she’s dying. She thanked me for giving her the opportunity to watch the kids, shyt broke me down brehs. Just a terrible terrible situation as my family is super close. I have 3 gigantic problems, and need advice on at least 1

Problem 1, I need to find a baby sitter ASAP child care is extremely expensive and we just can’t afford the shyt. With my first me and my wife worked different shifts over night and day, we hardly spent time with each other and was super stressing on our relationship almost caused us to end it. That right now is the least of my problems as I am sure some way we are going to work it out.

Problem 2, losing my aunt who I am extremely close with his hard for anyone. Losing a love one is terrible this where things get extremely tough. She said that I and the only person she shared this with and NOT TO TELL ANYONE she’s building her self up and when she gets the strength she will tell the family. She said the only reason she is telling me right now is because she watches my kids and I need to look to find a baby sitter. Problem with that her son is like a brother too me super close how I am going to be able to look him in the eyes and talk and he has no idea his mother is dying and I do. My mother who is her sister, how am I going to be able to not tell my mother that her sister is dying. My grandmother lives with my aunt how I am not going to tell her?

Problem 3 goes with 1 I guess, she said she enjoys watching my kids and she thanked me for giving her the opportunity. She said while I am looking she will continue to watch the kids. How can you feel comfortable with someone watching your kids that is going through so much. It has to be running threw her mind damn near every second that her time is limited. It’s no way anyone can be in the right state of mind. She claims that she is at peace with it and is ready to see her lord. She says she will watch the kids but giving me a notice. However my kids are bad is shyt, check they they good kids but they young almost every 2 and 3 year old are extremely tough to deal with at times.

 

[Taadow]

1. If your grandmother lives with your aunt, can your grandmother take over watching the kids?

2. Easy - understand it's not your business to tell anybody else. She's not ready.
Your auntie is trusting you with this news, so she must feel you are trustworthy.
If you do tell people before she wants it known, then you will destroy that trust - and the last
little bit of time she has with you will be strained.

3. If she says it has been a privilege, believe her. I think it may be good for her to continue to watch your kids, because that will give her something else to give attention to besides thinking about how she is about to die.

 

[SnowflakesByTheOZ]

Sorry to hear about your aunt breh. Like he said. She trusts you so please don't break that. I'll be back with more input but I'm at work right now. Pm if needed though bro. Stay positive

 

[Dad]

Peace & light to your family, breh.

For situation #1: respect her wishes and as tough as it is to look your cousin in the eyes, she trusted you with this info. regardless of how you feel about her decision - trust that it’s the right one for her & let her have her peace by respecting her wishes.

Situation #3: she’ll let you know when things get rough for her. I think abruptly taking the kids away is foul cuz you aren’t giving her a chance. Your babies are the highlight of her day. Im sure she knows her limits, breh

 

[get these nets]

OP

on number 2....MAN UP. Seriously. If your aunt has the strength to try to get her affairs in order BEFORE she speaks to people with all that's going on, you can keep your mouth shut until you get the signal.

 

[Jsully]

So you're talking about betraying a dying womans wishes cause you can't control your emotions??

Had to put it like that so you could see how disrespectful betraying her trust would be.

 

[Hijo de luna]

Damn breh. As cliche as it may sound, IT WILL WORK OUT...somehow. My wife gave up her career because my son was getting kicked out of daycares. We found a way to make it on one income.

 

[Gold]

Number 2 happened to me. Youre fukked 100%.
People telling you to man up arent realizing that you are fukked. Let me explain:

1. My uncle came to America because he had cancer and he wanted to get treatment here.

2. He didn't tell his family back home (he had 3 younger girls and a wife)

3. shyt got worse and he made us all promise not to tell our cousins

4. He was on his deathbed

5. My mom flew him back to Nigeria to die.

6. Upon seeing him,.his family was so angry with us for not telling them anything.

7. He died in Nigeria, and my cousins and aunt (his family), refuses to talk to any of us and hates us for not informing his family.

8. I was against not telling but it was his wish and my mom said she would honor it so we as a family honor it.

So before everyone shyts on you OP, its a real tough situation. If you dont tell her son, he may never ever forgive you. If your cousins knew your mom was dying and didn't tell you, it would be rough. Its real life, you are kinda fukked.

 

[HarlemHottie]

This is a tough one, breh. Don't be a snitch tho. If she can maintain, so can you.

 

[Ghostface Trillah]

Not really that tough honestly. You just don't want to deal with the truth and I totally understand that because the truth hurts.

1. You HAVE to find someone else to watch the kids. Your aunt is giving you the heads-up on this for a reason.

2. It's not your business or story to tell but you being the keeper of something this big you should get with her and help her build up the strength to tell everyone else. Even if you have to threaten her with you telling everyone. Don't let people knowingly spend their last days with someone without them knowing it. That respecting wishes shyt is going to go right out the window. Especially when people are resenting not having more time with her.

3. Do number 1, then get your aunt a trip to her dream vacation destination.

 

[sicksoulja]

Man much love to all y’all and appreciate it, I am still torn but needed the feedback.

To the breh that asked can my grandmother watches the kids, they kinda tag team it as my aunt maybe 80-20% grandmother just turned 80 and she has limited mobility in one hand, she can barley move her fingers. On top of the that has really bad asthma.

Come to think about it my little funds that I pay my aunt with goes a long way for the household.

My cousin and my mother both just called me for different reasons, I didn’t say anything thing. I am outside her house now sitting in the car not wanting to go in. I am hoping I can talk her into to at least telling her kids and her mother.

 

[sicksoulja]

Update, I spoke with her she gave me the tightest hug ever and cried on my shoulder. I felt the pain as well as the love, very emotional moment. She said that she told her mother and her sons, which is a huge relief. She did make me promise that I wouldn’t tell anyone which that includes my mother I guess.

Again I appreciate the brehs for all the advice on both sides. I am still torn life is going to get real challenging very very soon. She says she isn’t claiming it and is getting a second opinion pray for a miracle I guess.

 

[Take It In Blood]

This is a depressing ass thread

 

[Estarossa]

Damn bruh I hope your fam is able to pull through this ordeal.

 

[fckyoupayme]

I’m sorry about your aunt and hope the best for your family.

Do you have any friends with kids? Coworkers? Ask around who other people are using as babysitters.