RickyDiBiase
aka Hash Brown Hands
Ive always felt my old man was an unserious, jealous b*stard Unserious because he talked a big game but failed to be a disciplinarian when it called for it (my brother breaking my sister finger on purpose for example) or just doing too much clowning around, borderline c00ning. Jealous because I went into the military, got out, and started my own business, meanwhile his ass blew his bread on bullshyt and still working for the man. It seemed no matter what I did he just would go “well good for you” but be all smiles and daps for my bro and sis. He texted me asking how his grandson doing is the only time he ever seemed to reach out to me, but in reality it was Through me But that jealously and indifference has led me to live a life of consistent paranoia that made me hostile towards everyone else. Its ruined relationships of all strides. Its why coming up I punched holes in the wall or was always getting into fights and why Im insecure enough to disrespect other me by calling them “fakkit” and other bull….a father is suppoused to be a beacon of guiding light for his son, but i feel my mama did all that rearing. He was just there. But even as I say this with a full bank account, a happy wife that I can’t trust to stimulate me emotionally, he still won at the end of the day. People like him more. He’s funnier than me. Ya’ll would get a kick out of him My son will probably respect him more than I. Even through him and mom seperated and he’s cheated on most of the hoes he dated, bytches still wanna kick it with him, whereas I maintained a sense of decorum that I felt was benefical to my being but it has left me unhappy. It’s why O choose to break that cycle when it comes to raising my son. I need to be there for someone who was at the end of the day a hindrance to sharpening my outlook on this cruel world. I can’t even say I love the man. But I realize its unreasonable to hold any ill will towards him. He will always just be Darryl to me
