I showed up unannounced at my ex's apt ///

[ALonelyDad]

I didn't expect to see op tag the person. lol at them both posting here

 

[CinnamonTequila]

I didn't expect this thread to make it to 15 pages... Damn!!!

 

[Shabazz]

 

[SheWantTheD]

Given that it was the DR dude breaking bread on prostitutes?

 

[Tunez]

3/10

 

[Claudex]

Not allowed to. @CinnamonTequila says 'enough'

So...it was her fault then?

I didn't expect this thread to make it to 15 pages... Damn!!!

Be proud of yourself, you got yourself a Plat!

 

[Art Barr]

How is it "showing up unannounced" when:

1. He traveled to come see her
2. Had her involved in his housing situation
3. She texted him throughout her journey

I don't think the stringent rules (of don't show up unannounced) apply in this scenario unless travelling miles and renting a place to see a girl is done for just anyone and there's nothing special about this relationship

I think the guy is doing the "it wasn't me" so thoroughly it has the girl questioning her instincts. That's messed up.

In any case even if there wasn't anything in that apartment that he didn't mind her seeing then he's petty as hell getting mad because she didn't respond to his texts after she went travelling. So up in his feelings to turn her away when she came to his place?

In any case the girl takes the L for thinking he cared more than he did. The guy takes the L for doing all the mental gymnastics because he doesn't want to tell it as it is.

And in the end you'll likely drag it because neither of you want the L.

@CinnamonTequila

Good take.

Ts, never paid attention to the lack of communication.
Plus real talk dope sound prospective couples of any type whether past ex's or new courts. Show more attentiveness in communication. The underlying problem here actually is the Thread starter.
as it is obvious she fell for someone with cheater swag so long ago. Her idea of how and what healthy communication do not exist anymore. Or are severely damaged and have to be repaired.
Imo, the Ts sounds like she dated the guy playing Cheater declining Intimacy and closeness games. She has no barometer anymore of what is healthy as far as committals and non-committals.
Nor, is she able to understand communication types from committals and non-committals.

So, I see rather easily how we are having discussions on this point.
to how shyt got to this exact point as well.

The thread starter needs to actually go heal and be alone to be honest. You sound like a serial relationship style dater who never took a real break and have no game to go with all the failures at love. As you cognitively do not sound like you are over the shock of past relationships at all.
As your communication and connection featured in this thread speak volumes about you need to just chill and get a better grasp on courting.
as far as committals and non-committals and how to get game and nav both arenas in this current shark pool dating based time. if you do not you are going to have these sorts of issues all the time. As your communication and levels of game are completely deficient and can be preyed upon leaving you worse for wear.

Take the time, sistah.

Take the time.


Art Barr

 

[Art Barr]

you're lying

If he told the truth there.

He would have got a house.


Art Barr

*tell the truth globally and get the spoils.

You ain't got to lie to kick it was said to Craig by a girl. Peep the signs.

 

[ultraflexed]

NOW These are my questions:

Do you think (based on EVERYTHING that I just explained) that I was wrong by showing up like that?

Do you think maybe his reaction was just uncalled for?

Was I wrong for thinking that he had some bytch in there?

Do you think maybe the fact that he flew here supposedly just to visit me was enough reason for me to think I could show up like that??

Spoiler: You know what... I wanna know his opinion too...

@Smashius Clay I summon you!
Get here and explain yourself dude... AN NO BS PLEASE That's no way of treating a lady..

2 things can be equally true....
he probably friend zoned you so yes he wanted to visit you but probably had others plan that didn't concern you

unless invited if just pop up on someone that could happen, probably did have a girl there but y'll not together, you were wrong.


his reaction was normal, could've been worse

 

[ultraflexed]

I didn't have anyone in the room, real talk.

She texted me on Saturday, late afternoon. I squashed other plans to see her then she never hit me back or returned my calls.

Sunday she messages me hello, I respond with "yo, whats good, tryna link and go to the beach?" No response.

HOURS later, a knock at my door.

Boundaries brehs.

she said she ran out of internet so the void in communication bound to happen.

either your really young and immature or you had a girl at the house, if this was really your friend and you really cared for her, how hard was it to just let her in if you really didn't have anyone there...you could of at least heard her side of the story for the lack of communication and then make a decision, but it sees like you were hurt in through a tantrum or you had a women there.

 

[ultraflexed]

You answered your own damn question..
Smarten up

Cultural question - When you are official with a woman is it ok for her to show up unannounced?

yes..

 

[Lord Bison]

she said she ran out of internet so the void in communication bound to happen.

either your really young and immature or you had a girl at the house, if this was really your friend and you really cared for her, how hard was it to just let her in if you really didn't have anyone there...you could of at least heard her side of the story for the lack of communication and then make a decision, but it sees like you were hurt in through a tantrum or you had a women there.

Fukk outta here with this emotional nonsense. Girl flaked on dude so he doesn't owe her a thing. Simps like you is the reason why cuck culture is where it is now and why real nikkas are staying #HOH so we can maintain some self respect.

 

[ultraflexed]

I didn't think she was there. Thought she was a housekeeper. I told her to text cuz I was hungover.

Like seriously, if I'm smashing someone, why would I be responding to messages? If I'm on a date, I'm not even paying attention to my phone. Ladies always tryna tell a dude how he moving is suspect. Literally it was what it was.

Don't call, text. (I'm hungover)

Oh you here? Prove it. (I ain't had a convo with you since like 2 days ago)

Oh you really here? (You stood me up on Saturday then come here unannounced like I traveled all the way here to wait in my apt to see you when you decide to bless me with your presence)

I can almost see what you mean by telling her to kicks rocks but..........you was getting some ass

 

[ultraflexed]

I'm over it.
I'm not even sure if I care if he had or didn't have someone there at the moment because we are not in a relationship anymore.
My visit was not a sexual or romantic.

women are extremely good at lying to themselves, perfect example

 

[ultraflexed]

reason why cuck culture is where it is

I have no idea what this is