So, I've been 5 years sober. I've developed a cough and started coughing up blood. I went to the CT scan place today, and the doctor emailed me saying I need to set up an appointment to discuss the results. When the results are fine, she never asks me to make an appointment. I'm expecting the worst. I've had chest pains and sweating, along with the blood. We thought it was my heart, but it turned out to be fine. I'm pretty sure it's my lungs. Now with this appointment, I fear I have lung cancer. I guess smoking is, in fact, bad for you. 
I went to the liquor store and picked up some high alcohol IPA and some whisky barrel aged Stout. Being drunk is awesome. If I'm going to die in a year, I'm gonna drink in the evenings. Now I just gotta figure out my will. I guess if I do have lung cancer, I gotta get surgery or chemo. I'm debating on if I should just kill myself in some alloted time or wait for the inevitable end that cancer provides.
I lived a good life until like 5 years ago. Getting sober was great for me, because I had a problem, but it was also bad for me. I stopped hanging out with people, I stopped socializing. I dunno, this shyt makes you think. If I drop dead in 6 months, it'll be fine. I lived what I lived and discovered absolute infinity.
Death is not the end. Still, it's scary. What if I'm wrong, and death really is the end. What if there is nothing after death?
I've been watching a lot of TV recently, and this show I just watched, Magpie Murders, has the main character die of lung cancer. shyt hit home. It feels like the stars are aligning.
I went to the liquor store and picked up some high alcohol IPA and some whisky barrel aged Stout. Being drunk is awesome. If I'm going to die in a year, I'm gonna drink in the evenings. Now I just gotta figure out my will. I guess if I do have lung cancer, I gotta get surgery or chemo. I'm debating on if I should just kill myself in some alloted time or wait for the inevitable end that cancer provides.
I lived a good life until like 5 years ago. Getting sober was great for me, because I had a problem, but it was also bad for me. I stopped hanging out with people, I stopped socializing. I dunno, this shyt makes you think. If I drop dead in 6 months, it'll be fine. I lived what I lived and discovered absolute infinity.
Death is not the end. Still, it's scary. What if I'm wrong, and death really is the end. What if there is nothing after death? I've been watching a lot of TV recently, and this show I just watched, Magpie Murders, has the main character die of lung cancer. shyt hit home. It feels like the stars are aligning.
