If that's what you want then you should just go for it man. No matter what you're into sexually, as long as it's legal, it should because it's what you really want to do. Don't worry about what haters say. Although, it does sound like you might actually be sort of depressed and dealing with an episode. But i'm not a doctor. If you happy with a dry dikk, then I'm happy for you. However, someone did mention that you might be gay. I ain't gonna lie, they might be sort of right. I've been fluid and in times when I was more about the home team, I felt what you were describing to a T, breh. Not saying you need to run out and blow a nikka, but be safe either way.
Again, all that matters is that you are comfortable with who you are. dikk, p*ssy, or nothing.