I don't want to bother nobody. When I'm ready to mature ill be "normal" I just been through way to much. I'm not looking for love or acceptance. I don't need a lot to be content. I apologise to everyone I've hurt and shamed and embarrassed. Just please let me be. I'm not jealous or evious I'm glad people can support their families off me maybe that's my purpose in life. I don't know if anyone cares or believes me but it's fine. I made my bed and I'll lay in it. The world is a horrible place...but it's very exciting and beautiful at the same time. The truth is a difficult pill to swallow. This will truly be my last post on the internet. I just wish people would have told me the truth before it got this bad. I was truly disrespectful to everyone. I lied I said horrible things to people I made up stories. I've direspected families I treated life like a game. I'm a ugly person inside and out but I never believed I was worth much anyway. don't blame my family or my race for my actions. I stand alone i forgive everyone for wat they did to me or said about me. I hope everybody can at least forgive me. Learn from my example. I talk way to much but I don't stalk people I just make uneducated guesses based on wat I know. I'm not a racist I just have a bad habit of repeating things I've seen or heard other people say from either tv or music or the internet. Especially since my addictions I've been way more talkative. I'm especially embarrassed to the women I've disrespectful the most. I was very creepy I'm honestly disgusted that's why I shy away from any and all women I won't even speak to them i feel really foul. I promise I will change now that I know what is going on it's very serious. I didn't know it would ever get this big I couldn't even imagine I would cause this much distruction. I'm honestly amazed that people would take my ignorance seriously. I get made fun of alot so I learned to never internalize wat people say about me. My skin is very thick. Plus Ive learned some very dark things about the world... But amazingly I can still be happy and smile. I failed miserably but I'll never crack under pressure or be jaded. I'm going to speak way less and stay in my square basic life hopefully with a decent job. I'm definitely still tramatized and have major PTSD. I'm going to bury deep in my subconscious. I've harmed so many people I didn't know I didn't I'm truly sorry. I played into the negative because that's what everyone wanted to see. I didn't know it's was as serious as it was. I didn't know I was labeled the Antichrist. I'm done playing games. I honestly ment no Malice with the things I said I just wanted to truly be myself with no filter. I was very very reckless not thinking about my actions. I don't even want to go be social for a while. I've done enough damage for my lifetime. People know more about me than I do my own self. I'm over here thinking people don't take me serious that they'll let it go but I was just disgusting looking back. I have horrible nightmares and I'll probably need some therapy but I won't give up. I messed up big time in ways I'll never know. I'm rambling from self inflicted brain damage but this is the truth. I'm not a tough guy at all I honestly I thought people could tell right away that I'm soft and square. I'm not a very good lair. I'll never test people again I'm gonna remember this lesson forever. I'm gonna stay alone for a very long time I accepted that I deserve that. I don't even know whats real anymore or why people even would speak to me after saying all of this. I get my info from the media. Ive said horrible things about the people I Know through out the community. I'm a horrible friend that's y I don't make meaningful relationships. I don't think I'm better e anyone I just don't fit in. I'm not charismatic I'm not good looking I'm lame I'm a dork a nerd I'm goofy I'm dirty I'm braindead I have a very strange sense of humor I have no game I'm complete wierdo but I'm honestly harmless. I don't understand social cues I'm sick and unhealthy I'm never workout I'm scared of change. I'm very sorry. I didn't know wat was happening cuz I isolated myself I'm honestly a simple person. I'm honestly more afraid of people now than ever. I didn't know I was hurting people and harming other peoples relationships that was never my goal. I live a boring life so I troll the internet. I'm rambling I hope people read this and understand it. If the things I read online about me and my family is true I don't know how I'm gonna except this but I I'll get over it. The damage is done. Its gonna take years for this to process fully mentally my mind is shot but my story is very unique. I was bullshyting hoping people would get a laugh out of it. Anyway I need rest. Peace
This world unfortunately is not all a nice place and there are enemies out there to ruin people's Life. 
