there's a reason they're planting the debate crowds with his people. problem is he's not likeable. dude comes off fake as fukk. snitch ass hall monitor.
Last edited:
If Rubio doesn't get the nomination, the GOP effed up
- Thread starter acri1
- Start date
:Funni:Time to double down then
You insufferable c*nt.
Wasn't he guy with the dry lip water bottle incident?
Everytime I watch Rubio speak I just see dollar signs trailing his talking points 
It's too transparent. A better politician doesn't make it so easy to see who's feeding him.
It's too transparent. A better politician doesn't make it so easy to see who's feeding him.
Dazed Marco Rubio Wakes Up In Koch Compound To Find Cold Metal Device Installed Behind EarEverytime I watch Rubio speak I just see dollar signs trailing his talking points
It's too transparent. A better politician doesn't make it so easy to see who's feeding him.
‘Hello Marco, We Will Now Begin The Program,’ Says Soothing Voice
A disoriented Rubio says he is unsure if he has been in the room for five hours or five days.
NEWS January 29, 2016
Vol 52 Issue 03 Politics · Politicians · Election 2016 · Marco Rubio
UNKNOWN LOCATION—The brightly lit, stark-white room gradually coming into focus as he regained consciousness, GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio reportedly awoke in the Koch brothers’ secret compound Thursday and reached suddenly to his throbbing head to discover a cold metal device implanted behind his left ear.
As Rubio sat up slowly on a steel cot—the room otherwise empty except for a large Koch Industries logo emblazoned on one wall—sources said he was startled to hear a soothing voice reverberating inside his aching skull, evidently emanating from the smooth metal disk that he gingerly touched while panic began to well in his chest.
“Hello, Marco,” said the oddly familiar voice. “We are very pleased to have you as our guest. We have so much planned for you.”
“Remember, what’s best for us is best for you, Marco. Now, let’s begin with an exercise on threats to American free enterprise and prosperity.”
“Now that you’ve rested, we can begin,” the voice continued.
Rubio, whose heart was reportedly racing, is said to have broken into a cold sweat as he frantically tried to piece together the hazy details from the night before. Though he could vaguely recall having attended a fundraising dinner at the Cato Institute the previous evening, the presidential candidate was reportedly only able to remember drinking a strange-tasting glass of champagne at the event before everything went blank, leaving him without any recollection of the intervening hours before he awoke in the windowless, featureless room somewhere inside the Koch brothers’ sprawling subterranean facility.
According to sources, a scared and confused Rubio then absentmindedly felt for his phone and watch, only to discover that his clothes had been replaced with a white jumpsuit featuring an ID tag reading “2016 CANDIDATE #0003.”
“There’s no need to panic—you’ll be back to campaigning just as soon as our session is complete,” said the voice as Rubio searched in vain for a door or an exit of some kind along the room’s perfectly smooth walls. “Remember, what’s best for us is best for you, Marco. Now, let’s begin with an exercise on threats to American free enterprise and prosperity.”
Reports indicate that Rubio then saw the words “Now Importing Lesson” overlaid across his field of vision before hundreds of lines of conservative policy papers and essays relating to the detrimental effects of government regulation on business began scrolling in front of his eyes.
Sources confirmed that the senator was then forced to repeat thousands of talking points about how outdated labor regulations empower unions without actually creating opportunities for workers, and was repeatedly prompted by the voice to give a detailed explanation as to how a preferred plan that drastically cuts corporate taxes would create jobs. When Rubio fumbled an answer or paused for too long, he would reportedly be brought to his knees by a piercing, high-decibel frequency, followed by the voice calmly suggesting that he “try to pay a little closer attention.”
After Rubio was finally able to argue to the voice’s satisfaction that pending environmental protection legislation would ultimately hurt everyday consumers, a slot is said to have opened in the wall and a tray containing a glass of water and three slices of bread was pushed through.
“We are delighted by your progress, Marco,” said the voice as a visibly weak and hungry Rubio threw himself at the food. “Remember, we will always reward your hard work, here and outside this room.”
With no way of keeping time and without any connection to the outside world, sources said the Florida senator lost track of how long he had been in the room, and following an indeterminate number of hours of instruction, began to forget what his original stance on entitlements and immigration reform had been.
Rubio, who completed nearly a dozen drills on subjects ranging from natural gas pipelines to private health insurance, reportedly reached his breaking point when he failed to articulate his position against the Wind Production Tax Credit after 15 consecutive attempts. The fatigued presidential hopeful is said to have then curled up into a fetal position on the bare floor, rocking back and forth while whimpering, “What more do you want from me? Please, God, just let me out. Please.”
“Perhaps you have forgotten, Marco, that we want to help you,” said the voice, growing louder in Rubio’s ear. “But we can’t help you if you do not cooperate, now can we?”
Overcome with desperation, Rubio is then said to have repeatedly slammed his body against the blank white walls of his room. After several futile attempts, sources said the candidate proceeded to claw violently at the skin behind his ear in an apparent attempt to dislodge the device.
“I’m afraid you cannot leave until your session is complete, Marco,” said the voice as a thick, white cloud of gas filled the room from unseen vents, causing Rubio to slump to the floor and begin losing consciousness. “We have invested too much in you.”
Berniewood Hogan
IT'S BERNIE SANDERS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
I CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS, BUT I FEEL LIKE RUBIO SHOULD BE FOLLOWED AROUND AT ALL TIMES BY A GAGGLE OF TEENAGE JAPANESE GIRLS SHOUTING "Rubioooooooo! Rubiooo-Saaaannn!"
rubio is overrated.
No worse than Cruz. Rubio at least seems earnest.
Dunno about that. Anytime I see Rubio speak he sounds extremely scripted and rehearsed. Even a reporter said that Rubio is like a computer algorithm designed to cover talking points.
See this is my problem...Rubio seems like a decent republican (although i'm not one) and by virtue of that, does that mean the republican base likes him?
If I find him palatable, does that mean he is, de facto incongruent with what the GOP really wants?
ADevilYouKhow
Rhyme Reason
Kasich then?
He seems a little hot under the collar and deeply in love with trickle down and other austerity driven nonsense.
I think the base has moved even further to the right than Kasich though!
Saw earlier the NYT gave Kasich and Hillary the nod.
King Kreole
natural blondie like goku
The only way Cruz wins the GE is if Democrats have a low turnout. Rubio has the ability to shift enough to the centre and build a broad enough coalition to challenge Hillary or Bernie. He's the obvious choice for Republican strategists. He does sound robotic, but off-debate he's amiable enough and modern enough to convert moderates. He's who the Dems fear the most. Cruz will have his base, but when it comes to the gut check by undecideds in the voting booth, Ted will not stand a chance. He's eminently unlikeable.
There was a brief 2-3 week window in I think October or November (after the Mexican Rapist comments but before the Ban Muslim comments) that Trump could have legitimately taken the White House. He teases it every now and then with appeals to universal healthcare and ME pullout, but he decided to double down on his base and go full retard. Now he's unelectable. He's gone too far. He could have been a Bernie-like figure, but now the full tide of the media is against him. I now believe he's actually running his campaign himself.
There was a brief 2-3 week window in I think October or November (after the Mexican Rapist comments but before the Ban Muslim comments) that Trump could have legitimately taken the White House. He teases it every now and then with appeals to universal healthcare and ME pullout, but he decided to double down on his base and go full retard. Now he's unelectable. He's gone too far. He could have been a Bernie-like figure, but now the full tide of the media is against him. I now believe he's actually running his campaign himself.
The War Report
NewNewYork
Rubio is a hawk and a religious nut. That's not a winning formula for the general. And Latinos aren't just gonna fukk with him just because he's Cuban. He's only a conservative because that's the party that's always getting at Cuba. Dude sounds mad manufactured.
he's gonna win Breh, he will lose nh but after that he's gonna do really good
King Kreole
natural blondie like goku
Hawk is a relative term, especially when compared to Ted "Glowing Sand" Cruz. Clinton is also a Hawk and was part of an administration that ramped up presence in the ME, so it would be kinda hard to draw a meaningful distinction between Rubio and Clinton, if she wins the nomination. Religious nut is also relative, because he's been on record saying gay marriage is the law of the land so there's no point in fighting it, so he has the ability to shift to the centre a bit on that issue.
If Clinton is the nominee, and she causes Dem turnout to drop, Rubio could very have a winning formula.