Hardest part is the thought of another nikka in her guts.

Enough to drive a sane man crazy, literally.
I left her
and as much as "toxic" and "narcissistic" are buzz words she checked all the boxes to a tee
I was startled at how accurate those terms described her
and then everything I went through with her over the past year and change began to make sense
but yeah, the thought of her sucking and fukking another nikka is definitely one of the things fukking with me the most right now
she used to fukk me so good too so the thought of.somebody else is just getting that is just
But she was doing all that with other people before me so
not that that lessens the pain any
It's been a month and I'm standing on my square and maintaining my no.contact rule because if I go back and interact with her in any way whatsoever I'll undo all the work I did in learning the fact that I have to love myself more than the fukked up relationship I was in with her.
but in the present moment I'm scared I'm gonna be single forever and nobody will want me
meanwhile she's prolly not thinking about me at ALL anymore
Like Chappelle says "tough break nikka

"
now I just work, come home, work out, and go to sleep cuz I don't wanna think about it
I haven't been this depressed in a long time. And I don't wanna drink because I just passed 2 years sober and she's not worth me hopping back on the wagon and fukking my life up all over again.
Anyways, good thread. I just wanted to contribute in solidarity for any brehs going through the same thing or have in the past.
I'm just hoping it gets better for me